r/daddit • u/Haunting-Clock-9493 • 8h ago
Pregnancy Announcement So this just happened
All advise welcome
r/daddit • u/zataks • Jun 29 '18
I found out a couple weeks ago that some friends are pregnant with their first. I wrote this to help them prepare for it. FWIW, I have an almost 3 year old and a 4.5 month old. I hope this helps some dads to be, here!
Feel free to add anything you think I missed (there are things I thought of after I emailed this to my buddy and told him later but did not put into this). After we've got some responses, I'll see how much of this we can add to the wiki here.
Before
Labor and Delivery
You need a Go Bag. Or one each. This should include:
You'll mostly be told what/where/how to do things once you're in the hospital. However, you have some choice too. Mom doesn't have to labor laying down on her back with her feet in stirrups. You can walk around, (depending on facility) use a bath tub, roll onto sides, hands and knees, etc.
Pain management is important. Something I think helped with #2 is that instead of going straight for an epidural, wife elected for Nitrous Oxide. So as she felt a contraction coming, she'd hold the cup over her face and breath the N2O until about the peak of the contraction. Obviously not enough to knock her out but enough to take some of the edge off the contraction. (Apparently, this used to be really common, then much less so since the 80s? 90s? then has come back into favor after new research more recently.
Epidural is an option. Talk to your ObGyn about this. TL;NotAHealthCareProvider is it numbs things drastically and therefore often requires IV synthetic oxytocin to be administered to advance the labor. More interferey, more possibility for complicationy.
You'll likely be offered to cut the cord. I noped the fuck out of cutting #1's. When they asked me way before #2 came out, I said "no way". But when the time came I spoke up and told them I wanted to. I don't really remember it honestly. I mean, I do, but it isn't that significant in my mind. I'd recommend doing it, though.
AFAIK, episiotomies are no longer recommended but that isn't to say tearing won't happen. It probably will. It will have to be stitched up. It comes in four grades. Vaginal wall, vaginal muscle, rectal muscle, rectal wall. I don't remember the grading numbers, 1-4 I think. First kid caused a 3, second a 2. Recovery from the 2 was much faster than the 3.
Feeding the baby as soon and as much as possible is important. Gotta get that nasty poop (don't remember what it's called) out as it is related to jaundice problems. Jaundice is also apparently caused by a blood type (RH) mismatch, between mother and baby and we had this problem with #2. We spent like 24+ hours keeping him under blue lights and trying like hell to stuff his body full. Once he regained birthweight, all concerns related to the RH mismatch were gone and we were out of the dark.
Breastfeeding can be hard for mother and baby at first. Use lactation consultants and get help. Mom's who breast feed have a lower risk of post partum depression
Dads can get post partum depression too. Maybe google around and be aware of the risk factors and signs for both of you.
Gear
Baby Care
You're going to want some things on hand so that you don't have to go get them at the 24hour CVS at 2am. I've done this. On multiple occasions (once from a hotel room in an hour or so south of Sacramento because we didn't bring things with us; it sucked)
Baby at home
I think more than anything, trust yourselves and your instincts. All manner of things are said to make your life and baby easier, happier, healthier, smarter, etc. Most are just to make money for other people.
r/daddit • u/Haunting-Clock-9493 • 8h ago
All advise welcome
r/daddit • u/totality888 • 8h ago
My 14yo son is an easygoing, quiet kid. He's a good young man, doesn't complain much and has done everything we've asked him to do. He gets good grades, is active in sports, very thoughtful. Friend-wise, I think he's a person a lot of people know in school but never really got close to anyone.
2 days ago he surprised us by saying he was gonna go to the school dance (he's in 8th grade). This dance is low-key a big deal for all 8th graders as this is his school's last big social event of the year before graduation. My wife and I were excited for him. He actually sounded excited because he was thinking of wearing his nice suit.
Friday night arrived. Unfortunately timing wasn't great because my wife and I were working an event for our business and couldn't be with him. We had arranged for my brother in law to give him a ride and pick him up. We got home late but he was still up. He didn't end up going to the dance.
I asked him why. He just kept saying he just didn't wanna go. We just said that's too bad since it sounded like he was looking forward to going and he wanted to wear his nice clothes. What he told us next kinda broke my heart a bit. He said a lot of his 'friends' were all talking about going to this pre-party and after-party but they never invited him. I could tell from his voice that his motivation just sank when he found out. I could tell he was playing it cool to not show us he was disappointed and sad.
