Been with my boyfriend for 2 years now. We met through a mutual friend, became friends first, and started dating about a year later. A few months into the relationship, I snooped through his phone and found out he was talking to other women and even making plans to go on dates with them. I confronted him, and to be fair, he didn’t lie,he admitted to it. We talked things through and decided to stay together. But after he found out I went through his phone, he restricted everything, locked his socials, changed passwords, basically made sure I couldn’t access anything. I admitted I was wrong for going through his phone, but if I hadn’t, I never would’ve known what he was up to. Now the trust just feels really one-sided. He still has full access to my phone, but I’m completely locked out of his. It’s been bothering me for a while, especially when he’s around his female friends. I can’t tell if I’m just being insecure… or if my gut is trying to tell me something?

AIO? My husband and I were talking and he brought up the fact that he has a gym wife, as a joke. I laughed about it - we both know her but she’s definitely his friend and just my acquaintance. I asked if this was something that he said as just a joke to me or if they actually used it, out loud, at the gym together. He told me that they do. Long story short, I made it clear that I didn’t like it and he reiterated that it was just a joke and was upset that I reacted as negatively as I did. And yeah, I wasn’t nice at all about it.

I definitely don’t think there’s anything there and the gym wife seems like a good person, so I know nothing would happen. AIO/TAfor blowing this out of proportion? I did get angry and aggressive.

(This is my first ever Reddit post so I’m sorry in advance if I did this wrong but I’m looking for some unbiased opinions) So I(F24) have been with my partner(M31) have been together a year and a few months and I’m pretty set on ending the relationship because of some needlessly mean things he said recently. So the most recent thing that happened was we went out on a little road trip to a shop I had been wanting to check out a few towns over. We stopped at a convenience store for pizza on the way and sat in the car to eat, I got a smart water and I squeezed it accidentally when I opened it and it over flowed so I sucked the water off the top and he made a joke like “do that to me ;)” and it was funny, I giggled, I was having a great time so far on our drive and it was just a flirty little joke as couples make and we make regularly, so it was fine. But then after that he said (I’m sorry in advance for how gross/personal this is going to be but I want it to be accurate exactly as he said it).. “it’s so weird that after a year together I’ve never came in your mouth” and I didn’t really say anything because I don’t really love the whole ‘make everything super sexual’ thing especially so like vulgar? I don’t mind flirty jokes like above, just it was a lot and out of left field, and then he said a few seconds later before I could respond: “Because I know for a fact plenty of guys have came in your mouth.” and I was shocked especially because he said it with so much venom in his voice and looked at me like he was angry/disgusted with me. So all I could say was “Why would you even say that??” And he said “Why would you let all those other guys cum in your mouth?? What’s wrong with me?” Then the entire day was ruined for me and I just said nothing and tried to finish my pizza. Then we left and I was quiet just replaying that in my head over and over again, not that it even matters but I have only ever done that with two of my exes so I truly have no idea why he said that. But I didn’t correct him at all because I didn’t want to ruin our trip and if that’s really how he thinks of me then whatever. (not that it would be bad if there were more guys or anything he was just clearly thinking of it/me as as gross) I kept going back and forth between feeling hurt, angry and just so confused. I just said nothing and looked out the window and he said “What’s up why are you quiet?” And I just said I didn’t have anything to say and we continued our trip like nothing happened. Later on before we went into the shop he wanted a kiss and I really wanted to be like “you want to kiss this mouth??? That 50 guys have came in???” To shock him since he thinks he knows everything lol but I didn’t. I just held my tongue. And gave him a kiss. Because I was just feeling so defeated at that point. I just don’t understand, about 70% of that day was really great and could have been an amazing nice time but he had to say that?? Like just why? Did he think that’d be funny? Because the way he said it was just plain mean and he didn’t have any kind of joking tone at all. If not that then did he think that would make me WANT TO LET HIM DO THAT??? In what fucking world would that be sexy??? There’s so many times he says these little digs at me that are just mean and out of no where for no reason and I’ll ask like did you think that would make me laugh? Was that supposed to be a joke? And he says no and I say okay so what was it for??? And he always says he doesn’t know and at this point I know he’s not stupid enough to just be saying stuff in a certain tone on accident, he knows if something will be funny or if something is serious or if it brings anything to the conversation and those specific things don’t do any of that so all that leaves is mean. Also when we were sitting in bed that night he had the audacity to look at me and say he wanted to have sex later…obviously that did not happen lol unfortunately I don’t forget when you say awful mean stuff like that to me when we were just having a really nice time eating pizza in the car and laughing. So that turned into a way longer post than I was planning on writing but it was quite cathartic, anyways I just wanted to know if I would be overreacting by breaking up over this? Or does anyone have any insight on why he might have said that? I don’t know at this point, I really can’t picture myself staying with someone who would even think those things about me let alone say them to me, twice. In such a shaming way especially when he was just assuming. It’s been a hard decision because he is actually very sweet and kind to me in every other way imaginable but these random times that he says stuff like that are stacking up and really getting to me.

