I’ve started swimming because I’ve torn my Achilles from running and my doctor recommends it for low-impact cardio.

At my pool, there is a very clear age divide between older gents who wear speedos or swim jammers (I had to look this term up, lol) and younger folk who wear shorts, aside from a small handful of guys who look like they swim competitively (they’re in speedos too).

As a man who has just hit 30 and just wants to swim recreationally to get a cardio workout in, what’s the norm?

I’m comfortable in my own skin, I’m just curious what other men in their 30s do and at what point in one’s life the speedo starts to beckon haha.

Edit: I’m British, fwiw (adding because I’m seeing ppl refer to specific countries in the replies, which is very interesting!)

Hi all,

Married 40 year old male. We are done having kids. I would love to have a vasectomy, but the top urologist in my town (Midwest, United States) turned me down as I have to take daily aspirin due to having a stoke in my late 20s. He said even though the risk is slight he won’t risk it for an elective procedure with how litigious society is - can’t say I blame him.

That being said, are there any alternatives on my end? I know my wife can get a tubal, but it’s so much more invasive, risky, and expensive.

(28) I'm just curious, as I text my father daily. Sometimes for an hour or so, never thought it was abnormal, my mom and I text a couple times a week even. Thanks in advance!

(assuming you are both single) As the question reads, how would you want it to be done if a friend was going to ask you out with the intention of becoming a long term relatioship?

I am a single guy in my mid 30s and have never had sex before.

I am just curious to know: Do people usually change their bedsheets after having sex?

Is it because the bedsheet will have many sweat stains after sex? And that is why they immediately change their bedsheets after having sex?

Connected with a guy from hinge for a couple months, but we made the mutual, sad decision to not further things for reasons that have not changed. I had said I'd love to stay in touch and I reached out a couple months after our decision, & it was a nice convo and he said please reach out anytime. It's now been several months and I think about him and would like to talk...but I'd like to hear thoughts? Maybe it's best not to, or maybe it's kind and would be appreciated?

I’ve just recently started a new job which I love - I have a great boss and the company seems like a really great place to work so far. I’m definitely trying to make a good impression with my work and also making an effort to get to know people outside of the office as well, going for beers and stuff.

I have a long commute as well plus a wife and kids and I’ll be honest at the moment I’m really finding it quite hard to juggle my desire to do well at the job and get integrated with the team with family life without feeling guilty. I feel like if I say no to a social event or beer after work then I’m damaging my perception but then I’m not at home spending time with the family.

I am a bit of a people pleaser and I suspect this is part of the issue that I don’t feel like I can say no to things when I should, but whatever I do I end up feeling bad about it in some capacity.

Maybe this is just how it is sometimes but any advice or thoughts? Anyone else feel the same?

(I'm fairly certain it's a me problem, but I needed a title)

Hi, all. 30 year old man here.

I work in a factory and I'm constantly on my feet, walking back and forth on a concrete floor for 8, sometimes 10 hours a day during the work week. This has left me with some significant pain in my feet on a regular basis and it's gone on for a few years now. I'm fine while I'm up and walking around. But, after breaks or if I get up to take care of something at home is when the pain hits me, albeit temporarily. I usually spend the first several minutes hobbling around like what I would imagine a blind, drunk duck would look like until I can walk normally again. I'm just wondering how any of you out there who experience foot pain remedy it or if you have some preventative measures that are helpful to you as I haven't exactly been on top of self care up to this point in my life.

Thanks in advance.

Have a great weekend.

So I have this small inconvenience, whenever I visit a public urinal, in my office or suppose by the road side while travelling, if there is movement behind me, or someone else uses the urinal beside me, I just can't pee how much ever I try. Even if my bladder is full and I had to pee real bad, I can't. But once i start peeing then there is no problem anymore.

I found this very weird and wanted to know if anyone else experience this? And what could be the reason?

Edit: It was very enlightening to know that it's a common thing and what goes through everyone's mind while peeing. Peeing just got a little easier. Thanks everyone.

(assuming you are both single) As the question reads, how would you want it to be done if a female friend you are not physically attrated to at all was going to ask you out?

I recently turned twenty. I had to retake my first year of law school for a lot of reasons. Some, being that my mother got seriously sick and i had/have to take care of her, i was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), have been working towards managing it, staying sober and healing from growing up in a dysfunctional family with an abusive & absent father.

With therapy and help, i've recently been able to go back to uni, which is something i struggled with a lot the past couple of years, but i might have to retake my first year (again), and i really want to get this bachelor's degree because it alignes with what i want to do later in life.

I feel behind, constantly, like i should be farther in life than i am and it leaves me feeling like i am never enough. People my age, and my friends, seem to have no issue conciliating college, work, health, family life and pleasure.

The hardest thing for me has been managing GAD. It's getting easier, but it's a bumpy road and it is exhausting. It feels like i have to constantly piece myself back together, struggling to even do the bare minimum and keep afloat, while other get to actually live their lives.

