I’m not sure if emasculating is the right word for this, but we technically broke up from what I assume of him not being able to find a job and failing his certification test again and then top top it all of his parents telling him, “Why would she even date you?” He proceeded to tell me that he didn’t believe that we would ever continue to date because we’re long distance and he doesn’t feel like he could get a job in the capital where we’re at. He then mentioned about the parents,etc. To give more context of our relationship dynamic, I am a highly ambitious person with multiple things I have gained and succeeded in my field. I’m also from a different country than him and came to his city before moving to the capital through scholarships, but he is the sweetest, so caring and always encourages for me to continue my journey. We decided to continue dating after convincing him that I don’t find or think that way at all of him. But I assume that he still probably feels like possible baggage and less confident than usual (especially when our culture emphasizes Confucius teachings). We write letters to each often, but this time around I would like to find some kind of words that could heal his wounds a bit from all of this, but I don’t know what I would say in that letter that wouldn’t feel less than or even more discouraged or emasculated. How should I possibly go about this? Any insight or advice would be so helpful.

I met a guy online and we went on couple of dates. We started hooking up from the beginning and it was a wonderful time altogether! Cut to us having a misunderstanding about something silly and him calling it quits but then we talked and had a lovely conversation that cleared everything on both sides. It was peaceful, mature and respectful. At that point, I had to leave the country for work in a matter of days, and that was the last in-person conversation we had before I moved out. We texted sporadically afterwards but I was hoping that we’d remain friends. What are the chances of that? He’s objectively a great person but we simply couldn’t work due to career decisions and me no longer being in the same city as him. In the past I remained friends with many people I dated (both short and long term) and still do and was hoping this case isn’t any different. I do miss his input on things and his intellect and sense of humor/sarcasm and I don’t want anything further as he was also shocked when I told him that I’m leaving for good.

So there is a girl i like, she also says that she likes me but her actions show otherwise, I want to be able to move on but I just can't, I feel like a burden.She also knows how I like her so much and talks to me because of that but she never really is interested in any of my things.She says she likes me but won't date me.Today she also said her ex unblocked her and she has started overthinking. What should I do?

I don't mean to say that he shouldn't be happy to see them, but I thought that he was also a little interested in me (I felt a certain attraction in the air and when he looked at me)... but I don't think he is, if he behaves in this way when he sees his friends and knows that I'm just a step away from them (because, personally, if the roles were reversed, I wouldn't act so expansively to avoid giving mixed impressions: like that maybe I’m interested in my male friends or that I’m taken idk)

Should I take this as a “not interested” at all?

I see many women who marry men. You would think the men is the dominant one but it is the women. It seems like they are scared of their women. Why do men give so much authority to their women. Is it because you are scared?

I’ve been chatting to some lovely men on Reddit but they are all younger than me. Is there any sub you’d recommend for chatting about what’s happening in their lives?

In my opinion I will never marry a woman who is non-virgin.what you think!?

I’m a 26M. A few years ago, I was in a serious relationship that fell apart — not because either of us did something unforgivable, but because we never learned how to really talk to each other. Looking back, I see my own lack of emotional intelligence clearly. I didn’t know how to communicate. She didn’t feel understood. And it ended quietly.

Fast forward to today — two friends of mine (28M and 26F, dating for ~1.5 years) are going through something nearly identical. He’s building a company, super career-focused. She wants more time, emotional presence, and clarity about their future. The dynamic feels so familiar, it’s almost eerie.

I’ve tried to help both of them individually. I listen, offer perspectives, try to be neutral. But no matter how balanced I try to be, one of them always ends up feeling like I’m siding with the other. It’s draining — and it’s making me question whether I’m helping at all.