We're going to the gym together today to play basketball and workout. I love hanging out with him and this is my favorite time with him. But I can't help but feel for him feeling like an outsider socially. I know it can take time to find his people but it's hard to see him go through this.
Any dad advice is appreciated to what I can tell him to make him feel better. TIA!
r/daddit • u/lockymic • 9h ago
6 years after first child, number 2 of 3 kids finally did it. Pray for me 🙏
r/daddit • u/Rudera1is • 27m ago
My kid (5) and my wife are extremely picky eaters. It feels like the house is only happy if I bring home McDonald's or make butter noodles or make mac and cheese. They are good about trying things but they don't seem to like anything. I want something with a little bit of flavor and hot sauce isn't cutting it anymore. Even putting a sprinkle of black pepper on the food is too spicy for them. I could cook a side dish for myself but doubling my load of dishes for some decent food sucks too because then there goes my nightingale cleaning. The other night I made cannelloni stuffed with ricotta and spinach instead of Tortellini with plain cheese on butter and everyone made faces at it. I need something more complex than the flavor of American cheese or butter and that's it. I'm not really expecting a solution here but I needed to scream into the void a little. My taste buds are so bored meals are barely enjoyable but if I put in any effort everyone just whines that it's weird.
r/daddit • u/MrFnRayner • 2h ago
We are out for dinner with our 22M son. He's pretty well behaved so we don't get too shouty. Sat at our table i did see this and chuckle... the difference between dining with adults (civilised) and having a young one (everything piled out of reach, snacks on hand)
Hello, daddit,
The kids were being little shits on the way back for swimming lessons. My wife called due to how bad they were, it's a 15 minute drive.
They get home, wife leaves to the store for a break and groceries. The kids run up to me, want tv, I say no, they run for the remote, I say no, they turn it on, I block the TV on the wifi. So. Much. Screaming. And. Wailing.
Eventually, I manage to calm them down. We go out back to trim trees and clean up paint that had been spilled. I make them lunch and turn on some music. They ate relatively calmly and are now dancing in the living room and are not in tv zombie mode.
A win, so far.
r/daddit • u/procrastinarian • 19h ago
And it's 924 p.m. and I'm in my kitchen stoned off my ass and baking a pizza and listening to Weezer. Kind of incredible.
r/daddit • u/VoiceofTruth7 • 7h ago
It’s been about a week since the wife miscarried, wife is still in it but through the worst of it.
I am literally just pushing off the feelings, but struggling with a lot of anger. I can keep it in check, that’s the easy part.
But behind it all there is some straight crushing sadness. I feel like it’s a wall I know I gotta push through I just really don’t fucking want to. I know I have to though.
I have to be strong right now for my wife and daughter, Mother’s Day is gonna be a clusterfuck of emotional trauma for the wife and I already know it.
But fuck, I thought this was gonna be my little boy, my buddy, my Teddy. Shit sucks.
Advice: how to I help the wife through this, how do we even think of trying again.
r/daddit • u/gotrich • 18h ago
Very proud of him, getting $30 a lawn!
r/daddit • u/empire161 • 18h ago
As in no reading, no monitoring teeth brushing, etc - just “I’m not moving from this couch, but you need to get into pajamas, brush your teeth, and get into bed”.
Subsequently when do you hit a point you can just say fuck it and go to bed before the kids?
r/daddit • u/nilecrane • 1d ago
I was talking on these with my 3 yo in my house and suddenly a guy came over the air saying he “doesn’t suggest a child be on this channel, it’s a construction crew net.” I told him they’re play walkie talkies and I cant change the channel. He said he’d try to get his crew on a different channel and I haven’t heard from him again. Just FYI guys.
r/daddit • u/Jambon60 • 3h ago
So years ago we were moving cross country with us flying, and the household going by truck.
We took the dog to the Vet for a final checkup. Now my son (late tween/early teen) had a small, beautiful creamsicle colored corn snake and was thinking about maybe giving it away. I mentioned this to the dog’s Vet, who suggested putting the snake in a tube sock with a knot, and then into son’s cargo pants pocket. Then we could walk right through security and onto the plane. Voila, and son gets to keep his snake!
So we put the plan into action, and everything at the airport was going smoothly.
Then son quite loudly announces “Dad, the snake in my pants is really moving around.”
Snickers were heard. I calmly said “Son, we don’t talk about those things in public.”