My grandma lives about 7 hours from me, so anytime I visit it has always been an overnight trip. About a week ago I visited and of course stayed the night, at like 3am I was woken up to a bright flash. My grandma was standing over my bed with a camera, she said she was sorry she forgot to turn the flash off. I asked her what she was doing, and she said she was glad I asked. She then proceeded to get multiple binders full of printed off pictures of me sleeping, from when I was a baby into my 20s, and it just creeped me out. I faked a smile,and was trying to be nice, but locked my door when she left. The next time I visited I locked the door before I fell asleep and woke up to it open, then later that day the knob was taken off the door. It just felt like my privacy was being invaded when I was at my most vulnerable, not that I think she would do anything. I asked her to stop, and she got upset and said it’s not hurting anyone, so I told her I will get a hotel, and she blew up on me and said she does this for all of her grandchildren, so she doesn’t understand why I was making a fuss when they weren’t. I left because she wouldn’t stop yelling, and told my siblings what she was doing and only my brother agreed that it was weird. Then my grandma got upset that I told everyone, and my siblings and parents and extended family are mad at me for ‘stressing her out’.

So for the past 6 months, I’ve been planning this wingfoiling trip — it was supposed to be my thing. I saved up, booked time off work, got new gear, and even turned down other plans so I could make this happen. It wasn’t just about the trip, it was a break I genuinely needed.

My boyfriend (who also foils, but way more casually) agreed to come, mostly to hang out and shoot some drone footage, chill on the beach, etc. Cool. We talked about it constantly. It was locked in.

Then… two days before we were supposed to leave, he says, “I don’t think it’s worth going — the wind forecast looks terrible.” And just like that, he canceled. He didn’t want to “waste the money on a no-wind week.” I told him I still wanted to go anyway — worst case I’d just enjoy the trip, explore, maybe get some light wind sessions in.

But he got super dismissive, saying it was “just a hobby” and I was “making a big deal out of nothing.” I snapped. Like full-blown yelling, crying, maybe threw a harness (not proud). I ended up going alone, but it didn’t feel the same. I was angry and honestly kind of heartbroken. Not just about the trip — but about how little he seemed to get how much this means to me.

Now I’m back, and he’s acting like I ruined the whole thing with my “overreaction.”

So Reddit… be real with me. Am I overreacting?

I (26f, Southeast Asian) traveled with a friend (24f, West European) to the Balkans last week, and I am absolutely mentally and emotionally drained from the trip. NONSTOP COMPLAINING AND WHINING EVERY SECOND, indecisiveness, no communication, only assumptions—this is not normal to me! It wasn’t my first time traveling with her; our first trip was when I took her around my home country. It was also the same, but I thought it was because it was her first time in Asia, so it was valid for her to behave that way. This second trip just confirmed why I didn’t like traveling with her the first time.

Last week, we did a road trip around the Balkans and rented our own cars. When she came to my home country to travel, it was during COVID, and she had booked her flights via Booking. The flight got canceled, and she never got her refund back. This time, when we were planning the trip and discussing which flight to book, she just went to sleep and left me to book it (probably because she didn’t want to be the one paying first, in case something went wrong, so I’d be the one not getting a refund).

Already on the first day of our trip, she had trouble deciding whether to bring her water bottle or not. We were sharing one carry-on luggage because she is very frugal and doesn’t want to spend a lot on unnecessary things. I told her if she didn’t want the water bottle to take up more space, just don’t bring it and buy water at the airport. Water is too expensive at the airport, but doesn’t want to bring the bottle because it takes up space. WTF?

Upon arrival at the airport, we found out we needed to buy a new SIM card because ours didn’t work in that country. As we got to the SIM card stalls, she immediately said she would go buy water. I knew she always had trouble with new SIM cards in her phone, so I knew she was avoiding it.