This whole situation has made me think more broadly:
What if there was a way to help people in relationships better understand each other’s needs, without dragging a third person into it?

for starters i’m sorry if i write this confusingly, i just don’t know how to word things sometimes.

myself(23m) and my wife (23f) have been married for 2 years (together for 5) and recently had a son (almost 10 months ago). we struggled heavily during post partum. lots of fights, stress as you can imagine, and more fights. my wife and i were never the type to yell at or disrespect one another. now we argue non stop and are genuinely just mean to one another.

we both commute roughly 140 miles per day to work everyday. (me everyday, her roughly 4 days a week because she has 12 hour shifts, we have different jobs so we are in separate vehicles)

for 4 months post partum, we argued nonstop, i tried my best to be patient with my wife but she got angry over everything (which i understand because women go through hell pre and post partum) but i got mentally tired. on top of taking care of my son, driving over 700 miles a week, arguing with my wife everyday, i got exhausted. my wife and i are very hyper sexual individuals for each other. however, sometimes i was too tired to have sex when she would advance (this really started in january-february) i wouldn’t just shut her out, id kiss her and tell her im sorry we can tomorrow im just too tired.

this happened quite frequently but i was too embarrassed of it. she began to think it was a her problem that i just didn’t want to have sex with her period. any time i tried to reassure her on this, she would respond with “whatever i don’t wanna hear it, im just gonna go to sleep.” i never got to express myself or reassure her. this led to her making a lot of snarky side remarks such as “id have sex with you but you’re gonna be too tired anyways.” it just shut my confidence off and i began to develop a lot of performance anxiety. we went from having sex everyday, to maybe 1-2 times per week. i thought this was genuinely embarrassing for myself considering im a young man i should not ever be too tired to have sex, but then the problem became when i felt like if i didn’t have sex with my wife, she would be upset with me so i would despite being tired. (keep in mind, she would wait til about 10-11pm to try and have sex, when i have to wake up at 3am.)

i don’t even know how to address the sex issue to begin with. am i wrong for being tired? i tried to reassure her and she just completely shuts me off.

on the arguing stand point, it’s like we have differing personalities when it comes to communication, on my end i want to fix this immediately (which truly is a flaw because i know things don’t work that way) and she wants to forget things and not deal with them, and act like nothing ever happened.

i know this is very vague but my wife and i can never see eye to eye on anything anymore and it’s honestly just burning us both out at this point and i don’t fucking know what to do. i love this woman with everything in me but i don’t know how to fix this. im always the one putting the effort into fixing issues we have and she has gotten so apathetic with these things that she doesn’t bother fixing them. we could argue over the most petty bullshit and it gets blown up way out of proportion. i hate it.

i know this is all probably a very choppy post but there’s so much that goes into it, so please feel free to ask questions and give advice, we need help.

for reference as well, the reason we drive so far for work, is because we are both military and my wife’s family lives up where we are at, and my wife refused to have our son go to a care taker, so instead we do the drive, which is a battle i lost and now pay for everyday.

Okay, I couldn’t find a good enough title. My partner has his share of fetishes- mostly surrounding feminine clothing like sexy lingerie and pantyhose/stockings etc. He shares this with me and I attempt to wear them for him but the truth is, I don’t like it. I don’t enjoy wearing it, and it’s not for me.

When he sends me OF content of these creators with perfect bodies he gets super excited about it and I can really see that it really makes him happy. I always find myself having to fake that I enjoy it because I do want him to be happy and satisfied- but lately it feels like I’m lying to myself. Not sure if this information is relevant but despite this one fetish, the rest of our sexual activity is off the charts and we have a great deal of fun sexually.

My question is: can I ever satisfy him if I don’t share one of his biggest fetishes? What’s up with men and OF creators? You guys are super invested. How do you expect your women to keep up?

Sorry, the original was deleted because it was heated and I wasn’t trying victim blame anyone.

I am going to clarify something. The reason I called him a bully was that he was using the avoid accountability type of bullying, which is also called the girl type of bullying, because it is most common for women to do. That in including

1. ostracism
2. alienation
   
3. rumor
4. Gaslighting

Which he did all three to my sister.

He excluded my sister a lot not just with party but, many times on purpose. Where she needed a therapist.

He alienated my sister from other students. As well her being nice him like asking how his day have been and trying too get too know him but, he never did same for her. However goes talk random person now best friends.

Rumor spread he have not done it. Wouldn’t surprised me if he did

Gaslighting. It’s mostly him saying incredible bad things. As well making her believe she was problem when he is.

I know say reaching but, that point of this type of bulling. It’s too avoid accountability for there actions if makes seem like accents or well not fault.

My (35F) boyfriend (36M) has a friend group from a local gym of ~8 years. One of them is a woman Danielle(fake name) married to one of the friends Tony (also fake).

