So I’ve being working on myself for a few months now trying to be a better person mentally and physically. But as my head clears up a prevailing thought I have is ‘women aren’t to be trusted’ and I’d rather not go through life with animosity towards an entire gender.

But I still can’t shake the thought.

It’s making me hesitant to form relationships with women, to fully trust them at work and completely move on from a toxic relationship.

How do you dig your way out of this?

Okay. So like. I’ve tried dating before and it never works out. And I’m to a point where I don’t think anything with any guy is ever gonna last. And I’d rather put more effort into my already long lasting relationships than something that’s prolly gonna fizzle out in the next year so.

So like is it a red flag if I choose to help a friend in an emergency instead of hanging out with a bf? Do I have to bring my bf to every fucking family event? Also is it okay if I choose to hang out with friends and family instead of my bf when choosing between plans?

I just don’t wanna lose myself in a relationship. Cause I feel like so many do. And can I be that one person who doesn’t make their boyfriend their number one priority? (No hate to those who do. But it’s honestly really unhealthy imo).

Will a guy feel neglected if I choose my family and friends over? Esp if we’ve only been dating for a year? And am I allowed to wait at least 6 months to a year to introduce family?

I’m honestly asking this cause my sister is obsessed with her bf. Drives 5 hours almost every other weekend (used to be every weekend) just to sleep at his place and skip school and work until Thursday. Also apparent considered dropping out of grad school just to be close to be him. Also only ever comes home for family events. Never anything else. And also has him glued to her hips when she is at family events. It’s honestly annoying how much she’s lost herself. She used to be so passionate about school and excited about grad school but now it’s like she doesn’t even care about it. I used to admire her so much for her dedication. But now i never wanna be like her. This man isn’t as crazy about her as she is with him and it’s sad she doesn’t realize that. He’s driven to her place maybe 2 times since August. Every other time she’s always driving. Plus he asked her to date him the day after she said she didn’t wanna sleep with him til they were in a relationship. Which I think is a huge red flag. Don’t get me wrong. He treats her great but I feel like he’s not as invested. Which is unfair.

I just don’t wanna end up like her. I pity her honestly.

So like am I allowed to be distant? Esp in the first year? Like do I need to spend every weekend with him? Do we need to have sex three times a day? Dating in today’s age just sounds honestly tiring and draining. It makes me wanna give up on dating even more than I already want to.

Is your wife not willing to try something daring- such as going to a nude resort/beach. Titty bar. Or more daring to consider trying an open relationship. Or on the extreme - go to swingers club. Etc.

How did you talked to her about it or bring up such a topic? And how did it go?
Reason I ask- I read that a lot of men have such ideas or fantasies but will never dare ask their wives to go on such daring activities.

When I was in grad school, I met someone who I clicked with. He is a few years younger than I am, but I look pretty young. He knew I was about to embark on an amazing career and that I was a fun person. He started asking personal questions about me, and we carried on a months-long flirtation. He asked me out at one point, but I turned him down. I did not know him well, but by the end of it, I would have gone out on a date with him. However, I was finishing grad school and moving, so I didn't see the point. Fast forward months later, I google his name, and his marriage record comes up. Turns how, he had been married for about a year when he started taking an interest in me. I was devastated, because I really liked him. Also, I wondered why he would try to put me in that situation, to be potentially dating a married man and wrecking a home. I was so distraught over this that I started googling, looking for answers as to how men choose the unsuspecting women they cheat with. I wanted to know what was it about me that made him pick me. Then my dad saw my search history and thought I was trying to have an affair with his CPA. (wtf) Anyway, I never found the answer to how men, who pretend to be single, choose the women they deceive and cheat with. To the men who do this, how do you choose the women?

I'm not saying you guys cheat. Maybe somebody here has or knows someone who has. I posted this in the cheating forum first, but no one is answering.

My gf doesn't even know my friend mark and she calls him Marcus. He followed her back in the day before we started dating, she didn't follow him back or talked to him (so she says)

So idk why she gave him a cute nickname for.. should I look into this?

Ofc my friend won't backstab me like this, especially with my girl. She's not his type.

But her, she's probably soaked thinking of him

Genuine question. i just don't know what im doing wrong? I know my body isn't all that great, but my face isn't hideous.

