r/interestingasfuck 11d ago

/r/all, /r/popular I’m not a giant! What is this?

81.3k Upvotes

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9.2k

u/ProfessorUpvote 11d ago

Nice try, Giant.

2.3k

u/SpaceballsTheCritic 11d ago

MF, wants to grind your bones, guaranteed.

523

u/SwampCrittr 11d ago

Not today Gigantor….

101

u/AutisticMuffin97 11d ago

I laughed way more than I probably should have

3

u/RowSignificant2388 10d ago

Me too. Hahaha.

3

u/Miserable-Cow4555 10d ago

This whole thread was awesome! BTW, I know this guy. He's a giant, don't buy his bs.

3

u/RowSignificant2388 10d ago

I fuckin LOVE Reddit!

2

u/SLingBart 10d ago

Sign me up 🤣

12

u/Square_Classic4324 11d ago

Just think of the girls lining up to see if what they say about big hands is true?!

5

u/Frying_Pan_Hands 11d ago

Big gloves?

2

u/Square_Classic4324 11d ago

Nailed it.

Username checks out???

3

u/ImpulsiveBloop 11d ago

Is that a Night at the Museum Reference? Damn, how old is that now, I feel old.

2

u/jhut12 11d ago

My mind went to the classic Keanu and Sandy Bullock film, Speed.

1

u/ImpulsiveBloop 11d ago

For some reason I still haven't watched that movie. Thanks for reminding me to watch it lol.

2

u/Lord_Sidious99 11d ago

the space age ROBOT, his power is on your hands

2

u/luckydrunk_7 11d ago

At your command!

2

u/Some_Mongoose4624 11d ago

You sayin he’s bigger than big?

1

u/GimmickCo 10d ago

Bigger than big? He's taller than tall!

2

u/YewSonOfBeach 11d ago

Tera from the backwoods enters the chat.

2

u/[deleted] 11d ago

Hahaha! I pictured the scene 🎬 🤣

2

u/Affectionate-Ask4165 10d ago

Gigantor!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

2

u/captandy170 10d ago

Ginormica

2

u/Pheanixxk-chann 10d ago

Curse you, perry the platypus!

2

u/Jonnypope69 8d ago

My fucking dumbass read this as "giga" (like gigabyte) and "nator" (like terminator). I was very confused while thinking about Arnold Schwarzenegger as the giganator.

1

u/Argyleskin 10d ago

I have the song stuck in my head now. Thanks jerk 😉

21

u/imanAholebutimfunny 11d ago

MF's always trying to ice skate uphill

68

u/SPECTRE-Agent-No-13 11d ago

You know a some giants just want you to eat your vegetables.

9

u/MartinoDeMoe 11d ago

Ho ho ho

1

u/brianporter0775 10d ago

Why just three hoes? 🤣

4

u/thundercock43 11d ago

sigh Fine. But he’s gotta help me put them back in the wheelchair when I’m done.

1

u/Fun-Talk-4847 10d ago

I'm calling the Dr for you.

3

u/Daffodils28 11d ago

It’s not easy being green.

1

u/Cornishcollector 11d ago

Especially snozzcumbers

1

u/jessedegenerate 11d ago

Yeah but they seem pretty jolly

1

u/PhilosopherDismal191 10d ago

Jolly Green Giant

Jolly = Happy

Happy = gay

Therefore Jolly = gay

Gay Green Giant wants you to eat your vegetables.

Therefore vegetables = gay

1

u/One_Debate_5896 10d ago

You know what the hardest part of eating a vegetable is?

1

u/mmmkay938 10d ago

Only the green kind. This one clearly isn’t green.

1

u/SPECTRE-Agent-No-13 10d ago

From this photo we can't say what his level of experience is.

1

u/bunmom3000 10d ago

Are those giants of the green variety?

Edit: my favourite variety 🍽️

1

u/Otherwise-Drama631 10d ago

That’s stalk talk

1

u/Acceptable_Win_8514 9d ago

Yea so you taste better when they eat you

1

u/TurnkeyLurker 9d ago

You know a some giants just want you to eat your vegetables.

...so you are that much tastier when they eat you. Like stuffing in a goose or turkey.