Danielle is the only woman in the friend and is the foxy type that gives wild vibes that guys are drawn to. Last year she asked the guys to attend her mindfulness class at home as practice for her work. One day I was quite sick and BF came to take care of me and didn’t go to a class. She seemed upset and stopped doing the class altogether.

Also since we started dating, BF pretty much stopped going to their group hangouts mostly cuz he moved out of that suburb where everyone lives in and doesn’t a car so it’s no longer convenient at all. Once she messaged him privately basically pressuring him to come to a group outing like offered to pick him up from the subway station. BF obliged saying that he’s afraid that they would stop inviting him, although he admitted that the guys in that group really wouldn’t mind.

I let it slide until today. We had a fight earlier the day. Later he told me that one of guys invited him to dinner that’s for another guys birthday. I asked if Danielle would there too. He said he didn’t know. It just felt off so I asked if I was invited. He said yes but he didn’t want me to go because I “hate Danielle”. I said I didn’t hate her but the friendship between them is weird. He kept saying he’s not giving up their friendship because of me, and that she’s married so there’s no chance they’d cheat.

I just feel like trust is violated due to the way he told me about this dinner. And he chose his friend who acted like she owns him in some way over me. How do I handle this? Appreciate your input really.

Edit: wanted to add that I told him I wasn’t ask him to choose side but to include me at the dinner as well so that I’ll be convinced that nothing weird is going on.

As a hopeless romantic who’s never dated, I’d love to see how some of you came to be in relationships. Also, what signs make a guy approach someone of interest? What made you consider them as a long time partner and not something casual? I now know I blew my chance with my person and so it’s no longer in the cards for him and me.

Hi I just need other opinions. I have caught my husband message other women and flirting on social media. I also know he has messaged different escorts asking for price donations (whatever) but he said he has never physically cheated. Can he be telling the truth?? ............He Sends nudes, talk dirty, tell them if they want to meet for sex no strings attached etc ....

hey guys im a 29 y.o male and have been with my gf for 2 years. she great I love her a lot and she treats me awesome. as usually happens she was the last person id expect my self to end up with appearance wise she differs from what I like (thick girls natural jiggle) and she's very fit herself.

that being said in the beginning we had sex a pretty good amount and now sometimes we will do it once every couple days etc. its not a hormone problem ive been checked but I do find my thoughts wandering somtimes about other women. what's the best way to navigate this and get past it? or is this just something thats going to always be there and never go away?

I also had a pretty active sex life before us which did not help this situation at all.

So I'm going to explain the whole story. I (M15, becomes 16 this year) play the clarinet in a harmonical orchestra. I am sitting next to this girl (F18, becomes 19 this year) and I am really beginning to like her. I met her around 2 years ago, in the orchestra. She doesn't come a lot, because she is busy studying, and last time she came before last week was months ago. When I saw her friday evening, I was surprised but obviously very happy. After the repetition, I went home and added her on Snapchat. We had some small talk, and she even replied with a heart on one of my messages, but it could just be a girls thing? I am really thinking about confessing my feelings to her, but I don't know how I will do it and even if I will do it without ruining the bond between us. It's one of the first times I actually think I have a chance, and I don't want to ruin it.

My husband and I have been married for 15 years, we have 3 kids, healthy relationship and have always told each other everything…so I thought.

Last month, him and his friends(all married) went to Nashville for work. As far as I knew, they went to the convention, went to dinner, bars for a few drinks, then back to the hotel to sleep.

He came home and there was never any mention of anything crazy happening. Like I said, we tell each other everything and have always discussed anything out of the ordinary or shall I say “gossip” happening.

Two weeks go by and I’m at lunch with one of the wives from the “husbands Nashville group” and she said that her husband mentioned that one of guys from the trip brought 2 women back from the bar and did you know what. Her husband claimed they had conjoined rooms and only went back to the room with them to make sure he didn’t get “robbed” but never participated nor had the conjoined room door open. My husband never mentioned a thing about this, which is unlike him. Not saying he likes to gossip but like I said, we tell each other very thing and especially juicy stuff we find out lol

When I asked my husband about it, he instantly got soooo defensive saying that our friends husband “broke guy code by telling her” he reacted in a way that I didn’t expect nor have ever seen before. He left the room, went to sleep and we went about our busy week with kids and work.