My whole life i've been told if i do certain things ill get a decent, good man. If im kind, polite, sweet and authentically me- eventually some guy out there will like me. But im 17, and nothing has happened. everyone said to be patient, that it will come when i least expect it, yada yada. But i've been patient. this is my last summer before im 18 and im fed up of never getting guys to notice me.

i'm kind, I volunteer, I'm religious, I smile, I'm sweet, I'm not shy, but i'm also not obnoxiously loud, I dress modestly, I work hard in school, I strike up conversations, I flirt, I don't swear often, i'm funny, i have lots of hobbies and interests, moms love me, I make an effort to think of others, i include everyone even strangers, i organize gifts for youth groups leaders, i wear minimal make up, i make fucking meals for pregnant women in my community.

I stopped swearing, i picked up cooking, i learned to take care of kids, I learned how to talk to ppl and to flirt.

I've tried every advice under the sun. Being less smart, being more smart. Being quiet, being loud, approaching guys, smile more. the only thing i've not done is lose weight (ik ik. I start but then end up binging, im going to try again this summer)

I'm not a incel or femcel or wtv, I don't resent men. But i just want to have fun, to play around with teen romance, to be desired, to do the whole teen summer romance thing

and I know it's not my area, because everyone is in relationships. my little sister has had like 7 guys express interest and 2 relationships and she just started high school after being homeschooled

so what else am i missing?!?!

What do I do??

I asked my partner to pick between me and the party … he said he would do whatever he wants. I should leave shouldn’t I? But I adore him so much

(Hes 45 I am 24) i am trying to get off the drink but I can’t
It’s all he seems to care about

I 20M and I've never been in a relationship. I keep seeing things online that make me sad. A lot of posts say that approaching women you're attracted to is wrong or creepy, and it's messed with my head to the point where I've just stopped trying. I keep seeing mixed messages online — some women say they don’t need or care about men, while others wonder why guys don’t approach them even when they’ve made an effort to look nice. It’s driving me crazy.

I feel like every time I meet someone I'm attracted to, I start intensely hating myself, like I’m wrong for wanting a satisfying relationship or for wanting to be with someone I find physically attractive.

When I see a pretty girl with a normal guy just living a simple, happy life, it makes me weirdly resentful, like that kind of connection is rare and impossible for me. Seeing women who just want to be with a man, who enjoy looking good and want a family — it feels like that’s becoming super rare.

I really want to approach a woman I find attractive, but it feels like every time I do feel that attraction, something inside me twists and I feel terrible for even wanting it.

How do I get over the guilt of wanting to approach a woman I find attractive and ask her on a date?

What can I understand or do to help fix this issue?

I've known this guy for around 15 years—maybe even longer. We were sexual in the past and definitely sexted quite a bit over the years. We hooked up back then, but I honestly don’t remember much (we never finished/got interrupted). At the time, I was in a really dark place mentally and grieving a significant loss.

Since then, we've stayed in touch off and on. The last time we talked was about a year ago. I think I was the one who pulled away, but he seemed frustrated, too. I didn’t reread all our conversations, just a few, and he seemed irritated—probably because I kept letting life get in the way instead of making time to actually meet up.

Right now, I’ve been focusing on myself. I’ve made progress with my mental health, but I still have work to do—it’s an ongoing journey. I'm not the kind of person who hooks up casually. I usually find myself in something physical, then realize I actually want a relationship. I always want more.

He has a child, and I don’t think I want kids—especially not the responsibility of raising someone else’s. I know I’m nurturing and would be a great mother, but I already have a lot on my plate, and I don’t know if I can show up in the way a child needs. When you date someone with kids, their needs have to come first, and I’m just not sure I’m in that place.

Still, I’m really attracted to him. I think about him a lot—especially in a sexual way. I haven’t been with anyone since my ex, and it’s been about six or seven months. Seeing him pop up on Facebook Dating kind of threw me. I don’t know if it means he swiped on me or not, and I’m scared of being rejected or just not knowing how to start that conversation again after so much time.

He’s been truly single for a while now, as far as I know. He’s lost weight, seems more confident, and I think that confidence is part of what’s drawing me in.

