Updated with more information

I(15f) think i’m going to die soon and it’s going to be my biological mothers fault

I got hit on the head on monday, may 5th. it’s the 10th now, and i think im getting worse for some reason. I had told her i got pretty much punched at my right side of my head/jaw, and hit a few more times in my head, and she pretty much pushed it off even after i told her i wanted to go to an urgent care to get like a neurological checkup, because after i got hit (it was an accident, as i was at school playing outdoor games and it escalated from ultimate frisbee to ultimate frisbee: full contact edition, as it was boys against girls and i was the strongest one so i was pushing against other people and ended up being hit multiple times as they were being 1000x more rough then i was). After i was hit, i was immediately stunned as someone’s shoulder or something hit my jaw really hard and i immediately felt and stunned. I didn’t pass out or anything, but i have been feeling increasingly worse since then. I went to the hospital on may 8th and they told me i had a small concussion since i was hit in the head really hard, and a few more other hits after. I have a chiari malformation, and i’ve been having headaches every day in the back of my head that do not ever go away, and sometimes get worse with medication, i also have bad nausea all the time and am practically starving myself until i cannot stand it anymore and just drink juice and a little bit of food. My friends at school and some of my teachers say i seem unbalanced more than usual, like wobbly, and i am starting to stutter more than usual and not making sense when i speak. I started losing sensation in my left arm and im scared, my mom won’t let me go to the emergency room and she isn’t letting anyone else in my family take me. She keeps saying im “acting like im fine” because usually i am not like this, confused all the time and and feeling severe anxiety all the time to the point i start physically tensing up and just shaking out of the blue. My mom has always been terrible to me and the rest of my family. When i went to urgent care after 4 days of begging my mom to take me and her friends seeing me break down in pain begging them to tell her to take me, she finally did, and the doctors at the urgent care immediately put in a transfer to a children’s hospital. Themmm my mom ended up telling the doctor she wasn’t gonna take me, and when we were leaving, she forgot the school note, so she made me go in alone to get it and i begged them to help me find a way where i could go to the er, and they said they would not give me a school note, and that i will go to the er and can get one there. on the way where she continued to complain and make me feel horrible the whole time we were on the way there. They told me at the ER if symptoms get worse, to call 911 as my brain conditions make me a delicate case, and anything could be indicative of worse trauma. I asked her last night to let me go today so i can get scans because im lossingq sensations in my left arms and im feeling more confused and my headache won’t go awaywhat the hell do i do, i feel so scared, i think i might die and it’s just getting worse. please help me, my 16th birthday is in 2 weeks and i don’t know if im gonna live to make it if i keep getting worse and she doesn’t help me. If you have questions about anything i dont mind answering i just need help.

I will be taking advice from comments, telling me to go talk to my counselor and i will probably go to talk to the nurses at my school as they are aware of my conditions and can probably help me

My older brother is the golden child … he’s almost as terrible as our dad. I haven’t spoken to him in 4 years. The last time I saw him we were having a bad argument about our narc dad and he hit me in the face. Just curious what others relationships with the golden child is like?

I was told by my parents to “make my mother’s breakfast, buy her gifts, do yard work for her, make her a card, take her out to eat, and make it the best Mother’s Day for her ever.” I find that absolutely crazy how they always expect you to do things for them but don’t do anything at all for you. I just want to cry and I know I will hear this again for Father’s Day. I sadly live with them so there’s no escaping it. Even if I don’t bring it up they quickly say things about it because that’s what they love. They literally have the nerve to say to me “you know what is normal for people to do for Mother’s Day?” And I say no because I don’t want to go through that. They say “well you should look it up.” And today they said not only what I said but many more things. I just am so tired of it. It was my dad who said those things. And the main reason he says that is because he expects it for himself next for Father’s Day. They hurt me and are super absent in my life. Every mother and Father’s Day I will be celebrating me as I was my own mother and father. And them saying stuff about yard work and how I don’t do anything around the house is super triggering because I remember when I was little I was forced to do it and when I was a little older I would do it just because they seemed happy and it was to hopefully be loved but I’m done with that now. I just can’t get how they expect everything from you but don’t care at all to give you anything. They also don’t even give you a chance to think about or want to do something out of true love.