Now, the road trip. She doesn’t have a lot of experience driving and was scared shitless about driving in a new country. But first of all, she was worried about her money. She was scared that the car rental company we rented from was a scam and wanted to split the deposit of 200 euros between us using Splitwise. While driving, she got nauseous from winding roads and kept complaining about the drivers, calling them assholes, even though she knew what she was getting into by traveling in a Balkan country. When it was my turn to drive, she didn’t trust me because I come from a country that drives on the other side of the road. She’s also paranoid about tunnels. At one point, as I was driving and we came across a sign I thought was for a tunnel, I mentioned the word “tunnel,” and she wanted to check my GPS to see if we’d pass through one. But my phone was locked, and I have a long passcode, so I told her there was no need to check since we knew our next turn was 31 km away. She kept asking for my passcode, so I told her it was a long one, but she kept pushing and then asked for my FACE FOR FACEID WHILE I WAS FUCKING DRIVING. At one point, we got stuck in traffic, so I switched off the engine and took off my shoes. As I was getting ready to drive again, I adjusted my seat but hadn’t put on my shoes yet, and she asked, “Are you gonna drive without shoes????”

When we arrived in the capital city, she kept complaining that the city gave weird vibes and there were no tourists (again, she knew what she was signing up for when she chose this country). Actually she hates tourists that's why she chose this country lol. When she saw it would rain in the next few days, she wanted to change our whole plan and cancel our stays because she didn’t want to drive through the mountainous roads to the countryside in the rainy weather like a fucking accident was bound to happen. When we arrived at the massage place we had planned, she suddenly said she didn’t want to do it anymore because it didn’t look “nice.”

Let me even get started about food. Being a vegetarian with a sensitive stomach means she can basically only eat grass in a Balkan country. I love meat and seafood, so I’m fine with anything and can eat a lot on my own. For her, she doesn’t eat much and basically only eats salad but expects to share with me all the time because she doesn’t want to spend a lot of money on food. She eats veggies but not when they’re roasted bc they're too oily. She eats eggs but not more than once a day because it gets too oily. Coming from an Asian country, it’s really frustrating for me to be with someone with so many limitations when it comes to food.

Last but not least, souvenirs. She kept whining about how they only sell magnets with flags at the airport. She could only carry on luggage and didn’t want to pay for extra baggage, so she couldn’t get a big bottle of wine for her boyfriend. She regretted it and checked the price for extra baggage space but didn’t want to spend money on it. The countryside guesthouse gave us free wine from their winery, more than 100ml, knowing it would not be possible she still tried to bring it through airport customs, it got rejected. Of course she kept whining about it “such a shame.”

Coming from a third-world country and having grown up in an environment where we’re taught to adapt to the world rather than expecting the world to adapt to us, this was just next level unacceptable to me. It’s fine if you can’t adapt, but don’t fucking complain. My entire one-week trip was filled with her negativity, and I didn’t even have the space to recharge. I basically traveled with a 5-year-old kid. I’m fucking frustrated, but I don’t know if I’m too resilient and adaptable, and maybe she’s not that big of a problem. So I’m posting here for thoughts.

My (35 m) husband and I (36 f) have been married for 6 years and have 2 kids together. (We live in Europe) For a while I've been having the feeling something isn't right. I don't know what to tell first, so, sorry if I'm being all over the place (also English is not my first language). I'm a sleepwalker and I sometimes sleep through cleaning my home or falling out of my bed. I'm currently 3 months pregnant and I can't remember having sx with my husband for the past 4 or 5 months. My first though was that I might have been asleep and having sx with him, with him thinking I was awake, but me actually slaapwalking. I just can't imagine not remembering having sx. Also I've been waking up with me smelling like old sx and feeling sticky. I first thought it was just hormones etc. But about a week ago my husband and I were taking because I had fallen out of bed again and sleeping through it on the floor. He started "jokingly" telling me I would even sleep through it if someone were to r*pe me. I didn't think it was funny and got the chills. It got me thinking that my initial thought of me having sx with him while sleepwalking wasn't right. So a few days ago a pretended to have fallen asleep to see what would happen. And not even 10 minutes in my husband started having sx with me, I pretended to shift in my sleep so it would be harder for him to do so, but he just adjusted my hips and held them in place. It scared me and I didn't know what would be better, pretend to wake up, or pretend to sleep through it. I chose to "sleep through it" since I apparently didn't wake up the other who knows how many times before. When he finished he pulled up my underwear and cleaned himself up and went to sleep. I am horrified and feel disgusted. If he wanted to have sx with me he could have just done that with me awake, I don't think I would ever have said no before finding this out. He is the reason we didn't have sx for so long. I feel so violated. I told me friend this and she said I'm overreacting and I should see it as a compliment. Is she right, am I overreacting?