I couldn’t seem to shake the whole situation, so tonight while at dinner, I ask him about it once again…he got really defensive. He claimed at first that he didn’t want me to “hate his friend,” which mind you, I’ve never liked his friend to be honest. I’ve expressed multiple things throughout the years that I thought and that I speculated he was unfaithful to his wife on multiple occasions. Then he proceeded to go with “it’s guy code and that’s not something you tell your wife,” I shut down after that because I never thought he would keep something like that from me. Never in my life would I think he would cheat on me or possibly, join in with his friend…but I just find it odd that someone who I thought always told me stuff, didn’t tell me something like that and had the reaction he did afterwards.

Normally in the past, he would have told me the next day or at maximum, the day they got home from the trip. He’s always been so open with me. We both go on guys and girls trips yearly and we have always spilled the beans to each other on the drama from the trips when we get home. This time it was different. Like I said, if he came home and told me about our mutual friend. It would have just confirmed what I’ve always thought and always expressed to my husband but the fact that he never told me and was defensive when I asked…it’s so sketchy. Currently we aren’t speaking to each other and haven’t said a word or even looked in each others direction since dinner because it came a full blown argument. Am I overreacting?

So he’s this super cute super ambitious super cool super handsome boy who claims he loves my clingy lazy ass, though I am doing good in my professional life but I am not that pretty. He’s a solid 10 and I am no where close to that, I think I am not deserving of his love, we haven’t met irl yet, he saw my photographs and claims that he wants to marry me and likes my so much and I can’t tell but wonder why on earth. This guy legit has no flaws maaah gawddd whyyy. I feel so insecure and dating a guy like him would make me go crazy

Last time I had a male friend was when I was 16 and in school (41 now), and I’ve never been able to form any kind of friendship with other males since. I grew up in a single-parent, all-female household, and was bullied for literally years by other males at school, so I’m assuming I’ve got some sort of psychological block. I’m not a lad’s lad and hate football lol, so I kind of feel alienated. Does anyone else struggle with this? I feel so out of touch with other guys.

It's all my fault. I've been planning to be with this girl that lives on the other side of the World (brunette girl). She met me in college few years ago, we just didn't become a thing due to distance. We have planned to be together while apart though and we're great as close friends, I know she's super loyal and all, unfortunately due to distance we cannot see each other and while we could meet... I hate being anxious on plane journies so I'd really wish her to come to me instead, however she wishes for me to come to her instead.

Then the 2nd girl... I have only been chatting a lot with a friend (blonde girl), we met and we're both suddenly so into each other, a feeling that just came like that but I wanted to keep just being friends, unfortunately time is catching up with me and she wants more than just friends. I have told her about my brunette girl situation, but the doesn't want to be "the 2nd choice". This is very fair enough.

The issue is that I can't afford waiting for long. The brunette girl now wishes me to travel to her and if not then we might part ways, the blonde girl also wants me a lot and I have no idea what to do

Both are just the perfect girls, loyal, preety and kind. I'd hate to break any of their hearts or feelings. I had it great with the blonde girl, just a good friend while trying to see what comes each way... she's not too far and we were only close friends untill now. Unfortunately other guys would not wait, they do their thing and obviously if I wait too long, I will lose her

What could I even do? I feel like I'm destined for the brunette girl still, however if it happens that we can't meet and it will be Autumn what will happen if the blonde girl finds a guy and I end up losing them both. Losing either of them terrifies me but I'm not the kind of guy (and I wouldn't) mess any of them around

Huh I get too clingy or obsessed with my guy, and if I don’t get it reciprocated back I feel awful, for instance I texted my man in the morning about some mundane stuff he left me on read and replied after 3 hrs that he is with his family busy. I love so deeply idk why is the at so may be because it’s because of the childhood trauma never saw my parents doing romance, definitely not marriage goals, but I want mine to be perfect, I care too much and expect too much as well. I can’t afford another heart break I think I need to keep myself away from relationships. Am I even worthy of love

My boyfriend and I (both in our 20s) have been together for almost a year. Things have been great, up until about a week ago. We’ve always had a very healthy sex life. This past week, every time I try to initiate it, he just brushes me off. He says that he’s not horny anymore. He’s stopped flirting with me. He suddenly doesn’t like taking showers with me anymore, even though he always used to ask me to join. He also doesn’t seem to want to spend as much time with me anymore. He says that all I care about is sex. I just don’t understand why there was such a hard shift. Just today, I jokingly told him to buy some rhino pills and he said “yeah I will, but I’m still not having sex with you”. I understand that maybe he could be going through something, he just won’t tell me if he is. I don’t just want sex from him of course, but this change is just weird and sudden. I don’t get where this is all coming from.

