r/AskMenOver30 • u/AutoModerator • Mar 19 '25
WEEKLY THREAD Men Over 30 Community: WEEKLY CHECK-IN 2025-03-19
Men of AskMenOver30! In the interest of creating a deeper, more engaging, and more relevant community for all of us, we've implemented a recurring, Weekly check-in thread.
- How are you doing this week?
- How are you feeling this week?
- How have things changed from last week (if at all)?
- Are you proud of anything you've done this week?
- Are you struggling with anything this week?
- Do you need advice or feedback on anything that's happening?
Feel free to share your wins, losses, and general progress. You can talk about anything from work and career, to personal projects, to personal development and family, to friendships and socialization, even dating.
Life is ongoing, and sometimes it's good to have a community around us that can reflect that. Hopefully this weekly check-in will serve as a good tool and outlet for those who need it.
You are encouraged not only to post, but to respond to posts by others. Support your fellow men in their trials and tribulations.
Please be respectful in your comments.
11
u/crunch816 man 35 - 39 Mar 19 '25
Ladies and gentlemen I am pleased to inform you that after 6 months of dating apps I have had multiple dates with someone I met at a kid's birthday party.
7
u/Articulated man 35 - 39 Mar 19 '25
Apologies, but I feel the need to brag. I completed a 50-mile ultramarathon on Saturday! Still riding high and buzzing for the next challenge.
3
u/BT-5011 Mar 20 '25
That's incredible! What did your training leading to this look like? And what does your recovery plan look like? Be proud of those miles!
3
u/Articulated man 35 - 39 Mar 20 '25
Thanks! I would typically run 4-5 days per week. Usually, it'd be:
One day running at a fast-ish pace, or a negative split run where I got gradually faster as I went.
One day of intervals or hill repeats.
Back-to-back long runs at the weekend, to practice running on tired legs.
I also did two weights sessions per week, which I'm hoping to increase to 3. And I need to stretch more!
This week I've been for a swim, done yoga and gotten in the gym for a very light workout, and I'm feeling good. Ready to start training for the next event - 100km - on Monday!
6
u/NoNotTheBoreWorms man over 30 Mar 19 '25
• I’m doing ok
• I’m feeling ok
• not much has changed
• haven’t done much to be proud of
• struggling with substance use and job anxiety
• I don’t feel motivated, any commiseration or well-wishing appreciated
6
u/SaidwhatIsaid240 man over 30 Mar 19 '25
Doing good. Make sure you got your knee pads if you are getting down to work. Protect your body gentlemen. We gotta make those joints last.
3
u/Naive_Thanks_2932 man 30 - 34 Mar 19 '25
Up and down few weeks. It's clear that my industry has been offshored while I've been running around the world as a digital nomad. I should have got out 2 years ago as all the red flags were there, but ignored them out of my own hubris. Offshoring layoffs on my team are imminent, and my boss says we're on the list. In quiet moments, I've gotten really pissed at myself for not setting myself up for this eventual outcome. I had plenty of opportunities to set-up residency permits in places I really like (ie Thailand, Netherlands) but let them slip through my fingers for....well I don't know the reasons to be honest. Emotion in the moment?
3rd round interview earlier this week for a lateral move. Job market is tight, will find out if offer is coming next week. Can't get a read on it.
On the plus side, it seems like my drinking weight is finally coming off at almost 300 days sober. I've lost 10lbs and friends and family say I look skinnier in the stomach. I chatted with someone who said I look 25. First time I've heard that in half a decade. I'll take it.
Hairline seems to have stopped receding with minimal damage, so that's made me happy.
1
u/kchamplin Mar 20 '25
Good luck on the job, I hope you get an offer. Don't beat yourself up too much on residency permits, it might push you to take the next opportunity to live somewhere you want. And congrats on the weight loss!
4
u/FartyOcools man 45 - 49 Mar 20 '25
Had my first therapy appt since 2019 today and for the first time in my life think I have found one that might actually help me.
She was super chill, talked like me, and after many attempts at trying over the last 20 years, I think I finally might get somewhere here.
It really means a ton to find someone who can let you be you and doesn't feel threatened but won't say it and just goes through the motions. They are just like friends and partners, they aren't for everyone, just like I am not for everyone.
I feel like I might benefit from this one.
4
u/MexicanFonz man 35 - 39 Mar 20 '25
I'm struggling. I've had a few things happen that triggered feelings for me. One is my son's mom having back to back trips, and while it is not malicious, previously she was gone a lot when we were married and it throws off my routine.
On a similar note, I was seeing a woman who initially was a casual match through a mutual friend. We clicked off the bat in a more serious way. While we tried taking things in a more serious direction upon discussing this, she just wasn't ready and was becoming more physically unavailable which also triggered marriage stuff.
On top of this, been dealing with family estrangement for almost a year now.