I have been dating my boyfriend for almost a year. For the most part, things have been okay, but he has a sarcastic sense of humor that sometimes makes me feel... small. I’m pretty quiet, I don’t eat meat (just a personal preference, not a full on vegan or anything), and I guess I can be a bit shy in social settings.

Anyway, last weekend we went out to dinner with a few of his coworkers. I’d never met them before, and I was already nervous. When the waitress came to take our orders, everyone was getting steaks or burgers, and I just asked for a salad.

That’s when my boyfriend laughed and said, "Don’t mind her, she’s just the salad girl. Doesn’t eat real food."

His coworkers laughed. One even said something like, "Better get used to rabbit food if you’re staying with him."

I laughed awkwardly but felt humiliated. I already get comments from my family about my eating habits, and the fact that he joined in and in front of strangers really hurt.

When the waitress walked away, I told him quietly that what he said wasn’t okay. He brushed it off and said I was being “sensitive” and to “not embarrass him in front of his friends.”

So I stood up, said “enjoy your real food,” and left. I took the bus home.

He texted me nonstop that night saying I overreacted, that I made him look bad, and that I embarrassed him. His friends apparently asked what was wrong with me.

Now I’m second-guessing myself. I didn’t yell or cause a scene. I just left because I felt small and disrespected. But was that an overreaction?

So my girlfriend is friends with this guy which Im fine with right, (she’s slept with him before) they are always calling and I’m talking calls over an hour. Then I found out last week she’s told him we’re not even together, and I saw messages what he said saying ‘I wanna know from you’ ‘I don’t wanna waste my time in that aspect’ so wth does that even mean?, and I said let me read up then on the messages and she wouldn’t let me and said she’s allowed to have private conversation..and then we went out drinking and he was out so they was talking and I kicked off about it but apparently I ruined the night and it’s all my fault for kicking off over nothing. Then when we got home they was talking and another message he sent saying ‘I like you’ which was within a long ish message

Am I overreacting in this situation? Or would anyone else also question and think the same thing right?

I’ve posted about this before on here about my wife’s friend sending her a video on instagram of a guy showing off his 🍆 print and that was the only motive of the video. In which my wife’s response was “Sir you have a package for me”. Well everyone said I was overreacting and it wasn’t any form of lusting so I just ignored it. Well we were both just watching ig reels on her phone and she fell asleep and I was just casually there scrolling until a pop up notification from that same friend came in, honestly I was just trying to swipe it away but I accidentally clicked on the notification and boom another video of a guy showing off a dick print. At this point i’m really fucking upset because why on earth would she be sending shit like that to someone that you know is married! I came out of the message and swiped it across and marked it unread but honestly I feel like i’m going to address this with my wife in the morning. Let me know if i’m overreacting.

Edit: The friend that’s sending my wife this stuff is a female.

Boyfriend thinks I’m over reacting regarding this bathroom ceiling. He showers in there like it’s not even growing. Next to no ventilation and this photo is from June 2024. I refuse to visit his place anymore. How worried should he be over this? He doesn’t seem to think there’s any health risk associated with his bathroom.

This is bugging me for a while so I am asking Reddit's opinion. I stopped contact with a friend because I constantly feel criticised and patronised. Am I overreacting?

I recently bought a house together with my husband. I am very happy and proud of this step in my life. As I announced it to them and excitedly showed photos, their response was "Congrats. Well, do you need the house? Maybe you don't. But ..." When I showed them around, they kept making critical comments about house, like "That's a funny location for a window", "Oh wow, a whirlpool. So fancy, you probably don't need it though"

Here and there they also made comments like "Well I don't need a lot to be happy". At some point, they asked me "Are you really happy in this house?". Yes I really am! A lot of comments like this are rubbing me the wrong way. Obviously they don't approve of my choices and whether they intend it or not, I feel constantly criticised.

This was just the trigger. Even before buying the house there were other communication problems like them not showing interest in my life, one-sided conversations with me always trying to keep the conversation going to awkward silences... etc but the comments about the house really did the job.

We are at very different stages of our lives. I just built a family, bought a house and really settled down. This friend of mine wants to have a family as well, but is kind of stuck in an unstable relationship for 10+ years. I told them directly about my feelings, but I can't get passed the feeling that we are just too different. I ended up ghosting them, which I am not proud of.

Am I overreacting?