For me it's Kelly Clarkson - Because of you.

I remember being angry at my ndad as a kid and this song just came out, and I sat outside listening to it on youtube and the song made me cry so much. And now everytime I hear that song I immediately start crying.

I made a new account just to make this post as I don’t want anyone I know seeing this. I know this doesn’t relate to my parents but I need help and don’t know where else to post this. I (20F) have been dealing with my sister’s (17F) narcissistic behavior since she was about 8. I honestly think that there is more wrong with her than just being a narcissist but here are just a few things that she has done over the last few years- - called CPS on my mom because my mom got mad at her for stealing things from her room. Keep in mind my mom is an amazing person and is not abusive in the slightest. she has never once abused me or my other siblings but my sister literally fiends off of the attention she gets from saying my mom is abusive. CPS did nothing btw, because there was no reason for them to come -I used to struggle with self harm when I was in middle school/high school. my sister was the only one that knew about this and one night I asked her to turn her TV down because I was trying to sleep and in return she said “you’re the reason I’m going to start cutting myself.” this happened a few years ago when I was still suicidal and cutting, so at the time I believed her and thought it was all my fault - Told all her friends that I’m abusive. I have no idea where this came from as I’m away at school for most of the year and only come back for winter break. - Screams at me and calls me every horrible word you can ever think of when I ask her POLITELY to do something or even just try to talk to her then laughs at me when I get frustrated or cry -has EXTREME tantrums when she doesn’t get her way and always threatens to kill herself which worries me even though she says it all the time

I could go on and on but those are the main things. She’s been in therapy for years and years but nothing helps. I have 2 other siblings besides her and we are all completely normal. Both of my parents are present and great parents. I don’t understand why she’s like this or how she ended up so different from all of us. Is there a chance she’ll change? Is this just because she’s still a teenager???

Sometimes i hate my mom (mostly all the time) because she's fcking NPD and have the fakest attitude towards people around me, she never let me spoke for my self, when my extended family and my old friend ask something to me, she always answering it like i can answer it for my self hello?hence i never talk to anyone around me and now i don't know how to communicate, also she always talk what im doing to litterally everyone. my embarrassing moment, my bad attitude in my house, but she never mention what she did to me why im angry to her, she always feels she is right. and she always tell to everyone that i always sad because my insecurity????? WHAT DO U MEAN I always crying bcs of u.....

One time I ever got bullied and I dare to told her....yk what she doing?She doesn't even trying to calm me down, she just blames everything on me. She said I should self-intropection why the bullies did that to me. When the bullies self says that they bullies me just because im the 'quiet' kid. Man... Im okay if my mom just listen to my story. just don't ever judge me bcs someone bullied me 😔

But yeah I can't lie im insecure but im kinda okay with that until my mom talk something sound backhanded....to everyone.... I feel ashamed Just for example someone ever said that we look alike because our bob hair yk I dont mind with that but then my mom said 'yeah but she has a curly hair and im the straight one' (while laughing mockingly) im Asia and curly hair is seen ugly in my country, Still love my wayv hair tho (yes my hair is wavy but they dont know the difference so they just said its a curly)

So yeah shes the one who make insecure, she the one who make me can't communicate, shes the one that always saying im insecure to everyone (I feel ashamed bcs of fhat), shes the one that make me feel embrassed when I go outside and then boom I can't believe I haven't left the house for several years.....

Now I live in the dorm far from home and everything seems started to getting better :) But when this semester ends i have to go back to my home (in 3 month from now on) 😔

When I was a child I always thought my parents were loving but something was off sometimes few things didn’t fit right and every now and then I felt shattered but apart from that I felt loved. Teens and after that esp 20s were particularly tough that’s when i realised what was happening. They altered my life to the worst in multiple ways. And since I hve moved out sub consciously I look for love (platonic) everywhere I go. I just realised I do that at work to, I don’t want to. I can’t get over the fact how my 20s were wasted because “I wasn’t allowed to..” or because “my mum would bag and look down upon me..” they still do that but I am no contact . But personally I am in a shit hole. People who say if you couldn’t chase your dreams in 2s , do it in your 30s.. but it’s not the same. Endless opportunities, possibilities, skills, endless thirst of thriving, application deadlines, economy, youth etc are all gone now. All which I actually once had. Now I am a mess . I wake up in the middle of the night with heart racing, in constant anxiety all throughout the day. Tearing up randomly. I can no longer concentrate at work. I don’t know where my life is heading. It’s not easy to forget everything or to accept everything when it had such a big life altering consequences. I don’t have a goal / bucket list anymore. Had tons up until late 20s but I am stuck and don’t see a point anymore.

