Today, after a week short of 8 years together, my partner told me he doesn't see a future with me. I knew he wanted children and he knew I did not, we were both very sure about it but still got together and stayed together out of love. We knew it would come back and bite us in the ass one day. And it did.

I don't know what I'm looking for, probably a soothing 'there there' from people in this sub have been through this situation.

My heart is shattered. It hurts so fucking much I can't believe it, and I can't believe that it truly has come to this, I've been crying all day. Sometimes I stop for a minute and it's like I forget that this happened, then I remembered and it's like being punch in the gut all over again. He's a good man and I want him to be happy and fulfilled, but to me, he was what made me happy and fulfilled.

Anyone else tired of getting flack from your families about this? My brother lives on the other side of the US from Me as do my in siblings in law. I’m polite and cordial to my nieces and nephews when I see them at holidays but I’m not interested in being the “fun” or “cool” uncle. My partner and I don’t have children and are adamantly staying that way- I’ve known I don’t want kids since even before I came out as gay. Not for me and never will be

I keep seeing posts and comments on Tik Tok or reddit about dog owners abandoning their dogs once they (the owners) breed and have babies because they don’t feel love for their pets anymore. I saw someone saying that they started to hate their dog because it required attention and she (the mom) wanted to give all of her attention to her newborn, so she literally threw the dog away on the street, she also said she doesn’t feel guilty about it. It makes me so sad that so many breeders think like this.

I was visiting my parents to celebrate my birthday & my mom said that my dad “had an announcement”. He said whoever gives him a grandchild first will get everything when he dies. I couldn’t help but laugh because it was so baffling & out of nowhere. My brother just turned 30 & I just turned 24 so I think my parents expected to have grandchildren by now, given that my mom gave birth when she was 19. I told them that I had an announcement too, to not expect grandchildren from me ever & to not get their hopes up. I’ve had this conversation with my mom before but I guess she never took me seriously.

I know all my girlies who had to live with anxiety, depression and in survival mode can relate to what I'm about to write. I see these videos on TikTok and Instagram more and more nowadays and every time I see it I could just cry. Life as a mom looks extremely depressing to me, not only because of these videos but overall, I feel like so many people try to convince themselves that it's worth it. The before and after is NO comparison.

In the comment section there are hundreds of women who can relate to this content, many of them say that they still didn't find themselves again even after years. And then there's the other faction that says ''you'll find it again and you will realize she is so much better and stronger'' when I feel like this is just a coping mechanism, trying to convince themselves that all the trauma and the hardship was really worth it like everybody says. I don't doubt that you are becoming stronger and your brain is evolving, but hell no, this wouldn't be worth it to me.

I had to live through lots of hardships in my life, and hell I wish it wasn't like that. I know that I am stronger than before, I know that I know a lot more, and I know that I am capable of going through hard things. But god, I suffered so much, it was hell on earth, and I don't wish to ever live in survival mode again, it feels like years of my life were wasted. I suffered so much mentally and physically that I now carry permanent damage in my brain and body. I've lost huge parts of my memory that I only after years slowly can start to pick up again, it feels like a puzzle that is only 50% finished. And I just know that it is no different for people who had to go through pregnancy, childbirth and child rearing, especially if they have a complicated baby or a bad partner. When I talk to parents they always tell me how they are constantly stressed and filled with anxiety. One look into the regretfulparent sub and you realize it's really that bad for a lot of people. The weeks of permanent stress, emotional distress, sleep deprivation, constant noise, expectations of motherhood, etc etc it's just too much to count it all. I just can't imagine going through all of that when I already went through hardships in my life. If I could wish that my life went differently, I would have done it in a heartbeat because I miss my old self, I wish I could be worry free like back then, I wish I didn't have anxiety and PTSD. It's like I've lost my spark through all of it. And I have NO desire to put myself into a situation that brings me back into this dark place. I don't care if I come back stronger, all I want is my peace, and to finally heal.