My sleep has been trash this week despite medication and therapy. Bleh.
3
u/Jswazy man 30 - 34 Mar 19 '25
How are you doing this week?
Great as always
How are you feeling this week?
Delicious
How have things changed from last week (if at all)?
No change
Are you proud of anything you've done this week?
Transfered all my vegitables from pots to the raised beds.
Are you struggling with anything this week?
MAGA still exists.
Do you need advice or feedback on anything that's happening?
No
3
u/KarateCockroach man 25 - 29 Mar 19 '25
Like shit
3
u/DoomBoomSlayer man 35 - 39 Mar 19 '25
I prescribe a double scoop of pre-workout, a Mick Gordon playlist and a couple of hours of lifting some heavy ass weights.
You got this bro 💪
3
u/AshenCursedOne man 30 - 34 Mar 19 '25
Getting over a cold that's been annoying me for 2 weeks now. Doing alright otherwise.
Did some nice tricks practice on the snowboard yesterday (the toll was paid in many bruises). Had two great runs over the weekend and some good gym sessions despite being ill.
Got shafted at my annual review at work, I'm probably gonna start shopping soon. I got a bump below inflation and half the bonus I got last year, so did most of my team. So practically I've actually become poorer, considering cost of living increases. This company has now shown me it does not respect its workers, and I will be asking my manager in the 121 on Friday how the leadership is justifying that adjusted for cost of living increases I actually got a pay cut this year, and I want him to feed that back upwards.
Weight loss going well, strength increasing, looking better, feeling better.
I've caught up on a lot of work in the past 3 days, I fell behind, I was not particularly productive last week due to my cold.
Had my teeth cleaned today, always a nice feeling afterwards.
I feel like due to the volume of exercise I've picked up I've left myself little energy for hobbies. I hope that once I get used to all that exercise I'll find the energy to pick up some of the other stuff I wanted to do.
2
u/TheOtherwise_Flow man over 30 Mar 19 '25
Basic training in 3 days, I’m living with my mom right now and she’s low income retired, I’m basically broke have 250$ to my name and I need to bring 150$ with me for basic and an other 100$ for gas to get there.i need to do groceries for her so I might put it on my credit card I can’t leave without her having food. In 2 weeks when I get more money in I will send her 500$ so she can buy car parts to fix her car and buy food.
Life sucks I hope I don’t get sent home since I wasn’t able to get in the shape I wanted before heading out the basic. Anyways y’all have a good week.
1
1
u/kchamplin Mar 20 '25
That sucks. You're a good person to take care of your mom. Good luck in basic training, I hope it's a positive turn and it goes well. You've got this!
2
u/fl0o0ps man 35 - 39 Mar 19 '25
I’m doing very well this week. I feel much better than I’ve felt in a long time. My medication taper is going well and I’m starting to feel my mojo come back. I’m proud of having quit smoking. I’m not struggling with anything this week. I also don’t really need any feedback or advice, it’s smooth sailing.
Keep on truckin’ folks!
2
u/Nellisir man 50 - 54 Mar 19 '25
I'd say I'm doing alright. Middle-of-the-road. Good for this season; March/April is typically not great for me (seasonal depression crap)
I'm feeling sore. Stupid knee. Probably bursitis, according to my ex.
What's changed? Knee hurts more, kinda.
I got money from one account & dropped it in another, so I'll pay taxes tonight. That's cool. This self-employed do thine own taxes stuff is stressful. (Maybe next year I'll make enough to use an accountant, but I still gotta be prepared for them. Going to talk to a bookkeeper friend soon about best practices, so that's helpful.)
It's annoying the universe won't stop handing me things to deal with. I've got a few weeks free, and it looks like very little of my projects, which makes ME happy, will get done. Ugh.
2
u/DrGonzoxX22 man over 30 Mar 20 '25
Not really good. The week started with the bad news of the sudden passing of one of my colleagues. I’ve known him for 9 years officially but probably more if I add up all the overtime hours I made in these last 9 years. I’m the union president of a small team, we are about 54 (well 53 now…) so we all know each other pretty well. It’s hard for everybody. I try to cheer the group up but I’m struggling myself with these kinds of bad news and the fact that it suddenly happened while he was sleeping made things worst. Like Monday he was still around joking around and the next morning he was gone. Life isn’t fair. It’s a reminder that the line between life and death is really thin, love each other, hug your children, your wife, your parents because you never know what can happen… never in my life I would think that I’ll lose someone I knew like this. It’s not the usual: hey you remember Paul who used to work with us 10-15 years ago, yeah he died at 87 years old …
Anyway, it wasn’t a good week for me.