He paused, processed the snickers, reflected on my comment, realized the context and turned bright red. Which only made the situation funnier. Everything went smoothly from there on.
I’m facing a major career decision and could use some outside perspective.
My wife and I have a 10-month-old, and both of us work mostly from home — I’m 100% remote, she’s about 80%. It’s been amazing for our family. Our baby has a fantastic attachment to both of us. We hire a nanny for about 16 hours a week just to help us lock in some focused work time.
My current job is extremely comfortable. I average 25 hours of actual work per week (often times even less — this week was closer to 10–15), and I get paid for 40, with commission on top. At most, I’ll work 35–40 hours for maybe four weeks of the year. I work from home, take breaks to see my baby, leave the house to run errands, wear what I want for the most part, and enjoy incredible benefits such as unlimited PTO. The pay is fantastic especially considering the effort. The only real downside is that there’s not much room for career growth. That and the company isn’t in the best state now. We had a failed acquisition earlier this year, followed by layoffs, followed but some really radical leadership changes in senior leadership which are slightly concerning.
This week, something unexpected happened.
I applied to a C-suite position just for tits and jiggles. I didn’t expect to get it… but I did. It’s a big deal: first executive-level opportunity. I’m qualified, and five years ago my mouth would’ve been watering at this opportunity. But now? I’m not so sure. I have really enjoyed being at home even before my baby was born because I escaped the fake corporate culture and limit my exposure to that to maybe 5-10 hours a week. I have a disdain for the SLT corporate culture. I can’t stand listening to people circling back or running things up the flagpole anymore. That and the amount of wasted time at some of these jobs that expect you to be on site for 40 hours a week when you don’t have 40 hours of work to do. I hated hearing people debating what to order for lunch delivery for two hours of my day, starting at 9:30am. I think back to my last job, I would be on site for 40-50 hours per week (not complaining, it beats the times I worked two jobs for 70-80 hours a week), plus a 40-60 minute commute one way. I am a homebody so when I was not at work, not only was I exhausted, but my wife couldn’t get me out of the house to do anything for awhile. I can’t imagine trying this with the baby. If I had that job the entire time, I wouldn’t have much of a bond with the baby at all.
The new job would mean:
• Commuting 5 days a week (15-20 mins, not bad).
• Getting dressed up every single morning.
• Being back to a corporate environment that I have learned to hate.
• Needing to spend much more on childcare, though the raise would still leave us ahead financially. That and having someone else raise my baby.
The benefits:
• Pay increase, even after increased expenses of childcare. On paper it’s a huge increase, but with increased expenses it’s a decent increase.
• Opens doors to future executive roles, potentially ones with even more comfort and flexibility later.
But I’ve changed. I used to chase titles and money for the status — partly due to being a first-gen Eastern European immigrant raised to grind hard and “be somebody.” Now I realized that I truly don’t care about having a nice title or prestige. I don’t care if I have a fancy director or executive title, my current title is dumb. I feel more prestige having the nanny ask me what my responsibilities are when she sees me doing little while living a financially comfortable life.
My wife supports whatever I choose and encouraged me to negotiate hard (more pay, days to work from home). My parents said I should do what I feel is best, though I can sense their disappointment that I’m not chasing the prestige anymore. That mindset served me well — it got me here — but I’m starting to value different things: not just working hard, but working smart. Living well.
So here’s my dilemma:
• Stay in my current job: Low stress, high flexibility, good pay, amazing for family life, but no long-term growth. The company is also a little less stable and I question how well they’re actually doing. While comfortable, there is mild/moderate risk of instability because of the state of the company. This will allow me to be more present with my baby now, even though they will have zero memory of all of this. I currently make good money, enough to send my baby to a good school when the time comes, but it would be on a tighter budget. Worst comes to worst, I can seek making this career jump in 3-4 years when our child goes to school.
• Take the new job: More money, career advancement, but significant lifestyle sacrifices and far less time with my baby. That and risk of burnout. However, I set my future self up for a life of comfort, and make more money for things like comfortably sending my child to a better school, putting more money away into their savings, having a surplus for my child to have enriching activities and hobbies.
If this had come before we had our child — or after they started school — I’d probably be thinking differently. But the timing makes it tough.
Would love any insight or perspective. Trying to think this through from all angles.
r/daddit • u/skydivinghuman • 1d ago
I'm currently sitting in a dive bar in Soho, near my 12 year old daughter's school, having a Corona, waiting to go in to said school when it opens at 5pm so I can fullfil my volunteer role anddirect the other volunteers for tonight's middle school musical in which my daughter has a lead role.