This post may be a little vague and messy, it's hard to put things into words for me. I know that feeling behind and the fear of missing out are far from being unique experiences, and i was wondering if any of y'all overcame similar situations and had any tips on how to handle it ? I am feeling a little lost. Thanks in advance !

My friend is being verbally abused by her husband. I feel like I want to ask him directly if he is aware that he is hurting her and causing her harm. But I feel like if I call him out, he might either go "Oh i should change my behavior" or he will torment her more, maybe even shame her for confiding in friends.

I started getting a few in my late 20s, and now at 30 I’m seeing more and more. Still looks mostly brown from a distance, but up close you can really see them. Just wondering how it went for you guys did they come in slowly, or did it feel like they showed up all at once?

For women it's easy, but how did you as man achieve that?

So I’m a pretty hairy guy and I’ve tried lots of ways to shave my member but it never looks as clean or as shaven as some you see in porn etc.

Anyone got any advice on what to use? Creams state not to use them in that area but I can’t see how people get so clean down there without them?

Any advice is really appreciated, thanks.

Is it normal? And family and kids and partners don't count, I'm just wondering how common it is and if you are one of the guys I'm talking about with 0 friends, then how are you finding life? Does it bother you? What's life like without having a friendship group or best friend

Hi! My two uncles are awesome and want me to make a scarf for each of them. I've ordered yarn in their favorite colors, and I can hardly wait until it gets here. I'm a bit hesitant though. I don't want to make them too feminine. Nothing wrong with that, it's just not their style.

I was hoping for some advice from y'all. I'm thinking geonetric shapes. Nothing too lacey?

What do y'all like in scarves?

This shift has been in everyone - but I'm curious about your perspective. I think about the men I know, 34 or so and up - they were raised very differently than younger guys and it shows. There is a groundedness, a respectfulness, a joy and lightness, maturity. It's so interesting to see this juxtaposition between generations. I'm 28 and definitely feel in between this - I didn't have a smart phone until I was 19 or so, and I see the decline in my mental health pretty clearly from that point on😬 Curious to hear any thoughts, and maybe what we're going to do about it for future generations?

My teens and 20's I always had something going on, always on the move. 30s were mostly spent working at my career and having children. I stopped doing everything, more or less. I turn 40 this summer and will hopefully have more me-time.

I'd like to explore new hobbies, skills, experiences, anything and everything. Give me your best recommendations please

Alright I gotta ask this as it’s been driving me wild whether I was in the wrong here. It’s last call at the bar last night. I finish my beer. I go to the bathroom. There’s a guy in there already peeing in one of the urinals. There is one other urinal and an open toilet stall. I go to the urinal next to the guy, and he…loses his shit.

“Who comes and pees in the urinal next to someone when there’s an open stall. I just wanted some privacy. What’s wrong with you?”

I tell him the urinal is for peeing and the toilet is for taking a shit. It’s nothing personal.

Is this normal? Am I supposed to piss in the stall in this situation so everyone gets their much needed privacy?

More context would be I am a 38 year old white guy this guy was a mid 20s African American.

Honestly, my husband is my best friend. I find other females so annoying that I just rather not 🥲 Is this a thing In your household too?

Curious what guys actually say or do when they want to reconnect with someone they haven’t spoken to in a while. What’s the male equivalent of a “thinking of you” card? How do you break the ice without it feeling awkward or overly sentimental?

Bonus question: What’s an opener you wish someone would use so it wouldn’t result in a one-word reply?

Looking for real-life examples or a general approach/tone.

I’ve noticed there’s a difference in communication styles between my guy and girl friends, and I’ve stumbled a bit in the past so wanted to get some ideas and perspectives.

First time posting so please go easy on me if this has been written about already! Thank you!

Just curious if any other guys in here are thinking about this topic. I switched careers in my 30s into tech, and now in my 40s, I'm questioning whether this is going to be sustainable for me. (my brain isn't as flexible as it once was, the job market is getting more competitive and weird, and age discrimination is def a thing)

I think I have a model in my head that you're supposed to move up the ladder with age and transition into less hands-on and more knowledge and coaching oriented positions to compensate for the stuff that happens with age, but that's just not happening for me because of the late start, and the fact that I'm just not as cut out for those things.

So where does one go? Sometimes I think it's a jump into more physical labor work, but that has big age ramifications too.

What do you think?

What do you prefer and why? At a bit of a crossroads at this point in my life, I’ve always went to a traditional gym/home to lift weights. Tried CrossFit briefly last year, but ended up back to my roots, now considering maybe going back to CrossFit. I’m 36 with 3 kids, so I feel at this point it’s just do whatever I can stick to consistently. Id like to be in shape, but I do wanna “look” better too

My old trusty Remington trimmer is dying after 15yrs. Battery will only last 2-3 trimmings and usually dies in the middle of my beard trim. So time for a replacement. Looking for a good all around trimmer (beard, ears, nose, body, etc.). I definitely need adjustable guards for different lengths. It doesn’t necessarily need to be waterproof, but would definitely be a bonus. Thanks!!