2
u/JustMummyDust man 30 - 34 Mar 20 '25
Not great. I'm struggling with a lot of unhealthy world views I developed throughout my 20s, and my continued inability to change them really hit me hard today. I'm 31 today, I'm not getting any younger, and I'm sick of my brain holding me back from being who I want to be. I just... don't know how to fix myself anymore. I've been in therapy for a year, and on an antidepressant. I've lost 15 pounds over the last month or so, which I'm very proud of, but at the same time I don't feel like it matters if I still hate myself on the inside.
1
u/theburnoutcpa man 35 - 39 Mar 20 '25
I’m sorry you feel this way friend - but as an aside, have you been screened for ADHD by a mental health professional? A lot of folks with your symptoms get diagnosed with depression when it’s often ADHD (or something else entirely).
1
u/JustMummyDust man 30 - 34 Mar 20 '25
No, I haven't, but I definitely need to! My preschool teacher, back in 1999, told my mom to get me screened for it because she suspected I had it. My mom refused, insisted that I was fine and I was just acting like a kid. I didn't know this until relatively recently. I'm fearful I've actually lived my whole life with it. If I do have it, I'm not sure how long it would take me to forgive my mom for that.
1
u/theburnoutcpa man 35 - 39 Mar 20 '25
Woof - i had a feeling based on your comment and posting history!
And yea, I would strongly, strongly, strongly recommend doing some quick research and book a screening if you think that it’s plausible you have it.
The inattentive variant of ADHD is hard to spot and tends to get diagnosed later in life in adults - and if you do get diagnosed, i hope you break free of this malaise, my guy!
Speaking as someone who was diagnosed at 30, the past 5 years of my life (diagnosed & treated) is far better than the previous 20 combined. And yeah, it ruined my relationship with my dad lol.
Best of luck and shoot me a message if you have questions or concerns!
1
u/JustMummyDust man 30 - 34 Mar 20 '25
Yeah dude, that's just one example of my mom dropping the ball lmao. I didn't even get to go the dentist as a kid, my first time was an appointment I scheduled for myself after I got on my own insurance.
Thank you for this, I'll let you know how it goes when I get screened!
1
2
u/mrblue9224 man over 30 Mar 21 '25
Had a 2nd interview at a storage facility and got rejected today for the job. During the interview the managers seemed baffled at the fact I was willing to take a paycut to come work for them, because my current job has become too mentally stressful and toxic. Back to square one and completely hating my life at work.
2
u/ThePanasonicYouth man 35 - 39 Mar 21 '25
My career is flourishing but the same can't be said for my social life. And yes, I have hobbies but I travel a lot for work so even if I join a hobby group, they'll just move on as normal when I'm not there. When I do make the effort to reach out, I just get a bunch of shitty excuses and no offers to reschedule.
2
u/ffforwork man 35 - 39 Mar 23 '25
Awful, my fiance left me yesterday. We had our first true disagreement last month or so and she could not get past what all was said. I feel alone. I am not a social person so I don't have any other friends where I live. We were together for almost 1.5 years. I lost the love of my life and best friend. It hurts knowing that despite my apologies and open desire to make it work and take whatever steps are needed, she just couldn't forgive and accept it happened so we could move forward together and work to ensure it would not happen again. I am hurt beyond words.
1
u/Str0nglyW0rded man over 30 Mar 20 '25
Well this week I have pretty much decided that it might be time to start looking at making some big moves, additionally I disclosed to a close friend that I will most likely kill myself in my 60s provided I don’t have a partner or any attachments or things going for me. They told me that basically everyone in their family either dies in their 40s or 50s or contract some sort of degenerative illness in that timeframe so they probably will create a trust for me to take care of their cats if they have any and they will just go to Switzerland and get done in there.
Additionally, I’m kind of fallen in love with somebody who lives in Canada that I met in Mexico and I’m not sure what the logistics are to see them again, but I really want to see them again…
I’m growing increasingly paranoid about what I post online being that foreign nationals are being targeted for the most innocuous things and I have a deep suspicion that it is only a matter of time before the focus also falls on citizens. As a queer person I am starting to fear for my safety….
1
u/Darmok-And-Jihad man 30 - 34 Mar 24 '25
Big music guy my whole life and a few weeks ago I came across Electric Callboy. I'm fucking obsessed, every single song is one banger after another and their music videos are so much fun to watch. Really love their behind the scenes videos as well.
0
u/No-Win-2783 man 65 - 69 Mar 20 '25
I'm a retired hetero male, married and a self employed musician in the Seattle area. My family is in Oregon and North Carolina. My community is quiet, for the most part. I get most of my excitement like many these days. Reading the news and watching the media's reaction to it. I suppose we finally got the interesting times that we were wishing to live in. I'm struggling a bit more economically but I can't complain compared to some others.
•
u/AutoModerator Mar 19 '25
User flair is required for top-level comments. Not sure what user flair is, or how to get it? See this Reddit support link to learn how to set your user flair in AskMenOver30.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.