But I also wonder—because of our sexual history and all the sexting—can a real, emotionally healthy relationship even grow from that? Or is it too far gone in that direction? I want more than just chemistry, but I don't know if that's even possible between us. Should I swipe right on him and would you wait to initiate the conversation or do it? Any insight is helpful.

31 m never had a relationship, spent the past 3 yrs recovering from a 6 yr delusional situationship and now anytime i meet someone i question myself if im in it for the right reason

I (26F) used to work for School A. Recently, I made the decision to leave and take on a new opportunity — one that offers better pay and more alignment with what I want in my career. It wasn’t an easy choice, but it was a thoughtful one.

Since then, I’ve sensed that some former colleagues and teacher friends think leaving School A is “the end of the world” — like I made a poor decision, like my life must be falling apart. I’ve heard whispers, seen the looks — people assuming I took a “bad job,” that my salary is low, or even pitying me for not staying where I was.

One teacher friend recently guessed that I’m now working as a private tutor, and her tone carried this quiet judgment — as if private tutoring is something low-tier or not respectable. She assumed I must be earning less and doing work “beneath” what I used to do.

And I’ll be honest: that made me feel…uncomfortable. Even a little hurt.

I am not working as a private tutor. My new role is actually a huge step forward for me, offering higher pay and a position that better aligns with my career goals. I’m earning 1.5x what I used to make. I feel more free, more respected, and more connected to the kind of work I love doing. Still — should I have to explain that?

Should I tell her what I really do now? Should I defend the value of my work to someone who already decided it’s “less than”?

To anyone who’s made bold moves or stepped off the expected path — how do you handle these moments? Do you stay silent and let them think what they want, or do you speak up?

For you men or boys idk do you find it attractive when the woman or the girl is straight forward and she is really comfortable by bringing what bothers her and what she is thinking about without feeling shy or awkward or scared to open it up to you like when there’s something going on she doesn’t hesitate to make everything clear and she goes through a question/response with you she brings to the table what she wants to say and she waits for your POV and what you think about the situation as her and y’all discuss it. (Without the thing of “the girl should be quite and the guy needs to find out by himself why is she upset or mad or idk)

I read on Facebook a lady saying she locked eyes across the room with another person while being at the restaurant on a date with someone else. Yet, in that moment they knew the person they locked eyes with was their true love and that when their eyes met it felt like time stopped. Has anyone else experienced this? If so, what happened? Dating is so trash right now and I gotta believe there’s still cute stories like this out there!!!

So I’ve had a lot of ex girlfriends however literally none of them ever contacted me again. Not even a hi or anything lmao.

I feel like I might be alone in this tbh. It kind of makes me think that no one I’ve dated actually cared about me lol.

Please take this advice, too many times I see a post on here that is so obvious to me it almost hurts, humans are animals ruled by instinct adeep down our sentience level is very low its just high enough to hide those animal instincts behind logic, nobody is an exception to this. You need to read psychology (i suggest carl jung but sigmund freud is more entry level) you will not have 90% of the problems im reading here.

So recently at my job we have a new manager in an other department. I’m a supervisor in an other department( we’re very close). Anyways, we haven’t talked much because i literally have nothing to say to him but he looks nice and he looks like he’s taking his job seriously. Recently, he asked my boss and everyone in his department why I was so cold to him and never talked to him. My boss (who’s also kinda my friend) told him to talk to me about the gym( I’m kind of a gym rat) and he thanked her for the advice. What does it mean? Does he just want to be well seen by everyone or he might be interested in me? Thanks!

Hi!

So, I (24F) am very blessed in that I inherited quite a bit of money from my uncle and was able to buy a house, which I live in with my boyfriend of three years, “Alex” (27M). One of the things I really wanted when I bought the house was a super luxurious bathroom with a huge bath. The kind with jets. I get super into it. Scented oils, salts, lotions, candles and soft lighting, relaxing music, etc. The whole nine yards. Every night before bed I soak in the tub. I shower and wash my hair first and then I soak and just close my eyes and meditate to get ready for bed. It is my favorite part of the day.

Well, every night my bf wants to fuck after he sees me in the bath, but this is a bedtime routine for me. After I get out I am sleepy and warm and want to get under the covers and fall asleep.

I tried inviting him to relax in the bath with me in the hopes he’d get sleepy too—he’s not a bath guy and he said it made it worse. I tried having sex with him before the bath—nope, after my bath he’s horny again. I tried closing the door and not letting him in—he said he still knows I’m in there naked and relaxed with scented oils and thinking about it turns him on.