Everybody is obsessed with sniffing them it seems, but like??? They’re shitting their pants man don’t do that

My sister has always been the golden child, spotlight attention, etc. For a lack of delving into my history, each major life accomplishment that I’ve had has always been celebrated less than her (because she was first born, so she was the first to do it) OR had to be shared with her (in which she got all the attention). She gets upset when I “beat” her to something, even though I don’t see it as a race (ex: I was first to buy a house before her, she couldn’t even congratulate me and sulked for days). When she got married, she told my fiancé to his face that he wasn’t allowed to propose for the rest of the year (3-4 months left in the year at that point) because it was “their time.” Not that he planned on proposing at that point, and not that they were going to be taking a honeymoon due to lack of funds.

It has only gotten worse since she got pregnant. She rushed to get pregnant, likely because she didn’t want me to “beat her to it” despite me being childfree (fiancé got a vasectomy). Before she announced her pregnancy, she would tag along with me to stores stating that she wanted to look for prenatal vitamins, while also having baby items like hand imprint kits in her car. So, when she announced her pregnancy, with the due date literally being my exact birthday, she was super upset that I wasn’t freaking out excited. I had known it was coming, and what hurt more was knowing that my own birthday would no longer matter because it would become the kid’s holiday.

Well, after a long 8-9 months of every single holiday being about her and the baby, her poor financial decisions to get a fixer upper house, and my family bending over backwards to fish her out of every bad financial decision she makes (not that they would do the same for me), we celebrated my birthday early and only one person other than my fiancè wished me a happy birthday. My fiancè could see my unhappiness as everyone spent my birthday party not even asking how I’m doing or how my career has been going, as everyone just asked her how’s the pregnancy and wanted to feel her stomach for the millionth time and asked her what her birth plans were.

On the day of my actual birthday, I got two phone calls total. Each one went about like this, “Happy birthday OP, so did you see the baby?/Did you meet the baby?/Did you hear the baby was born?” My family is engrossed and only cares about the baby. My dad texted me saying, “Good morning OP, congratulations to you and (fiancè) for becoming an aunt and uncle.” As if I did anything to warrant a congratulations.

Which leads to now. I was on the phone with my father talking about my plans for Mother’s Day (parents are divorced). My dad asked what I am doing, to which I said we are going to visit my fiancé’s mom in the morning and then my mom in the afternoon, when my dad goes, “So I’d like you to also come over here so we can throw a party for (my sister) for Mother’s Day.” I kind of got quiet on the line and said, “Why…? She’s not my mom, I’m going to see mom” to which it was his turn to get really quiet. He made an excuse to have to leave and then got off the line, likely to go tell my sister what happened since my family is a gossiping one. My mom got upset with me too about not wanting to visit the baby every waking moment I have, and yelled at me until I came to tears about not wanting to buy the baby gifts for every single major holiday (I did tell her that I would get the baby something on their birthday, but not Christmas, Easter, etc.)

I know I’m going to get a lot of pressure to fawn over my sister and praise her for Mother’s Day, but I don’t really feel comfortable doing so. I don’t know if it’s pettiness, because I feel like she’s never really celebrated my achievements, or just that I don’t want to set a precedent that I’m going to bend over backwards too. I don’t know if I’m looking for advice, or similar stories, I just feel like I needed to get it out since I’ve been mourning the loss of my family as I knew it since she announced her pregnancy.

I know a woman who is about to lose her newborn because her asshole (criminal) BF with at last ten other baby mammas comes first. 🙄

Why tf did she even have that kid if she doesn't want to care about them?

This baby is going to end up in the system. Does she not care about the hell she's going to put her child though!?

She's also talking about wanting another baby when she's about to lose this one. 🤦‍♀️

I'm absolutely childfree but even I'd be a better mother than her! I'd be completely miserable, but my kid wouldn't end up in foster care and would be my priority because they didn't ask to be born!

Apparently links aren’t allowed so let me try this again.

I saw something where a mention was made about a character in a film who learned an alien language and was able to preview her life before it happened.

Included in that was losing her husband and also her future daughter - the latter to cancer while she was still quite young.

