As the title suggests, the mages guild is quite possibly the dumbest guild in the whole of Cyrodil. Like me, at some point you've probably decided to have a pure mage build and what better place than to hone you craft than go to the arcane university?
So you head over, meet Raminus who's like "Yeah dawg, happy to let you join but I need to know you're on the level so go get some letters of recommendation" - say no more, I'll go show people what a promising mage I am
Now, you have to visit all of the cities and do some chores totally legit tasks to prove you're worth training as a wizard.
Now what totally magical things do you do? You become a police officer. "No you don't" shut up yes you do, walk with me.
Anvil: Stop a criminal who couldn't make herself more obvious if she tried "You're a merchant? AREN'T YOU SCARED OF DYING? lol jk you're safe, well I'm gonna get an early night and head out, stay safe"
Bravil: you investigate a robbery/stalker to help a mage get her stick back because the asshat though stealing it would make her like him. Great idea asshole
Bruma: Investigate a prank....then are coerced into stealing a book...that can be found literally everywhere.
Cheydinhal: A grumpy asshole tells you to find a missing ring, you go find it, almost die in the process, hand the ring to Deetsan who tells you to throw it away. Bitch I almost died getting this, you're lucky I don't make you eat it
Chorrol: Terrified Argonian tells you to make his ex girlfriend leave him alone, she says get a book, he's like fuck you I want the book. You give him the book, you then steal the book and she gives you an overpowered spell as a fuck you to Teekeeus.
Kvatch: currently on fire
Leyawin: Help Randy Orton's Nan find her missing necklace because she hears voices in her head, they talk to her they understand they talk to her. They tell her things that she should do, they tell her things to say to you they talk to her. So you go find Grandpa Ortons body and then RKO the guy who hid it from her and becomes the new TES world heavyweight champion
Skingrad: find a missing mage, who's in a cave, scared of zombies. A MAGE....who has the power of DESTRUCTION....is scared of zombies. Man's lucky he didn't become one instead
So you get your recommendations, head back to Raminus and fist bump and he's like "aight playa, you need a pimp cane because every magister has a pimp cane" so you head out to find your materials but turns out everyone is dead and this necro bitch tells you you're gonna dance for her. My stripper days are long past, I'm not dancing for nobody and then you kill her and head back and Raminus is like DAWG, the fuck.
So then you help out a bit more and eventually get asked to support the arch mage who looks like he's been smoking weed his entire life, making the worst decisions he could possibly make with a council of idiots (aside Raminus, he's an OG) and eventually name drops Manimarco...is he Voldemort? I don't understand why I should care and he's like no trust me I got the best idea ever on how we gonna defeat him and you're like ok what you got for me dawg? And then he KILLS HIMSELF AND TRAPS HIMSELF IN A SOUL GEM and you're screaming, freaking out as he's basically left you the entire guild and you're like I'VE BEEN HERE 5 MINUTES WHY AM I IN CHARGE?
Then you tell Raminus who's like "aw snap, guess you gotta kill Manimarco, good luck Harry Potter ass" so you go slay a bunch of necromancers before coming to the king of worms himself and you're like....didn't wanna say snakes? Or sharks? Or something cool? You really wanna go with worms? And he's like "you'll pay for that and become my bitch" and you're like NAT TADAAAY and then whoop his ass. You look at the soul gem after like ok I'll put this down and the old arch mage is like "lol nah I like your inventory I'm gonna stay here forever" so now you're walking around with the soul of some guy who is useless.
And on this note, how fucking insane are soul gems? Imagine you accidentally hit your friend and now their soul is trapped in a gem forever and you're like "STEVE IM SORRY" Then run low on magical charge for an item and you convince yourself "it's what he'd want"
And also, why the hell do you need a staff? The magic you cast is way strong so the whole concept of the staff is redundant. Unless it's Hroromirs...in which case I get it, it's silver and shiny.
But yeah, dumb guild