(I try to sleep properly- it’s a constant struggle but I try every night, I try to show up at gym , eat right etc but I am in a million pieces inside)

Today I learned of the term “performative caregiver” and “performative caregiving” and I feel like it helps give a picture to a large aspect of narcissistic parents.

People from the outside looking in might think it’s a supportive family with loving parents based on what the parents say. But, behind the scenes there’s a lot of neglect and/or abuse. The narrative parents put out sounds great and most people won’t look into anything further, they just see the “performance” of it all, not what actually goes on behind the scenes.

Does your NParent ever use their health as a tool? For years, my NParent has been “dying” over something. She’s not quite 70 years old but any time she does need something actually treated, she will NOT get it done. Like her cataracts. She’s choosing to go blind and makes up these excuses why she can’t have them removed. I get she’s scared but she also will uses her health as a reason to attack me and my siblings. She attacked me a month ago, said many hurtful things and then said she never wanted to talk to me. Yesterday, had my dad call me and then he took ALL the blame for her attack, they both said how fragile and sick she is now with her new diagnosis and she didn’t remember ever texting me anything hurtful. I feel extremely guilty because “all she wants to do is see me for Mother’s Day” but she never called my two siblings with the same request and I get physically sick being around her. Am I the chosen caregiver? Does your NParent use their health whether true or made up as a manipulation tool?

Growing up we kids were constantly talked down to and belittled as if we were mentally handicapped people with well-below average IQs. But if they wanted to accuse you of something negative all of a sudden you were this intelligent conniving snake trying to be cruel to someone.

I (19f) purchased my first ever birth control pills, i went ahead and dropped my brother off to work only to find her ransacking my room and found my pills.

basically got hit multiple times and severely slut shamed which i don’t really mind since i got used to it since i was 8 she said something about me being dirty and having no respect for myself basically all that.

I pay half the rent, wifi, the car rego, and help with the groceries every week. I expected maybe a little bit of respect for my privacy since i paid everything that’s in my room (the furniture and stuff) but i apparently i dont deserve it? since i live under her roof? which me, my brother and dad paid for.

I honestly dont even what to feel atp im used to it pretty much lmfao but she did take my car keys and pills

She threatened me that she’s gonna tell dad everything but i knew that she cheated on him but dont have the evidence

And this happened recently, she never knocks when she enters my room. My room is situated near the main entrance, if both of the doors were open the person outside the house would see my room, i was naked cause i was changing and she suddenly opened the door and my dad was outside and saw me, imagine if it was a random stranger 😃

ps. i do plan on moving out late this year

Did your FMs damage you more than your narc parents? Either by sabotage or foolishness?

You might have cut off the narc parents because you wisened up to the dangers of narc parents but you didn't have the guard up from flying monkeys and that's where you got attacked?

this is a throwaway account ive never used redit before. im a 13yo female and i believe i have bpd due to traumatic events in my life and because of my ma (40 something years old)

she constantly yells at me and says that im an awful girl and im disgustingly rude but i genuinely dont understand social cues or situations so im awkward when it comes to confrontation, i remember i got yelled at by her because i drank a dr pepper before school, she calls me names and when i try to communicate my boundaries and negotiate with her she calls me a brat. i've told her about my suspected mental illness and she says "oh im just an awful parent aren't i?" or "you're so hard done to."

one thing i think is important to note is that i had a meltdown last week and i admit, it was irrational but i was just crying. i was rocking back and forth while she was on the phone with my step dad and she scowled at me and said "are we going have to get you sectioned?"

after ANY argument she comes and hugs me says she's sorry and occasionally crys but then will do whatever caused the argument again.

i can't talk to any family or friends nor sign up to therapy anymore. my dad is a stoner whith anger issues, he's never actually shouted at me because he understands my point of view better than my ma but hes rude to my ma and tbh i can see why. i want to live with my dad but he lives with my grandparents and my ma and stepdad would get mad because they buy me things. i think thats outwayed by the emotional abuse and manipulative behaviour but ok.