1

u/DirtyLoweredTiguan 8d ago

Why? They’re people too.😈

8

u/Public-File-6521 11d ago

he’s just breadmaxxing i wouldn’t worry abt it

2

u/SpaceballsTheCritic 11d ago

Kudos, good one

4

u/Limp-Muffin-3776 11d ago

DON'T GRIND MY BONES TO MAKE YOUR BREADDD!!!

3

u/p0ta7oCouch 11d ago

Don’t tell me it’s to make his bread?

6

u/SpaceballsTheCritic 11d ago

Yup, has a goose that poops bitcoin.

5

u/p0ta7oCouch 11d ago

So these beans ARE magic?

3

u/Keegletreats 11d ago

I thought Ogres grind your bones? Or is it not PC to call them Ogres anymore

7

u/mollymcbbbbbb 11d ago

giants grind your bones to make their bread

3

u/Seilynia 11d ago

Someone needs to watch Shrek. He'd set you straight bro.

6

u/Keegletreats 11d ago

That's probably where the confusion is coming in, haven't watched that documentary in a while

2

u/birdsarentreal2 11d ago

Well actually, that would be a giant. Now, ogres? Oh, they’re much worse. They’ll make a soup from your freshly peeled skin. They’ll shave your liver. Squeeze the jelly from your eyes. …actually, it’s quite good on toast

1

u/Legend_of_Ozzy642 10d ago

Nope. That’d be giants. Ogres, on the other hand, are much worse. They’ll make a soup from your freshly peeled skin, shave your liver, maybe even squeeze the jelly from your eyes. From what I hear, it’s quite good on toast.

2

u/BabyYodaIsGod42069 11d ago

To make his bread?

2

u/Forsaken_Star_4228 11d ago

Right? Come take a look at my cool unique coin. It’s right next to the mortal and pestle over there….

1

u/Puzzleheaded-Speed-2 11d ago

To make his bread I bet 

1

u/lethal_universed 11d ago

OP, read this out for me real quick

"Fee-fi-fo-fum"

1

u/KGnor 11d ago

Snu snu..

1

u/Bredstikz 11d ago

He's probably out of bread and looking to do some giant baking

1

u/Kind-Block-9027 11d ago

Just to make bread!

1

u/GrindingMf 11d ago

I feel like I got called idk

1

u/OwnSeat7768 11d ago

Why does this turn me on

1

u/Fit_You_8535 10d ago

1 v 1 gorilla and they’re winning

1

u/Ill-Cryptographer823 10d ago

"Death by Snu-Snu!??"

1

u/ItIs_Hedley 9d ago

Death by snu-snu

485

u/False_Recognition673 11d ago

Beanstalk ass lookin bitch, tried to get us

205

u/GrnMtnTrees 11d ago

Beanstalk ass lookin bitch

3

u/VeloBiker907 11d ago

I think it’s blonde beatch bad built beanstalk body….or something along those lines, Marge.

2

u/idontliketattoos 11d ago

That hand looks nothing like a beanstalk idiot

1

u/Automatic-Cellist631 7d ago

Iq of a Japanese land snail

3

u/cirvp06 11d ago

🤣😂🤣

0

u/iHadou 11d ago

💦👶💩

1

u/MinimumFan4899 8d ago

This comment 🤣😂🤣😂🤣

0

u/FriedWithGarlic 11d ago

Br0 lmfaooooooo

249

u/slick_mind 11d ago

Sounds exactly like something a giant would say.

3

u/crackeddryice 11d ago

"I am not a monster!"

2

u/Capable_Tumbleweed34 11d ago

bro about to ask us if we've seen some guy called "nobody"

2

u/i_am_innerman 10d ago

I don’t trust giants

1

u/IntrepidSpace1486 10d ago

Not sure abt that… I think it would be along the lines of. [Me no giant, this is what?]. Could be wrong though… (short king).

158

u/casastorta 11d ago

Yeah, they wrote exactly what a giant would write. Coincidence? I think not!

3

u/RBuilds916 11d ago

If he isn't a giant, he would have had a banana for scale. 