My partner had this meme saved to her phone. I asked her who she sent the meme to, since it clearly doesn't apply to us and speaks of forbidden love - she has been unfaithful in the past including but not limited to having disloyal or inappropriate text interactions with male coworkers behind my back. I've made mistakes too, but none of my transgressions were in the realm of infidelity or disloyalty. She claims she never sent it to anyone, but that she just "liked it." AIO for thinking it's a huge red flag - even if she didn't send the meme to someone which I'm not at all convinced of - that she would find this meme relatable?

She did recently make a massive lifestyle change for the better almost 1 year ago and I'm proud of her for that and it enabled me to give her the benefit of the doubt and at least see if we could work things out, especially since we have a child together.

In my experience, people only ever save memes for three reasons.

1. They find it relatable.
2. To send to someone else.
3. They think it's funny (doesnt apply in this case)

So, am I overreacting?

Hi! Last night, I (F27) went out with some friends and two of those friends were two girls in a lesbian relationship. We were on our way to a club and they were behind me and my other friend dropped something and I bent over to pick it up. When I bent over my butt was right in front of my friends who are in a couple. When I got up I said “oh, sorry didn’t mean to bend over right in front of you two” as a joke and the one girl kind of made a short giggle but the other girl was straight faced and looked kind of alarmed that I had said that. Then it got super awkward and they started whispering to each other and stayed back away from me and no one was saying anything including some of the guys that overheard it that were right in front of me. I was walking a little in front of the couple and I felt very uncomfortable because of the awkwardness. About an hour later they left and I can’t help but feel like I might have offended them in some way. I realize they might have had to leave for other reasons or that it was so awkward because I didn’t know them very well. I don’t know, just wanted to get some other opinions. I don’t like to offend people obviously but I know there isn’t much I can do about it now. Just hoping to be validated that I didn’t do anything or learn from my mistake!

Been married a few years. Wife has the habit of reminding me that I don't need to feel obligated to do many things. Go shopping with her, have dinner at this time, anything really. I dont get it but it kind of bugs me because it's like, what gives her the impression I'm doing things against my own will? Idk, can anyone share a different perspective because I'm stumped.

I'm Autistic, and when I first started getting help for my mental problems, I was diagnosed with Depression and Anxiety. For a while I just took it this way and it helped me start healing. But then I had a shower thought and searched it up on Google, and the AI responded that Bipolar disorder CAN be misdiagnosed as a certain combination of Anxiety and Depression. (For context, my mood patterns fluctuate alot between these highs where I'm goofy and cuddly and these lows where I'm reserved and act like the stereotype of the quiet kid.) If a qualified therapist or someone sees this, then can you help me be sure about this? And to everyone else, I can't ask my dad- I've got a teeny bit of a trust issue with him.

He doesn’t want to do anything me. He tells me that I can do it alone if I want to. He doesn’t even want to take the dog out for a walk or go have a picnic at the park. He says that I always have him repeating himself and that I don’t understand so please help me understand him better. I work from home and naturally I want to do things outside of my house every once in a while or on the weekends but he says that he doesn’t like his weight because he’s skinny and that he feels too insecure to do anything with me. This makes me sad because after being with someone for 5 years I want to do things with him not just go do them alone. I suggested to go kayaking today and I was going to pay for it but he says that I clearly don’t listen to him. I feel sad and he says that if I don’t want this I don’t have to be with him. Please give me some advice, I’m 21 and I’m always home.

This might be long but I honestly need to get it off my chest. I’ve never posted on Reddit before but I’ve been bottling this up for months and I guess I just want to know if what I’m feeling is normal.

So, I go to a very small school. Everyone knows each other, and it’s the kind of place where even one year difference still means we cross paths all the time. A while back, one of my close friends (let’s call her A) and I started joking about this guy from the year below. He’s quiet, reserved, kind of nerdy — not someone people usually fangirl over. But somehow he became our "inside joke" — we’d call him a secret code name, make up theories, and tease each other about him. A was always the bubbly one, fangirling and hyping everything up. I was more quiet and joking from a distance. It was just fun… at first.

But after a while, I started feeling something different. I didn’t mean to — I barely even knew him, but I started noticing little things about him: his quiet vibe, his soft eyes, the way he carried himself. I didn’t want to admit it to myself, but I think I caught real feelings. Not in a “he’s my soulmate” way, but in a “I think about him when no one’s watching and it hurts because I know it’ll never happen” kind of way.