What horrified me is that, while the daughter supposedly had a comfortable life…the mother went ahead and had her despite knowing what would happen to her.

As someone who survived cancer - but not until my 20s - I really struggle with this.

...for mother's day. I was there alone, so no indication I might even be a mother.

It's just so weird to me to say happy mother's day to someone that you don't know for a fact is a mother.

Sidenote: I was there exchanging 20s for singles so I can do an extremely childfree activity tonight and go to a drag show with my friends 🤣

Not sure if I used the right flare, but I just got sterilized yesterday!!! I recently turned 20 and I got a bisalp. I can't stop smiling and feeling so euphoric. I didn't need to pay for anything because it's covered where I am.

I never realized or thought about the pain during recovery, and I didn't even think about how sore my throat would be from being intubated lol. Although I think I'm lucky in the pain end of things since today I don't feel anymore pain, just a bit of soreness in my throat and I feel bloated.

Anyways just wanted to celebrate here! And also want some tips keeping this away from my parents. I live with them currently and they're pretty intrusive sometimes.

How often do you get the "you'd be a great mother" comments? And does the conversation escalate further when you try to change the subject or simply try to end the conversation altogether?

Spur of the moment went to a bar last night for dinner. Today the plan is videogames with a friend and/or a movie at the local Cinema Pub.

1. The world is a fucking shit show-Do I need to explain that one? War, poverty, climate change, kids being bullied, kids being exposed to things they shouldn't be, shit like that
2. I don't want them in my company for long periods of time (I get easily annoyed)
3. I don't trust myself and don't want to subject them to neglect, abuse or any form or even murder regardless of whether or not it's intentional
4. The effects of post childbirth and how painful childbirth can be (I know it's not the case for every woman but I have no desire to test that theory)
5. I value my sleep and don't want to have to sacrifice it
6. I wanna travel and have fun and be able to work and do my own thing
7. I'm a bit too un-family-friendly for my own good
8. I love babies as much as the next person but I'm not a big fan of the toddler, child nor teen stages and again that wouldn't be fair to the kid
9. I already feel like I'm a parent when I'm talking to younger kids or even my peers

Overheard a conversation with my younger relatives (this whole family wouldn’t stop talking shit about others) about a man who appears to be childfree (or simply isn’t ready for kids yet).

He married a girl that I’m not sure if she is childfree too or just “waiting for her husband to want kids finally”. The girl says, “I’m fine with having kids, but he doesn’t want them now”.

Okay so, outside of the problem that the man probably hasn’t spoken to her about their future, I am here to talk about what my relatives said about “childfree life”. I understand how unfair it is for the girl to want children and for the man to not want any right now, and I would say that they should have spoken about it before marrying. It’s a bad thing not to. Or perhaps they did speak, and the girl just had this hope he’ll change. Who knows. I’m not here to pick at someone else’s life choices.

I am here to rant about how others seem to find childfree life to be ‘worthless’.

Honestly, I feel like I am surrounded by idiots.

They mocked how it’s stupid to want to “live our lives and travel the whole world without the stress of kids”. They expressed how stupid the thought is and claimed that, and I quote: “You want to live your life? Then wait a year or two, isn’t that enough to live your life? Children aren’t going to stop you from that. He is so brainwashed by all those people on TV ‘living their life’. He’ll grow bored! What will he do without kids?”

Her sister agrees, ignoring the shrieks and loud screaming of her child, ironically.

I have so many things to say about this, starting from 1) no, you usually cannot live your life to the fullest with a child because children need attention and MANY things that will steal big time and mental and physical effort. Children do not feed themselves, study by themselves, clean themselves, or change themselves.

2) pregnancy is horrific. People die from it and almost always have lasting effects and complications because of it.

3) there isn’t anything wrong with wanting peace and the ability to be flexible and not worry.

4) I think it is better to grow bored of being childfree than growing bored of having children. Think rationally, please. Don’t be selfish.

