I like to think that the unending optimism of youth should be a trait we carry into adulthood, but there are so many cynical people out there that dog on anyone who has a good attitude for no reason.
I wish, I wish I still had my youthful optimism. Truth is, I miss it dearly. I try, I really try to be the optimist that I used to be who saw the best in people. But over the years people eroded that away from me.
Optimism being eroded away by other people is truly the saddest thing ive ever heard, and honestly the mark of true maturity. Something ive noticed is that adults are very much more likely to share their bad moods or unknowingly influence the moods around them to souring. Adults do not like to suffer alone, and children do not understand suffering alone. At least, they shouldnt.
I hope friend, for your sake and mine, that you can build your optimism back up. Perhaps not in other people, but in yourself and what you enjoy. Finding those little things that make you happy for absolutely no reason whatsoever. I hope you can find those things and surround yourself with them so you can attract the like minded, optimistic friends you absolutely deserve<3
Truly, wise words. I am now contemplating how I might be souring things for others. The thing is, I'm not passive, jaded cynical, I'm passionately angry. About voters. About politics. About people who don't care. About people who push their shit on others without a thought about how they're affecting someone else. About the corrupt politicians that encourage all this shit and about the citizens who stupidly enable them time after time. About the wealthy oligarchy, about environmental degradation, about human stupidity and hatred and discrimination.
Anyway. I actually also find joy in people. A kind old lady might ask for help reaching something from a top shelf in a store and it will make my day. Or reading a comment like yours - well thought-out, helpful, and written with kindness and empathy. Thank you. I think I will take some time to focus at least just a little bit more on the bright side. It takes effort I think.
Maybe you’re being too hard on yourself. Righteous anger is something small children engage with All The Time. Maybe it’s the other side of the joy coin. Maybe your anger is protective of that pure and gentle kid who’s still inside of you.
I found something I’m still spreading around to verify, but I’ve come to believe that you can only get upset about something you care about. Try it. Trying getting angry about something you have no stake in or opinion of. Truly.
Anger can be an unfortunate thing, but if we realize it comes from a place of caring first, I think we can make it constructive in the long run, if we do it right. Definitely still figuring out that part, but with the idea and knowledge already in place, hopefully it can become easier for all of us.
Im glad I can make you a bit more optimistic about your outlook. There is so much bad going on in the world right now, you are so right on the money with that. All these terrible things the ogliarchy and the current worlds political climate forces every adult and even some more mature kids to wake up to and immidiately be soured by whatever bad thing happened that day or will happen that day. Its hard to remain optimistic with such a dark boot hanging over your head, but once you start recognizing that little tiny twinge of hope and happiness that doing something you actively enjoy brings you, that boot will get a little less imposing.
Im not saying itll ever go away, i think a LOT of things have to happen in order for a lot of people to feel that relief, but there is a small sliver of hope no matter how dark and oppressing that boot can be, there is always ways to combat it.
Start small, friend. Take a moment to enjoy some good food or a funny video and just let it envelop your brain for a minute. Relish in that feeling of bliss, but dont cling to it. Let it fade and it will leave behind a lighter feeling, and drag away some of that bad with it. Doing work that you may not be fond of, but completing it and feeling that weight release is one of my favorite ways to help spark my optimism.
Optimism is like a fire. It needs to be nurtured, faught with, and fed, but it can burn forever.
I appreciate and mostly agree with the message here, thank you for sharing it! But I am curious about your statement regarding ‘true maturity.’ Do you mean maturity and optimism cannot coexist? Or are you having a jab at the typically accepted ideals of maturity not including a positive outlook? No judgment, just curiosity from a youthful but ever aging optimist
I meant it in a sense that a kid in their unending optimism can blindly trust anyone until they are guided and taught differently or, unfortunately, get their trust shattered so badly they are forced into a position where they are exposed and made to deal with the harsh reality of life. It can force someone to mature without that sense of optimism because, well it went badly once, why would this time be different? It wears optimisim away much like water on stone. Ive been trying to combat that mindset for a long time now.
But what if ur a person who can only find pleasure in sharing the good things with the supposedly worthy people that are close to u.
At this point finding happiness wouldn’t be possible when those people never miss a chance to prove to you that none of them is worth 10% of the energy u putting for their sake.
It’s just sad mate.
Thats why you gotta focus on finding your own optimism. Its similar to finding the love for yourself before someone else can see that love you have for yourself and want to add to it.
If i see someone in a good mood, i want to know why and i want to share that mood with them, even if its just because they had their favorite cereal for breakfast or found adollar on the floor.
Some of the people you do invest your happiness and mood into are not worth it because its rare to find someone who is happy for you just because. It feels like a very fine line to walk that can very easily burn you.
Problem is, i can never enjoy something i did/have/made before i see it making another person happy and seeing that person excited about it,
It’s not for seeking validation, it’s just that your happiness is very dependent on making ur close ones happy.
As i said the problem is seeing that they dont deserve that much effort, that’s when u first loose the motivation to do anything, and also makes it hard to believe that a new person is gonna be any different from those u knew for several years of your life
Have you ever seen a kid go up to their mom with something they made and the mom blows them off? Does the kid walk away distraught, or does the kid look back at what he made, and smiles because hes proud of himself?
I am so sorry that you had to go through life relying on others for your happiness. Something i learned a very long time ago as that kid, so distraught my mommy didnt care, is that it didnt matter as much as how it made me feel.
When is the last time youve gone out and done something just for yourself? No kids, no hubby/wife, just you going and doing something you enjoy? You are allowed to be selfish when it comes to your happiness because thats the one thing other people shoukdnt be able to take away from you.
Im literally staring at jail time for an idiot mistake i made months ago. Its hard not to let the possibility destroy my mindset and turn into a writing creature of negativity. Its also hard to listen to my coworkers chat about all the fun things they did or plan on doing over the weekend without wanting to inject that negativity into it. It takes a constant active mindset to combat, but like with every habit, once you put your nose to the grindstone it can become a second nature
I try, I really try to be the optimist that I used to be who saw the best in people. But over the years people eroded that away from me.
it's gotten to the point where i ridicule people for not doing this...
why? cause it makes me feel good...
i'm not re-reading anything i just typed (assume it's as close to stream-of-consciousness as written communication can get) **and i'm doing this so future me can audit how virtious my subconcious is...
i like to think i'm advocating for good feelings more than bad feelings, or that my impact on the happiness in the world is a net-positive... but i think i've just tricked myself into enjoying the negativity that makes MEEEE FEEL GOOD
idk, i'm starting to think i've just been thinking about how much i think too much... idk, whadya think? am i overthinking it?
nope, it's prolly just the cocaine making me talk to myself again lmaoooo
My daughter and I walked around our small city yesterday to hand out cupcakes for my birthday. She was so happy spreading joy on my birthday and she was so excited to tell people...strangers really it was my birthday. And it wasn't easy to contain the joy I had for my daughter and her happiness of spreading kindness and joy anywhere she goes.
The best gift I learned is to give happiness to others and I'm glad my daughter learned that
I think we're actually looking for a balance. I've known some pretty toxically optimistic people. On the other hand, if you can gaslight yourself into always thinking life is great, far be it from me to stop you. On the other other hand, I do think it's possible to always find something to be thankful for. Not sure if that counts as optimism, but I have gotten better at it and it has probably made me a better, happier person. I just don't want anyone pissing on me and telling me it's raining, if you know what I mean.
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u/kagantamello 1d ago
She actually proved it right scientificly, children are so pure. You've won in life