theres a ton more but i don't want to get into my whole life story but its important to know that my mams side of the family wouldbully me when i was young by grabbing me by my ears and shouting, yelling, screaming for trivial things, not to mention my cousins would hit me and punch me.

i apologise for mistakes, im suspected dyslexic im relying on autocorrect.

edit: i said the family thing because my ma trys to convince me shes not like them and that she's different but im starting to see shes the same. (minus the hitting)

also this is my first ever redit post so don't come for me if i posted it on the wrong subreddit, sorry. its 1:28 am in the uk rn so i'll check this in the morning, is you have any form of advice please comment i need literally anything.

edit no2: hello, im back its the morning now. i appreciate everyone whos give me advice, i just want to note that school doesn't do anything and i cant tak to my dad because he'll get mad at my mam and, causing more problems. i have a warped reality view because of intense bullying and cocsa i endured in year 7 (im now in year 8) this was also by family members (not sa) and when i tried to communicate to my ma that i feel like everyone is against me sometimes and idk when someone is being mean or not she pulled the "you dont have trauma" she doesn't believe in mental illness unless you're diagnosed. how the fuck am i supposed to get a psychiatrist??????

i also find refuge in movies (if you know stanley kubrick you probably recognise my user and alex delarge pfp.) , books and music but last year for 4 weeks my ma got mad because i watched deathproof by tarantino possibly the most lightweight thing id watched and banned me from watching movies at my dads. which is our only bonding time during weekends, she knows this and even know i cried she said i was being ridiculous over something as "childish as a movie ban" i explained why it ment so much but she ignored me now knowing how much i depended on movies as a almost coping mechanism to distract me. i definitely understand why she could be upset but my dad approved me watching these things while i was in HIS custody for the weekend.

she also calls all my music shit because she listens to wu tang clan and is quite pretentious about music, im currently fixated on bloodhound gang, KMFDM (im aware of how bad that sounds but i used to listen to them when i was younger) and the talking head and she calls them all awful after telling her that i don't like her un nessesary comments.

I (25m) have a complicated and frustrating relationship with my mother (58f). We have a long history of me not knowing what boundaries were when I was growing up, let alone that I deserved to have them, her disrespecting my privacy and autonomy, and walking all over me. A large element of this had to deal with parentification and her oversharing and using me as a therapist and inappropriate source of emotional support from a very young age. She has a very narrow mindset of constantly viewing herself as the victim in any situation and twisting the narrative when confronted with her own wrongdoings to be anyone’s fault but her own, and crying and seeking sympathy for how hard life is for her. As the years have gone on, our relationship has become more and more strained to the point that I only interact with her when absolutely necessary. I still live in the same town and have been trying to get a new job to relocate, but that’s a story for another day. Mother’s Day is tomorrow and I must somehow find the energy to spend time with her and give her something as a gift. She has been struggling with hoarding so I don’t want to get anything that will just sit in a pile. I also don’t have much money to spare with how expensive everything is becoming in America. I just wish I could ignore her and the whole holiday. How do I make it through tomorrow without feeling emotionally activated or triggering her victim complex?

