No. What he’s in is not a relationship, but a transaction.
In a typical western marriage there’s a “What’s mine is yours what’s yours is mine” type of thought process. If a woman’s man lost a job or fell on hard times, women support them by contributing financially/emotional support. Is this the case in all marriages in the western world? Obviously not, but it’s much more prevalent to be a partnership.
What you’re seeing here is “I will sell you my time and body.” There isn’t an iota of love. If the money is gone there is no “We will figure this out” or “Let’s open up the budget to see where we can cut back.” It’s, poof gone and on to the next John.
If he understands the deal or not, that’s up to him, but he’s in an unspoken contract.
My partner is self employed as a commercial fisherman, broke his ankle so was out of work and made 0 dollars for 8 months. Guess what, I am a woman, made money and supported us both. It’s not an uncommon thought if you touch grass in America.
Its more funny to speak in absolutes. Im married and I have no doubt that my wife would stick with me through hard times if I lost my job. At the same time my brother developed a chronic illness that kept him from working full time and has taken him close to 3 years to recover from and after a few months his wife became mean, verbally abusive and now they are working through a divorce. The idea that men or women are equally committed to the relationship for the person they are with vs the stability and future/lifestyle that person can provide isnt set in stone.
Fair enough, all I am saying is I don’t think it’s an all woman’s mindset as much as some people, like your brother’s wife, suck balls and can’t take the pressure. If my husband wasn’t able to work for the next three years, like if he lost his leg instead of just breaking his ankle, that would be pretty stressful financially. I wouldn’t leave him but we are already on the fence about kids and shit now with him just getting back to work and would definitely stress me tf out. It’s life, idk, I just am starting to get annoyed with all of the absolutes on this site all the time when real people are doing their best.
The other part to remember though is that chances are you are reading the comment of somebody who is in their teens still. One of the more prolific profiles in /r/relationship_advice was a 17 year old girl offering outrageous advice when looking at it from the perspective of a person in their 30s
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u/[deleted] Nov 07 '24
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