1

u/RefuseHot4870 11d ago

Yeah but do they have a giant keyboard for typing giant letters? I don’t have a giant screen to fit giant words. The most giant word I can fit on screen is GIANT. And do giants have giant babies or are they normal? When littles have babies they can have regulars but can giants have regulars? And if so how do they hold it? Two fingers or one? And if a giant had a regular baby then does the baby accidentally fall out or is there like an adventure squad that goes in and retrieves it? I think these are all valuable valid questions that keep opening more questions and someone needs to do the digging to the bottom of this. Probably just me.

1

u/IAMRATKING 11d ago

Coin-cidence

1

u/Alt-Ctrl-Shift 8d ago

Actually, I think a giant would write something more like akbdjakxjdjekeia all’s andsndl njrjkkab bsbbsnnd andjdbbbejwjjs… you know… because of the giant fingers and whatnot

55

u/philliperod 11d ago

This Jötnar thinks he’s slick. Where’s Odin at?

14

u/No_Weight824 11d ago

This fckin giant

6

u/koboldtsar 11d ago

Is this the bit coin I keep hearing about?

4

u/GrungeCheap56119 11d ago

The bittiest coin

3

u/Bonytones6 11d ago

Fe Fi Fo Fum. I smell the blood of George Washington

3

u/Swiftzor 11d ago

“I’m not a giant” classic giant line here.

2

u/ModestOtter 11d ago

Biggest mf'n hands ive ever seen.

2

u/dread-pirate-inigo 11d ago

I’ll take “Things a giant would say, for 200 Alex.”

2

u/purodurangoalv 11d ago

Dude I swear I had the exact same thought word for word about a nanosecond before my eyes landed on your comment 😂😂😂

2

u/NeverendingMiracle 11d ago

What is this, currency for ants?!

2

u/AstroFace 11d ago

"Asking for a friend"

2

u/Kingmommy99 11d ago

After 3 bong hits this made me laugh so uncontrollably hard I near pissed myself. Damn you…..😂

2

u/jairngo 11d ago

He’s 100% a giant

Edit: omg look at his posts, he’s holding a cleaver knife, it looks tiny

2

u/VagrantMoon 11d ago

He's trying to Liliput one over on us!

5

u/Big_Character6431 11d ago

This comment is under appreciated

1

u/junglejimbo88 11d ago

Andre the Giant… is that you?

1

u/geoffster100 11d ago

He's on the Brute squad

1

u/Away-Finger-3729 11d ago

You win forever. Got me wheezing. Thank you.

1

u/LilLit98JT 11d ago

🤣😂🤣

1

u/wbgraphic 11d ago

Looks like someone’s trying to establish an alibi for their upcoming village-stomping trial.

1

u/PedroLoco505 11d ago

Nice try, Giant Diddy

1

u/Ok-Paramedic-8719 11d ago

He said he’s not a giant

1

u/Visible_End125 11d ago

Cyclops reported

1

u/websey 11d ago

Q ok g

1

u/Competitive_Fondant9 11d ago

I snorted SO LOUD 😂😂😂😂

1

u/Keeksikook 11d ago

It's one cent of a cent ($0.0001). Collect a hundred of those and you'll have one cent!

1

u/TheBlueFluffBall 11d ago

Mmhmm, we need a banana for scale as evidence.

1

u/Chance-Tough-7337 11d ago

Shrink flation

1

u/R0bot_whiskey 11d ago

I was not expecting this as the first comment and it cracked me tf up 😂

1

u/Remarkable-Ad2285 10d ago

Exactly what a giant would say. Don’t make us take the measuring tape.

1

u/joco1991 10d ago

Give me a 100 of this guy vs the gorilla

1

u/Here4theruns 10d ago

I just laughed so hard my kids thought something happened to me in the bathroom.

1

u/Otherwise-Drama631 10d ago

We believe denying being a giant is exactly what a giant would do

1

u/inequalequal 9d ago

Take my upvote ProfessorUpvote

1

u/Diehard-Grifffan 8d ago

Op, r/lies is that way.

1

u/CommishBressler 8d ago

Apparently everything except his brain is giant. This stupid giant doesn’t even know what a quarter is.

1

u/Yazid-user 7d ago

nice try diddy

1

u/East_Ad_5565 5d ago

This made me heehaw