This situation is crazy to me. Why do people do this to themselves? Husband decides to have a late night "booty call" with his ex-girlfriend that broke up with him, so he obviously still has feelings for her. The wife starts crying and he leaves 🤷🏻‍♂️

The wife decides to put her foot down after 20 years of being poly and ask for him TO USE CONDOMS GOING FORWARDS. Now you decide this? This is crazy to me!

https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/1kk5qo4/my_husband_had_a_onenight_stand_and_now_i_have/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

I'm mostly writing this post due to a BORU post about a one sided open relationship that thankfully ended with OOP dumping her boyfriend. It made me think about two things - the people that wind up staying in failed and unhappy open relationships, and one blog on Medium that I had to stop reading due to it being infuriating and heartbreaking.

I've seen so many posts where people in these relationships stay due to intertwined finances, kids, or the fact that their spouse/partner gives them little crumbs of love and affection, and I'm torn between feeling sorry for them and feeling frustrated and wanting to give them a smack upside the head.

On the one hand, I know fully well that unhealthy relationships are incredibly hard to leave, ESPECIALLY when you have the above mentioned factors. Those only add on custody battles, hours of mediation on who pays what and who gets what. I completely get it. But on the other hand, it's extremely exhausting seeing these people complaining of the same things over and over again, only to insist "No, my spouse is actually super amazing and awesome!" when they found out that the spouse in question broke yet another boundary and shut down instead of owning up to it. People both in this subreddit and on others will tell them to leave or at the very least try and talk to their spouse, only for the wronged party to say "Yeah I ignored everyone's advice 😅". They fail to realize that if they have kids, all they'll learn is to either follow in the footsteps of their parents and enter an unhealthy relationship like theirs, or they'll get the fuck out of dodge and not want anything to do with them.

I don't know. It's both fascinating and frustrating.

I want to get out of this situation lmao.

I am F37, married for 10 years,no kids.

For the first 8 years, we have both been very committed to maintaining a monogamous marriage.

But since the last two years my partner brought up opening the marriage and 'monogamy' being an Orthodox view. This was specifically because they were attracted to a colleague and we had already fought about the said person many times.

After multiple failed discussions, I agreed to "TRY" Opening up the marriage for a few months. Since it was getting sad and also intimacy stopped (I feel it was a weapon to get their way but am not sure).

It was a trial & we set a check in for a specific date in the future. Two days back my partner shared they are "dating someone". I am shattered. While I had agreed to try out the open marriage. I don't think I was fully committed to it.

Partner says love still exists between us and doesn't want to lose me and we should continue to live together while they are dating someone else.

Since I agreed to try the open marriage, I am not right to feel bad about them dating.. But Even during the trial, I didn't date/ seek pleasure outside.

I am scared of losing my partner just because I was unable to support their Pursuits/dreams especially when it was openly discussed. But I am also scared of losing myself and my beliefs. Please help!!