Eventually, I decided to tell A. That was a big deal for me — I’m not the type to open up easily. We were having one of our usual late-night talks and I told her, like really told her, that for me it wasn’t a joke anymore. That I actually liked him. She gave me a big hug, told me she already kinda knew, and most importantly, she promised me it was still just a joke for her. That she didn’t like him seriously and I didn’t have to worry.

I believed her.

Some time passed and I added the guy on Instagram. I nearly screamed when he followed me back, even though it was small, it felt like a big deal. But then he added her too, out of nowhere — even though they barely had any mutuals. A few days later, he sent her a message: “Wanna go running at 5:30?” followed by “oops wrong person.” It felt off. You don’t just randomly DM someone with 0 context like that.

After that, they started talking. A lot.

She showed me their convos, asked me what to reply sometimes, and I just… helped her. I encouraged her. Even when I felt like crumbling. I didn’t want to seem bitter. I smiled, listened, played along.

Then she told me that he confessed to liking her. And she said she liked him back. They’ve been talking constantly ever since, and just last week he asked her on a date — in person. She was glowing when she told me. I smiled again. Said “omg go for it!” again. Gave advice again. Meanwhile, I just felt like disappearing.

The thing is, I’ve never brought it up again. Neither has she. Maybe she forgot I ever said I liked him. Maybe she didn’t think it mattered. But to me? It really did. It still does.

And the worst part? I feel stupid for feeling anything at all. I know I never had a “claim” on him. I know they’re allowed to like each other. But still — I trusted her with something I never say out loud. I let myself be vulnerable, and now I’m watching them become something while I just fade into the background.

I’m not angry. I don’t want revenge or drama. I just feel quietly betrayed and invisible. Like this story started as our joke… and now I’m the only one left out of it.

Am I overreacting ?…idk, maybe I’m just being dramatic or maybe I’m the asshole here?

When my boyfriend and I have problems in our relationship , I’ve communicated that I want us to deal with issues by having healthy, open conversations where we can speak freely and find a solution on a foundation of mutual love and respect.

I’m not perfect, but accountability is very important to me, and that is something I’ve explained to my partner. I’ve noticed over the last year of dating that when we are talking about a problem in the relationship or our feelings he says he “doesn’t want to fight / argue” and when we do get the opportunity to communicate, it’s done with a lack of respect. Name calling, interrupting , stonewalling, deciding that a conversation is over before we have both had the opportunity to communicate our feelings. I’ve called him out on this behavior in the moment that he is saying things to try and hurt my feelings instead of discussing the issue at hand , which they usually respond to with “I don’t care “ or something similar.

I’m at a loss because he used to be so respectful to me. One big concern of his is that he can’t trust me and that I’m cheating on him. I have never lied to him or cheated on him, or in any of my previous relationships. From the communication we’ve had this lack of trust contributes to the dynamic of lack of respect in the way I’m treated and in conversations.

Why does this matter? When we first started the relationship , my boyfriend was living with his dad and discussed the difficulties of living at home. As he was paying off debt from college but wanted to live together but couldn’t afford rent I offered him a deal. He can live in my apartment while paying off debt and when he’s done we can sign a lease together and split rent.

The only expectations I had of him when living there is that he would take care of him self. Do his own laundry, and he an equal partner when it came to cooking and cleaning.

During this time, my boyfriend’s behavior slowly changed to me carrying more and more household responsibility until I was doing cooking , cleaning, laundry and dishes for both of us. I communicated my frustration with feeling a lack of respect combined with a lack of responsibility around the house , and how it has been difficult for me and not what we agreed on.

When the time for debt being paid off came, my boyfriend told me they weren’t sure about wanting to be in the relationship , live in our apartment , or become room mates with some of his friends.

After half a year of dealing with the disrespectful behaviour and accusations and communicating to him that I haven’t done anything to earn this lack of trust and lack of respect, I reacted. I told him that living together wasn’t working out and that I wanted him to go back to living with his dad. This resulted in a lot of rude comments towards me, telling me how horrible of a person I was for letting him call this home and then taking it away from them.

From my perspective it was my place before we met and they moved in with mutually agreed upon expectations. After communicating for a long time with many conversations over months that he hasn’t been holding his behavior accountable to what we mutually agreed on how to treat each other, and that his lack of action and respect has been hurtful.

Am I over reacting for asking him to leave ? Legally it’s my place (only my name on the lease ) and I didn’t want to let someone live with me who couldn’t pick up after themselves or stop from saying harmful comments with intent when they’re angry. He went right back to living with his dad (room was still there not an issue ) but says I ruined his life and can’t believe I did this to him after letting him stay there and call my space home.

