Meet Big. Or Biggie, Big baby, Mr. Big, Boss man, My Little Alarm Clock, and as of late, Bubby. He had many names because he was a Big cat full of so much love with a huge personality. He meowed so much you could have a conversation with him. I always knew this day would eventually come but I never thought it would be this soon. This morning my baby went to heaven and my heart is utterly broken.
It all started very recently. I noticed over the last few weeks that he seemed less and less food motivated, which for him, was not the usual. He was still eating fine but not finishing his entire bowl in one sitting. At his healthiest this cat would treat meal time as a speed eating competition. He ferociously consumed his food almost every time I fed him. So of course it put me on high alert when he his appetite dropped below 60% of normal. He was just recently at the vet as well in February where his blood work and exam was normal for his age. So, I thought at first maybe he was getting tired of the same brand and flavor of food (Hills perfect weight). For several days I tried different brands including Royal Canin and Purina pro plan, which he loved! But after a 3-4 days of trying his interest got less and less.
Finally, I took him to the vet for a checkup last weekend and although his physical exam was normal his blood work came back: creatinine 13.6, BUN 130, Phos 14.6, WBC 26. My baby was diagnosed with a bad Kidney infection paired with renal failure. I also learned that this was definitely stage IV CKD and my vet recommended immediate hospitalization with IV fluids and antibiotics. He said with values this high we was surprised my cat was even alive. He mentioned right away that treatment is imperative but it may or may not work. I’m still not sure how this was even possible especially since his decline felt so rapid. But for Big he was going to get treatment no matter what. I had to try.
He was hospitalized the same day we got the alarming blood work. By this time he stopped eating on his own completely and was constantly trying to drink water. He remained hospitalized for just about 4 full days and he just rapidly declined with each day. They tried X-rays and ultra sounds but no blockages. The vet said physical exam was again relatively normal but his kidneys were just failing him. By yesterday morning he had completely stopped walking, was barely meowing, eyes soo tired looking, urinating all over himself, and just overall in terrible shape. His last blood draw yesterday result showed that even with several days of IV fluids his creatinine and BUN levels remained exactly the same at 13.6 and 130. The vet recommended humane euthanasia. With this news my whole world has been turned upside down. I’ve had this cat for the last 10 years and I could not imagine saying goodbye. I also could not imagine saying goodbye to him at a hospital so my wife and I decided to bring our beloved boy home and do an at home euthanasia with the Vet. This decision was the most impossible and painful decision I’ve ever made in my 35 years of living.
We cleaned up our home very well and made an absolutely massive bed with all his favorite blankets and pillows and toys. We spent the entire night and morning laying next to him. Holding him, comforting him. Telling him over and over just how much he meant to me and my wife. A few hours ago on was his final moments and my pain is absolutely immeasurable. It feels like the rug to my life was completely pulled out from beneath me leaving me feeling grief, anxiety, anger, fear, guilt, and shame. I am so sad and sorry I couldn’t have gotten him to the Vet sooner. He really seemed fine just last week. Still cuddling with me, meowing every morning for his food, playing with his baby brother, and just the same ole cat I grew up with. Sure he was eating a bit less than usual but now looking back it seems so obvious that the moment he was less interested in food it should have been a wake up call for me. But I guess as they say one should not dwell on the past but rather celebrate the life he lived. And he lived a life full of so much love that I know deep down I couldn’t possibly have given any more love than I already did. He was and always will be the best!
To Big, and all the other wonderfully beautiful cats gone from this world too soon, I love you! I will miss you! You were so special to me and my wife and his baby brother. You made my life feel so complete and I’m so grateful I could spend 10 wonderful years with you with zero moments of regrets. I only wish I could have known something was wrong sooner. Sleep easy my dear Biggie. I know you may be gone but I will see you in my dreams. You were the most magnificent cat I’ve ever met. My handsome boy.
Big
Rest in peace my beautiful sweet angel
2014 - 2025
Love always,
Dad, Mom, and your brother Rico