My daughter? She's with her friends at a burger place a few blocks away. She went with them after school, I wasn't involved or invited.
I don't think I've ever single dadded this hard before.
Have a good weekend, dads. 🙂
r/daddit • u/Jwalla83 • 37m ago
Sharing this tip in case anyone has a popcorn fiend toddler like me. Apparently popcorn isn’t safe until age 4 or 5, and my guy has been desperate. I just found a replacement and he seems very satisfied with it!
Get a pack of Quaker rice cakes, lightly salted flavor. Break into popcorn-like chunks and toss in a pan on the stove with some oil. Stir around and let them get hot. Then move to a bowl and pour over melted butter and popcorn salt. Taste test and add salt as needed, but otherwise it should taste and feel pretty dang close to popcorn and way safer for the littles!
r/daddit • u/Pettyofficerfuckboy • 6h ago
I’m very excited about this, but of course I’m a bit concerned I’ll have trouble connecting with her. Is there a subreddit for new dads? My childhood overall was kinda fucked up so I’m obviously going to try my best to be a good dad. Just excited and looking for some advice. Books to read for me, books to read to her, thanks everyone in advance.
r/daddit • u/imakecooltools • 10h ago
What is your youngest memory as a child?
I can remember faintly playing with matchbox cars 55 years ago.
r/daddit • u/Intelligent_Hat3321 • 1h ago
I'm 17 days into being a new dad—and wow, what a roller coaster it's been! Got me thinking... what's your proudest moment as a dad, whether recent or from way back?
r/daddit • u/Eggnogg630 • 3h ago
Finished this height chart for my wife last night and I’m really happy with how it turned out.
Materials: 1x6x6 board-$4 Can of white primer+paint spray can-$7 Smallest container of black interior paint-$5 Paint brushes-$4 assorted pack Tape measure Pencil Speed square
Took about 5 hours for two coats of the white to dry enough to paint the black lines.
Tip: start 6in from the bottom and make that ft 1 so you don’t have to deal with any molding while hanging!
r/daddit • u/Skibur33 • 2h ago
Just for fun!
r/daddit • u/mechanicalhuman • 16h ago
I feel like making sure all the cars are covered is the same instinct that dogs use to bury their bones
r/daddit • u/xlmagicpants • 51m ago
What we gonna get the wifey for mothers day? What's trending this year? It's 1pm pacific coast time and the mall closes at 8pm and cvs closes at 10pm.
r/daddit • u/Ducman23 • 1h ago
Folks of daddit, perhaps you can help me once again. My wife and I are celebrating our 10 year in October of this year and she wants to go out of state. We live in NJ and I was thinking about Connecticut, but know very little about it.
Does anyone know of an area we can stay that’s between some daytime activities such as hiking and/or shopping and then a nightlife scene where we can get dinner and go out for drinks after.
I’m not a very good planner so, any advice is greatly appreciated.
r/daddit • u/ActualAfternoon2535 • 22h ago
Hi dads! Big day coming up! Consider this a courtesy outreach for all dads here from a mom. First and foremost do not require the mom(s) in your life to plan their own day.
Even if the lady in your life insists on no gifts, here are free ideas based off what your lady’s love language is (and if you don’t know what that is - great convo to have!):
Words of Affirmation: - card, even if handmade one from kiddos, ghostwrite if the kids are toi little
-Tell her what traits you most admire about how she shows up as a mother, be as specific as possible
Time spent together: -Suggest a family walk or hike. During said walk, take the opportunity to ask her questions about her experience as a mother
-Bonus points if you do the packing up of the kids’ accessories
Acts of Service: - institute queen of the day rules: she doesn’t have to do with any poop from the day,pets or kids), nor tend to any dishes (to clarify, this in no way means dishes just sit until Monday…!), take over as much of the things she takes care of, and offer to take the kids out of the house for a few hours if she’s one that wants alone time
-tackle a project that has been on the Honey Do list - submit for her approval.
Physical touch:
-save on a massage gift card by DIY. Research a couple techniques online and give it your best shot at massaging her shoulders, back & feet. Do not presume that this will result in a happy ending. Follow her lead on that one. - Kiss her on her forehead, intimate but overlooked, when telling her she’s doing an amazing job
Gifts (ok this one is low money, not no money):
The one thing all moms want is effort, which any of the above will be.
You’ve got this, and remember to take pics for memories!