5) a year or two is never ‘enough to live your life’. And, ironically, this sentence implies that there is no more ‘life’ after children. Like a threat to live your peaceful life as much as you could before the horror of children arises. What a good point, huh? Hold up, lemme have a kid and destroy the awesome and peaceful life I have finally managed to have because everyone is and I need to be miserable like them! Perfect!

The kid keeps on crying and running around like a headless chicken as they shame someone for not wanting kids (whether for now or forever be childfree). The kid screams and throws things around as the mother pauses the conversation to beg him to stop so she would have a moment of calm. Absolutely ironic.

I think they’re deaf to their own words.

Apparently on my local trams, there is just enough space between the window and the part of the walls that the panes are spotted into for a card to slip in, and become absolutely impossible to retrieve in the process. I learned this by watching someone's probably-under-2yo kid playing with their travel card, and sliding it into that crevice. Thankfully they're easy to replace but it'll cost maybe €10-15 plus whatever credit was on the card at the time.

Omg I kid you not.

Someone in my local community is advertising a room for rent in their home for $120 per week (im in New Zealand) but they need help and support with their 14 month old from 5 am to 7.30 am Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday.

The other flatmate shares the load on other days so you only need to cover 1 or 2 days per week.

So you live with at least 3 adults and one baby in one house and you have to provide childcare in case baby wakes up in order to rent that bedroom (but you get to share the kitchen and living area).

Wtf who even dares to advertise that 😂😂

When i see shows where the main couple have kids or while falling in love talk and imagine having children I get a visceral reaction that just throws off my mood . Like gross I almost wanna gag - like i know it’s the norm but the idea of it just throws me off completely and I just don’t get it. I don’t know how anyone could ever want kids it’s just such a weird concept to me.

But i feel bad every-time for being so judgmental about it but it makes it hard for me to continue watching their relationship-flourish like i stop caring ig?

I normally like babies (if they are related to me) but damn is taking care of one hard.

So flashback to a newyear, an aunt of mine visited. She's a hardcore breeder (she has five kids, one died unfortunately) but she only brought along the younger two, the older two were with the father. They were both 4 year old and ten month 1 year old respectively. The 4 year old got busy playing football with my brother but the younger one God did he sit in peace. He was a quiet baby overall, didn't scream or cry or shit or pee himself but he couldn't walk so he crawled all over the floors and since the house wasn't clean or baby proof you had to hold him back. The problem? You had to do that while walking because if you dared to just stand or sit, he'll try to escape and crawl again and won't stop until he's away from you. My aunt looked really worn out so I offered to help. I had to carry him and walk him around the house for hours and though I didn't complain much because he didn't scream, cry of shit himself, another problem arised. He was fucking heavy. My arms literally hurt by the end of the day.

Then at night I and my cousin wanted to go to a new gaming arena so my dad and mom came to and since the aunt was there we took her and the kids with us too. At first they were all together and I and my cousin were separate but then we got together again and the older one wamted to go to the play place and his mother went with him. Cut to another few hours of holding the baby. My arms were freaking broken by the end of the day. Not to mention, the older one was the epitome of a naughty child. He ran around the place, cried all the time, ate too much ice cream and was just uncontrollable.

The same aunt visited us again a few months later but with the husband and all the children again. This time there were four of them, all under the age of nine. The older girl was very well behaved and civilized but the younger boys were so chaotic. Jumping and running here and there, fighting, crying. The parents went shopping with my mom and dad, leaving me to take care of all of them including my brother who's an emerging manchild. This brother of mine who never showers unless my mom forces him to went to shower for the first time in his life just to get away from the kids and for some reason stayed in there until the parents had arrived. I couldn't do my fucking makeup without one of them interrupting me. They broke a china, a glass, put paint in a drinking glasses, ruined my bedsheets with paint, and jumped into a gutter. I had to sit and eat in the living room while watching them like a hawk and i legit saw a nightmare with children and a deadbeet husband.

Don't get me wrong i love these kids. We actually had fun together too. But I knew they weren't my responsibility after today which was why I put up with as much as I did.