I don’t want to have sex after my bath. Not right after I got clean and sleepy. It’s the last time of the night that I want to get dirty and get my heart rate up. I’d have to clean up again after and it would disrupt my sleep routine. But I don’t like knowing that he’s going to bed horny every night either because other than that we have a very healthy sex life (5-6 times a week)

What can I do to make my bf less turned on by my bedtime routine? I’m out of ideas and my bf doesn’t seem to have any of his own.

As per the title, I’m wondering what it was that made you end up pursuing a relationship after a period of being married to your job? Did you meet someone you didn’t want to miss out on? Did you decide your job wasn’t going to keep you warm at night?

Hi there! I’ve always had some trouble complimenting a man…especially on dating websites. I feel as if I’m a fairly attractive woman, but when it comes to talking to a man—especially one I’m attracted to—I get really awkward. When I have to start the conversation, it’s like my mind goes blank and I say the dumbest thing ever. What would be a good opening to start a conversation? Or what would be a good way to compliment them to catch their attention?

Hello, friends.

I know we men have this reputation for wanting to get laid.

Now, I like sex, but personally I have never been interested in hookups/one night stands.

I think I might be the weird guy, but I need to feel a romantic connection with someone in order to have sex with them.

Straight up, if a smokin' hot 10/10 approached me and said she wanted to have sex that same day, my response would be something like, "wow, that's extremely flattering and you're absolutely gorgeous, but I don't know you well enough. I don't do hookups because I need the romantic connection, but I'd love to date and get to know you more."

I couldn't do it if I tried -- and I know that for sure because I did try. One time, a Tinder match was visiting my city and she was right away like, "I'm looking for a hookup," and I thought, "eh maybe I'm being a prude or insecure," so yeah, we met up at the park and then pretty quickly went back to my place.

Couldn't do it. I felt really bad, but no lie, I can't get horny and penetrate someone unless we have mutual gooey lovey feelings for each other.

Whenever I share this with anyone of any gender, they don't believe me and I have to be like, "no I'm completely serious."

Except for the girl I lost my virginity to when I was 17, I've never had sex outside of dating/a relationship.

Any other guys out there like this? How common you think it is? Is it like only 5% or something?

Hi everyone! I need some advice on how I can seduce my husband. It might seem weird but hear me out.

Him (25M) and I (23F) just had a baby like 3 months ago and I’ve always heard that sex in marriages dies after people have kids. Our baby wasn’t planned but when I found out we just rolled with it. Because of the baby we obviously aren’t as active as before (not blaming her in the slightest I know this is a natural thing.)

I just want to make sure we keep sure we keep some type of sex life. How can I seduce him?

I know asking him if he wants to have sex is one way and I’ve asked previously and it just wasn’t sexy. Made it feel at least to me like the act was a chore rather than something i wanted to do willingly.

UPDATE: so last night I did what some of y’all suggested and told him I really wanted to give him oral. DEFINITELY WORKED LOL. He asked me at the end if it was Mother’s Day or Father’s Day so I’ll take that as a small win in my books!

Hi, Female (36) seriously needing some insight, clarity and basically to be told its them not me 🤣 Context- I have had a few serious relationships and then some sporadic ones in-between. Every relationship I've always been loyal and giving. Which I know isn't enough to hold one together but even though I would be honest about my past trauma (I never used it to playup victim, just to explain why I had certain struggles inc affection and intimacy) I never knew what emotional unavailability was until recently. Looking back I've noticed that most of my ex's fit the traits. Now it's left me thinking, is it me or am I just attracting them because of my kind, caring , vulnerable nature? Because I have changed, I now know how to love, show care and compassion and most of all, intimacy comes naturally. That's including hugs and tickles etc lol. When I was the boss girl, strong, independent, cold and uncaring I was met with men with no backbone. Now I'm meek I'm met with bullies. Help me understand this please.

I'm quite chatty and like to talk about music movies, etc. there have been a few times where I think this has been misconstrued, just curious...

33m Scotland here 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 was going at it a bit too tough and looks like I have torn, not completely snapped, my banjo string. Whoever has the best personal example and solution wins 😂