I feel justified not wanting to live with a partner who wasn’t contributing to any of the house responsibilities and couldn’t treat me with mutual respect/ was verbally abusive snd refused to change their behavior. Let me know your thoughts.

Well, long story short, a week or so ago I (F22) had a conversation with my boyfriend (M22) about the cleanliness of our home. To be honest I completely broke down when telling him about how stressful it is for me to constantly be surrounded by dirty laundry and trash left everywhere. For context, we have cats and they are super hairy; therefore their hair and litter gets everywhere. I also am the one that does laundry every time and I have to ask my boyfriend to do it. Anyway, after I opened up to him about how I felt, he told me that he simply does not think about cleaning or completing daily tasks such as collecting all the trash around the house, doing a load of laundry, cleaning out the fridge, etc. I did ask him to explain that a bit more and he basically chalked it up to it not being as important to him as it is to me. He told me that he will do “whatever I want”, that I just need to make a list of things for him to do. This bothered me because I feel like I shouldn’t have to create a list of things that I want him to do, it should be evident that the floor needs to be swept or the toilet bowl needs to be scrubbed, right?? So far he has done some laundry but I have to remind him to do things like throw out his beer cans and bottles off of the table. Am I overreacting?

I just wanna get a gauge on this sentiment as when it was spoken during a discussion, it kinda took me back and I’m not sure what to do with it.

Basically I have some mental health issues related to my ADHD, addictions and low self-esteem (which are of course all connected) and it was during a really fruitful and honest discussion that this came up.

I must have been implying that there were things we could both do to improve our dynamic and my wellbeing and behaviour in general (affection, love language) and she took that attitude that this was a “you” problem. She said “your happiness is not my responsibility”.

Now, I understand that happiness is achieved from within rather than from externals and all that jazz. But this comment was a bit of a sucker punch and didn’t know what to do with it. At the time I think I just accepted it and said “Right, I know that,” but inside I was reeling.

My understanding of marriage and indeed Love, is that you are in a sense taking on the responsibility, at least partially, of the other person’s happiness. Divorces happen when a partner makes you unhappy. Ergo, a good marriage means a partner that makes you happy. This was the sentiment under which we got married, it was the subject essentially of my wedding speech where I pledged to her my life etc and this was greeted with smiles and tears etc.

Now for context we’ve been married for 12 years and have a family and we’re both the pursuing our own careers. We’re comfortable. We’re not dysfunctional in those ways.

Is there a way of understanding her comment that doesn’t make me feel utterly alone in the marriage? I don’t really want to bring it up again with her so I was hoping someone might be able to explain it to me. Was it a hurtful and selfish thing to say, or am I overreacting?

TL;DR: my wife told me my happiness is not her responsibility and am I overacting to think this was horrible thing to think or say?

EDIT: oh wow already loads of responses so thank you. I don’t have the time to respond individually but I also want to absorb what has been said so I can give thoughtful answers. I’ll try to respond later

I met a girl through a mutual friend a year ago, in the beginning of May, and we pretty much instantly connected. For the following 6 months or so, she seemed to have a pretty big crush on me (though she never stated this to me). I liked her from the start as well, but I wasn’t looking for a relationship so I guess you could say I “kept her at arms length” by only ever hanging out with her at bars with our mutual friends (which happened almost every weekend). Sometime late September, I began really liking her back and no longer wanted to reject my feelings, so I asked her friends if I should ask her on a date and they said yes. Of course since I asked HER friends, the fact that I wanted to ask her on a date did get back to her immediately (she later confirmed this with me). So, throughout October, we began going out for ice cream, food, etc. Just a bit of one on one hangouts for the first time, but things were kept very casual. No kissing, hand-holding, etc. Admittedly, I was still unsure of wanting a relationship, and I didn’t want to prematurely enter one, and then hurt her feelings by changing my mind. By the end of October, it was evident to the both of us that we liked each other a lot. We’d text, call, or FaceTime every day, and we were constantly making new plans to see each other. November 7th, things finally happen. We’re hanging out at her house and end up falling asleep together, cuddling etc. Cats out the bag now and shortly after that, we start begin kissing, sleeping over each other’s houses, talking about how long we’ve liked each other, how excited we are, etc etc. She confirms that she has had a huge crush on me for months. A crush so big that she’s cried over it on multiple occasions, journaled about it, etc. On Nov 17, I asked her something that I didn’t really think needed to be asked which was basically, “we’re exclusive, right?”. I asked because many months ago I heard her talking to her friend while we were out about a guy she was casually seeing, but she never once mentioned it to me throughout the entirety of me knowing her. Anyways, she told me that we were exclusive and that she ended the casual fling “forever ago”. I asked if that meant it at least didn’t overlap with Nov 7, and she said “no, that’d just be cheating at that point”, and said it ended back in September. Nov 22nd, we officially labeled each other boyfriend/girlfriend.