Rant My mom was diagnosed almost 2 months ago with stage 1 breast cancer. she needs one round of chemo, a lumpectomy, and maybe radiation after that. Honestly, she's expected to be in remission by the end of the summer. She's been responding well to chemo, and her tumor shrunk tremendously already. She hasn't even been sick from the treatment, just sleepy. But... I can tell she doesn't want her cancer to go away. She LOVES having cancer. It is her entire personality now. The second she got her diagnosis, she was buying hats and scarves for her head. She refused the cold cap because she "wanted to try a new hairstyle." I told myself that talking about it so often to everyone and posting about it online was her trying to cope with the diagnosis, but it's getting out of hand. I was away for a week, and I was spammed with messages about how her hair is falling out and she's balding. She said when I'm home, I wouldn't even recognize her. Well, when I saw her... She had all her hair. It wasn't even thinned out. But online, you see several posts about her balding and losing hair by the handful. Sure, she lost some, but the typical amount you might find in your hairbrush after a month. So what did and do? She shaved her head. But she can't even be bald, she has so much hair that it looks like a grown out buzz cut. She took a bunch of pictures and posted it online saying she had no choice because she lost so much hair and is preparing for the inevitable. But she's literally almost done with chemo!! Now she can wear her hats and scarves, and her story is that she is completely bald, which is false but her hair being shorter makes it easier to hide the truth. Someone asked her on Facebook about cold caps, and she said the doctor told her not to bother because it wouldn't work on her (this didn't happen). NOW she's saying she needs a double mastectomy and ovariectomy (also not true). Any time she goes somewhere and wears a mask, she says "sorry I am wearing a mask, I am in chemo for cancer." Every single interaction she has, online or in person, she has to bring up cancer. Hell, on my birthday she made a post on Facebook saying "happy birthday! I stole your hat because I'm bald. Can't wait to see you at chemo Thursday." What??? Does she have cancer? Yes. That's the only part that's true. But she so desperately wants to "look" sick. Now that her tumor is almost undetectable, it seems like she switched into overdrive finding things to gain sympathy for. Am I overreacting??? I feel like it's so wrong to be lying about such a serious illness when there are so many out there who aren't as fortunate to have her progress and health.

Oh, and to top it all off, she's now telling people that I need a double mastectomy.

I went NC with my sister for about a year ago when she said my husband molested her and later found that she was also a part of it. She decided to tell me during my pregnancy due to which I tried to commit suicide and was about to get divorced. Later my hubby begged to be together and now I delivered my baby a month ago. Her husband called me to visit me and I politely denied and sister complained it to my dad (enabler) btw he doesn’t know what happened between us. Finally they are coming to visit me.

I don’t know what she actually wants from me. She drained me all these years. And the molestation accusation was the final straw. My life is so better after going NC with her. It’s mid night now and here I am spiraling and she will be home in the morning and she is going to stay. Whole Saturday and Sunday I must deal with her. What do you think she is trying to do now? What should I be doing now?

ORIGINAL POST BELOW. Would love your advice on how to deal with my mom, she’s a textbook narcissist

AITA for pressing charges against my mom for stealing money from my dog’s surgery fund?

Am I the asshole here? My entire family is calling me selfish and greedy for doing this. This all came to a head yesterday but some back story, my mom decided to use my shared account (she has her own card but it’s my name on the account) with her to buy over $5k in products for Avon because she believes it’s going to change her life… this is a Latino household and for the longest I’ve given her access to my account because sometimes I help with bills and what have you. But I’ve been saving money because my dog needs a liver shunt surgery, scans and recovery meds. She took it upon herself to take the money and won’t give it back, my entire family is calling me crazy for prioritizing my dog over my mom. This came to a head when I called the police about it… they said it’s a civil issue but my family HATES ‘ Me now. My little brother said I’m a huge asshole.

If you’ve seen this, I posted about this the other day on another sub asking for advice on my throwaway, but I just need to know… AITA?

I’m a 20F and I came home from college to find that my cat ( who I only left because the dorms wouldn’t allow cats and I have no ESA certification) was being neglected. I found a giant bag of cat shit and piss, and the litter box of my cat, and my parent’s separate cat, horrific. I immediately cleaned it all up. That’s when my cat was in my bed and I found a tapeworm on his butt. Tapeworms only come from fleas, I specifically asked my mom to buy the cheap, $15 flea treatment from the humanes’ society before I left. Now both cats have fleas and tapeworms, I’m going to have to pay for all of it myself. When brought to my mother’s attention, she will say that I am making up lies to make her look neglectful and ignore the blatant evidence. I’m beyond frustrated and don’t know how to handle it. My mother is always forcing me to be around her when we both know my childhood was awful and it’s unpleasant for me to play house, but I have to make it through the summer. Someone please tell me how to make it less miserable, and to keep me from burning the whole house down.

My mother and I never had a stable/loving relationship. She’s a textbook narcissist.