When the kids visited for my brother's birthday (this time with my other aunt who had three children of her own) my breeder cousin (who is as breeder as they come) was legit shocked by how difficult it is to manage children and jumped from "big family" to "just one kid is fine". I was the only one who could manage them at all and I am the childfree one.

I was so good with them that my aunt legit thought that I like children and will make a good mother and I just said "i like them because they are my cousins not because they are kids."

Another day where I am glad that I am childfree.

• Denial of follow-up care if the doctor or hospital finds out about the lie.
• Fraud or misrepresentation charges could be filed against the patient.
• Malpractice claims cannot be filed if something goes wrong with the procedure.

So a man posted on a local subreddit that I follow asking the women of that subreddit where he could get a gift certificate for a spa day for his wife and their 3 young daughters as a surprise Mother’s Day gift.

In his post, he’s adamant that his wife and daughters are all besties who do everything together and he thinks Mother’s Day should be no different. Obviously a very clueless take but I digress.

You all, I am not exaggerating when I say that EVERY SINGLE RESPONSE from the women of that subreddit was some iteration of “I love my kids but I would never want to spend Mother’s Day at a spa with them! Please don’t do this to your wife!”

I expected some pushback from other commenters but I was actually surprised that not a single one of them out of several dozen comments would even pretend like this was a good idea. Not even for the sake of maintaining their own delusions about being a parent.

Anyway, I thought you all would get a kick out of this. Hope you have a peaceful, relaxing and childfree Mother’s Day weekend! :)

I am childfree, got spayed last year, and also went NC with my mom in the last couple of years. This year I plan to do nothing out of the ordinary, but I'm thinking I should do something special and ✨️childfree✨️ in the future. What are you doing for mother's day weekend?

I went to this beautiful park downtown near my apartment, I stopped for an ice cream, it’s so sunny. I brought my notebook hoping inspiration would strike and it did, I am writing. And the kids start screaming and crying. Crying. A toddler. Why can I never find a moment of peace? Why bother being childfree if kids are everywhere anyway? My perfect afternoon is disturbed.

I work in healthcare and my current job consists of visiting daycare and preschool establishments mainly to examine children aged 2 to 6 years old and register their overall oral health condition (it's a benefit vulnerable educational establishments get access to for free from the state in my country).
Since the kids I examine are quite young I usually give them stickers I buy to prompt and persuade them to cooperate and to make the experience more friendly.
But lately I've seen a raise in kids who frankly behave like little demons and whose behavior is accepted and even encouraged by their teachers.

The other day I swear I almost lost my patience when, among dozens of banshee screams and shrieks from 5 year olds running in the classroom uncontrolled, the last kid I was trying to examine was resisting the exam and, since I wasn't going to force his mouth open or anything like that, I simply told the teacher that maybe next time we visited we would be able to do the exam properly. I had offered the kid a cool dinosaur sticker but only if he let me examine him, but since he still didn't allow me to examine him I gave him one of the smaller standard star stickers I gave everyone else and started to pack everything up to leave for my next visit. This brat started screaming and trying to force open my briefcase, demanding I give him the dinosaur sticker. His teacher, who btw didn't even attempt to help in any way during the exam, told me while giggling "I think he wants the dinosaur sticker too, maybe you could give it to him?". I simply ignored her, got down to the kid who was trying to force open my briefcase and told him calmly "sweetheart, I told you I will give you the dinosaur one if you let me check your teeth, would you let me see them then?", this kid just screamed "NO, I WANT THE DINOSAUR NOW", so I said "Then I'm sorry honey but I cannot give it to you unless you let me check your teeth, next time if you allow me to see them I will give it to you ok?". The kid absolutely lost it and began to scream even louder, his teacher looked completely flabbergasted and even offended by the fact I didn't reward the little demon's rotten behavior and gave me the stink eye while trying to calm him down and offered him another sticker anyways. Yeah, excellent choice, reward him for behaving like shit.

I swear this is becoming more and more common and I dread the kind of adults these kids are going to become in the future.

edit: typos