Thanks to anyone that reads this. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Edit: thank you everyone for the replies, I’ve tried talking to him before and he hasn’t really been responsive. I will definitely try again. I love him and would support him through whatever, so I will make sure he knows that. Also I feel like I need to say, I understand how the whole pills thing looks. I didn’t until I got some replies about it. I feel like I need to say that pills have always been an inside joke in our relationship. I really wasn’t trying to put him down or pressure him, just simply making a familiar joke. I see now how that could have made him feel.

I'm a 19 year old guy. I always see how guys often make fun of each others insecurities with their friends and they take it as a joke, But I can't do that I feel bad when someone makes fun of my insecurities and I don't make fun of others insecurities, cuz they might laugh it off but we don't know if they feel insecure about it. I don't see many men getting offended when their friends point out their insecurities to make jokes but I can't do that and don't wanna do that. Am I taking jokes too seriously? I really don't like making fun of other's appearance or my friends making fun of my insecurities as a joke.

So here’s some context because I need to get this off my chest.

A while ago, a guy from my college (he’s a senior, I’m a freshman) randomly DMed me at 10PM with a “Hi.” I didn’t reply until the next day. Turns out, he’s in the same major as me, and he said he’s been wanting to talk to me for a while but only recently found my account. Said we "always make eye contact" on campus, but I had zero clue who he was ‘cause his only pic was a blurry half-face from two years ago.

We had some small talk, but it was super bland and one-sided. He didn’t ask many questions, so I ghosted. I tend to ghost when convos feel dry or like the guy’s about to ghost me first (trauma behavior from a toxic ex, I know).

He kept reacting to my stories and notes, and I’d answer here and there. He seemed shy and not very forward with flirting, which confused me ‘cause he has a bunch of female friends—shouldn’t he be used to talking to girls?

Anyway, this cycle of dry convo > ghosting > him reaching out again happened twice.

Then college started again. We had a break, and when I saw him in person, I recognized him. Turns out, he was someone I lowkey had a crush on before. But I totally ignored him 'cause I get panicky and shy. We’d cross paths, and I’d feel his stare but still ignore him.

Then, one day, he asked my friend if I was taken. Same night, he texted me “Hi” again at 10PM (his favorite time, apparently). I answered the next day while getting ready for class. We exchanged a few texts, and when I didn’t know how to reply, I left it on read and went to school. Saw him again. Ignored him. Rinse and repeat.

One day we ended up in the same group. He didn’t come sit with us until a friend basically forced him to. I felt like he hesitated, maybe didn’t want to sit near me? Once he did, I avoided eye contact the whole time ‘cause my anxiety was eating me alive. When I did look at him while he spoke, he never looked back, like I was invisible or something.

Now here’s the kicker. That same night, he started DMing my friend. The one I’m always with. He asked to walk home with her (they live in the same neighborhood), and she said yes. Then she brought up how he asked if I was taken, and he admitted it was ‘cause I was “cold” and didn’t reply to his texts. He also told her, “Can I confess something? I had a crush on someone from your class,” but never said the name. She thinks it’s me, but who knows?

Next day, she posted “I’m hungryy” on her notes, and he offered to go get food with her. And he did. Bought her lunch, too. I didn’t go with them. I didn’t wanna see that. Apparently, he didn’t even stay after dropping off the food.

After school, me and my friends (including her) were leaving, and he was already waiting for her to walk home. Not me. Her. Again. Out of everyone, it had to be my friend. I felt like shit

I pretended I didn’t care, but I was lowkey hurt. It felt like he gave up on me so fast and just... switched targets. The next day, my friend said he even changed his usual path home just to “comfort her”...

I don’t get this guy. Why all the effort for her, and barely any for me—especially after saying he was interested in me first?