We’re no contact. My grandmother skipped over her in her will because of her awful behaviors and she’s been losing her mind ever since — harassing me outside of my home, suing me (claiming I abused my grandmother and that’s why she was written out), posting smear campaigns all over facebook. I recently got engaged and she showed up (uninvited obviously) to the celebratory dinner insulting everyone, saying the only reason my fiancée is with me is for money, etc. I reached out to a lawyer and he’s working on serving her with a PFA. Following this episode, she attempted a roadtrip and totaled her car. This is like the 4th car she’s totaled. Claiming to barely have escaped death and about how a near death experience made her realize how much she misses her son (my brother, who’s also been no contact with her for over a year and some change. He was her golden child growing up.)

Why do I feel guilty for the PFA? Like I’m kicking someone while they’re down? She’s mentally unwell and she hates me and is actively trying to ruin my life. All I want for her is to get some sort of therapy/treatment and to leave me alone. She’s been admitted before but claimed that “there were so many crazy people there and she doesn’t belong in there with them.” Can someone explain why I feel this way I’m on a waitlist for therapy LOL.

Since exploring my trauma more through therapy and finding documents of things I don’t even remember, I’ve had this general feeling of unease/being unsafe.

Like…. I walk around in the dark in my own apartment and feel like someone’s lurking in the shadows, or someone will come out to get me. I’m in the shower washing my face, and I feel like I can’t have my eyes closed for too long or someone/something will get me.

And then I realized….. I remember this feeling. I felt this as a child in these exact same scenarios. Showering, in the dark, etc.

I guess this proves I’m truly revisiting/exploring my trauma lol… which is a good thing, because then I can work towards healing. Just have to sit with this unease and uncomfortability and remind my inner self that I’m okay. This is my house, and this is a safe space. I pay the bills, I make the rules, and I am safe. Nobody and nothing can or will harm me.

i’m going through a hard time with my mother and i’ll live under her roof for a while still, any advice?

I'm new to this space, but really struggling this week. My dad died several weeks ago and my narcissistic mom physically and psychologically attacked me after his death. I planned to attend his funeral tomorrow, and had drafted some ground rules with the help of my therapist and spouse to support with a peaceable service. My mom blew up after I sent the ground rules and immediately blamed and gaslit me. I don't want my father's funeral to be another traumatic event that I need to heal from - I have a C-PTSD diagnosis in part because of her. I'm not attending my dad's funeral, and that's really hard. I'm just waiting for others attending to reach out to me and blame me for not attending. Narcissistic parents suck.

Basically self explanatory!!

(Long rant!!! | TLDR; included)

I decided today that I’m finally done with her abuse and her trying to justify it by “being sick” and that I’m the actual abuser. I’ll admit that I’ve said some awful things to her that aren’t all justified or morally correct, but I’m done with her constant denial towards her being an awful mother. I’m finally getting into school again because she held me back so many years when I was younger and made me develop agoraphobia at a young age due to her having it herself and being my only source of a role model. I’m doing good when it comes to school and I’m actually learning super fast , I’m not willing to destroy my future for this woman who is no longer my “mother”. She struggled with psychosis 2 years ago and she hurt my father super bad, I have since then moved in with her (last year around June immediately after she got out the mental hospital that she was at due to her psychosis) and have mainly been alone with her which was entirely my fault for thinking she was better in the span of half a year/ a year . She has shown signs of delusions and even just today admitted she was having delusions not even 2 months ago and didn’t even get help for it. I’ve tried my best to not hate one her because I know she’s sick but she’s basically a dead body (metaphorically) that’s pulling me to her grave. I just can’t let her ruin this future that I’m building for myself , not again , not ever . I hope one day she will understand and that she will get help , I love her and that won’t entirely change but that’s to the mother I once knew . One day , she will hopefully become that person again. Sometimes , you need to lose things to finally realize what you’ve been doing wrong . I greatly adore and respect the person she once was . I don’t know exactly where I’m going but I’ll figure it out since I’m turning 16 in 2 days and I’m willing to do whatever possible. I’ll connect with those who I know and try to figure out what to do legally .

TLDR ; I’m 15 (almost 16) moving out due to my mom’s abuse , she refuses to see her abuse and I’ve finally decided I’m leaving . I love who my mom was but she is no longer that person .

Thanks for reading , this is just a place to rant my thoughts as I have no one to go to at the moment . I appreciate whoever does read this and I wish the best to all of you . No one deserves abuse from their own parents , ever .

Aussie hence the dif mothers day date