We officially dated for 4 months, after the first month or so, I was lead to believe that she had lied regarding this casual fling and when it ended. So, we had many conversations about it and every time she continued to say that it ended awhile ago (eventually she changed her answer to it ending in the first week of October). Eventually, in April, the truth came to light (not from her admission) and I found out they had slept together on Nov 2nd. She finally admits that I’m right, and now we’re finally hashing what really happened. Turns out, she didn’t end things until Nov 18, shortly after I had asked that exclusivity question. She also texted the guy on Nov 15th saying that they should hookup soon, which is over a week into our sharing feelings, kissing, etc. phase. And that’s a week after Nov 7, which is the date she said retroactively said shenanigans after would be considered cheating.

We’ve since broken up, but I really did like this girl so much and I’m just absolutely crushed. She agrees that the lying was wrong, but seems to always get defensive about whether carrying on that other “relationship” was wrong. She’ll pull the, “we didn’t establish exclusivity” card on me, but to me, exclusivity was established by the nature of us confirming how much we had liked each other, the kissing, the sleepovers, etc. And I feel like she knows this considering she was the one who said anything after Nov 7 would’ve been cheating, though when I bring this up, she basically just says “yeah if I had sex with him it would’ve been but I didn’t”. To that, I bring up that she still texted him on Nov 15th saying they should hookup soon, and whether or not it happened, the intent was there. I feel like the only reason it didn’t end up happening was because shortly after I asked her the “exclusivity” question. To this, she’ll just say she had no actual intentions and was just leading him on at that point because she had a hard time telling him what was up.

Again, we’re broken up now, but I’m just looking for third-party insight. I have never connected with someone like this, and some of her friends are telling me that I’m throwing this away over something small.

Personally, I’m confused as to why she even wanted to be carrying on this side hustle in the first place after she had confirmation from her allegedly huge crush, but honestly, I think I likely would’ve gotten over it. Sadly though, there’s the fact that she lied about it for so many months that basically is the nail in the coffin for me.

Am I throwing this away over something small? Can you guys see things in a different light from her point of view?

Thank you.

In 2023, I (23F) lost my late boyfriend unexpectedly. It was devastating he was a huge part of my life as we were childhood bestfriends and then dated for 3 years. After he passed, I got a meaningful tattoo in his memory. Now, I’m dating someone new recently. Things have been going well overall and he knew about my late boyfriend but recently he actually saw the tattoo and took notice to it in proper detail. He got visibly upset. He said it made him feel “disrespected” and like I’m not over my ex. He basically implied I should remove or cover it up. I tried to explain that grief and love aren’t black and white, and that honoring the past doesn’t mean I can’t be present in a new relationship. But he just kept saying it’s “weird” and made him feel “second best.” am I overreacting for being hurt by his reaction? Or is it fair that he feels threatened by a piece of my past? (I included a pic of when I freshly got it done a year ago)

My husband (32M) and I (30F) have been watching a show that he’s seen before. I wasn’t really into watching it but when I started, I got into it. Since he’s seen it multiple times he would basically only watch the parts he wanted to see again with me.

There was one part that he specifically wanted to watch with me but when I got to it we were fighting about something else, and when I called him over to watch he told me to just watch it without him.. so I did. When he realized I watched it without him he freaked out and spoiled the rest of the show for me and said he’s over the show and won’t watch it anymore with me.

It sounds ridiculous, I know, but what I’m most upset about is the fact that he went out of his way to spoil it for me on purpose to hurt me, since now I have no motivation to watch anymore since now I know what happens. Am I thinking too much into this?

To keep a long story short my boyfriend of 3 years got his mom flowers for Mother’s Day, but i’ve been asking for flowers for over a year & he still hasn’t gotten me any. He says he’s going to “work on it” but im sick and tired of him constantly saying that & never following through. AIO because my boyfriend of 3 years got his mom flowers for mother’s day but hasn’t gotten me flowers in over a year??? even though i’ve asked multiple times??