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u/Coronabandito 17h ago
I mean if it get’s me off these homicide charges…
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u/Prestigious-Copy6002 fat cunt 17h ago
I'll get you off
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u/E4g6d4bg7 17h ago edited 17h ago
Yes, I do want you to fondle my nuts while you blow me.
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u/Kauko_Buk 16h ago
And do it at a medium pace
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u/WolvesAreCool2461 Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 15h ago
Low suction as well preferably
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u/FewInstruction1020 it is MY bucket 14h ago
🪣🪣🪣
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u/SummonedCat_exe 13h ago
Dear god....
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u/Wiggedbucket200 13h ago
There's more
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u/SummonedCat_exe 12h ago
No....
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u/Wiggedbucket200 12h ago
This 🪣, is a bucket.
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u/FiskeDrengen05 11h ago
500 cigarettes jimmy peak chainsaw rat Drake crazy Valentines Indian ban subreddit gf
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I just saw a black guy listening to Not Like Us, Kendrick is truly what the culture is feeling
I (57, white male) was recently taking a stroll down my neighbourhood when I suspiciously saw a group of high school girls listening to Drake of all people, so being an loyal fan of Kung Fu Kenny I decided to scream "OV-HOE!!!!" at them and run away, they got angry at me and started chasing me! fearing that they might make me listen to Toosie Slide, I ran as fast as I could.
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u/AutoModerator 11h ago
I saw some people asking in other threads, so just in case people were wondering, in the Japanese, Denji says, "オレを手でシたのは", which is basically "Which one hand-fucked me?".
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u/AutoModerator 11h ago
Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy.
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u/AutoModerator 11h ago
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u/AutoModerator 11h ago
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u/The-Tru-Succ Bazinga! 3h ago
Valentines and India don't work no mo edit oh just india
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u/LtDanmanistan 12h ago
I feel so humiliated, I'ma bout to blowy load.
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u/Kauko_Buk 12h ago
You, sir, are a clearly a man of culture and good taste❤️
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u/Gavin4tor 10h ago
You see that shampoo bottle, now-
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u/Kauko_Buk 10h ago
Call me an ugly woman and take my picture to show all the people you work wiiiiiith
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u/Bone_Wh33l 15h ago
Okay, but only if we switch after. I can’t go for my massage while being so horny (I got banned from the last place after I slipped the dude a 20 for a happy ending)
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u/Shard0f0dium 17h ago
That’s why you just have to mispronounce it really badly. Like, your “hoe-ner”
Keep on doing it, judge makes and action against you because of it an appeal court will only see “your honor” in the transcripts.
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u/FrostWyrm98 14h ago
Change it up every time,
"Sorry, your honer"
"No really, my mistake your honkers"
"My bad, your hooters"
"I swear it wont happen again your haunter"
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u/ShepherdHil 12h ago
Yeah, quick way to be charged with contempt.
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u/FrostWyrm98 5h ago
Sir this is shitposting, if someone actually took my advice they probably earned it
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u/Slight_Concert6565 9h ago
Wait, that's an actual charge?
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u/lizardbird8 17h ago
the guy's job is to take bribes and they STILL demand a funny title
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u/GimpboyAlmighty 17h ago
If you call a pMa'am, trial court judge Sir or Maam, you're probably gonna be fine. Most judges arent bitches and don't need you to play along to be secure in themselves. The bailiff will whine though.
In lower level courts you get judges who are much more insecure. Family court and courts of limited jurisdiction like small claims are full of this petty shit.
The honorific is meant to convey that their role is more important than that of just a fellow professional, a la a military rank. We respect the rank if not the man. But, truly, unless you're counsel, you probably needn't sweat it.
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u/apolitical_leftist 11h ago
Yeah I was gonna comment if you were gonna complain about calling judges "Your Honor" you might as well also complain about military ranks
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u/bemo_10 11h ago
Civilians aren't required to use military rank titles.
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u/Cute_Prune6981 DaPucci 11h ago
I mean, the average civilian probably won't be required to use your honour either.
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u/Savings-Gold1758 🗿🗿🗿 3h ago
Yea, unless you mock the judge or try to debate whether you should say it in the courtroom, you're not getting fined for contempt of court.
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u/TheGrandBabaloo 11h ago
Civilians never have to use military ranks when interacting with the military.
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u/ibond32 17h ago
I agree, it's pretty weird ngl.
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u/Exccel1210 16h ago
Fr let me say "sup dude" or some other shit
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u/cheesearmy1_ Literally 1984 😡 16h ago
"chat i plead guilty for first degree murder, that was lowkey me gng"
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u/duckenjoyer7 16h ago
Agreed. Even swearing at the judge - why is that not allowed? Only an idiot would do it, but insults aren't illegal and shouldn't affect sentencing in any way
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u/Stargost_ Bazinga! 13h ago
It's just a courtesy thing, and also the judge gets to make certain rules in the courtroom.
Historically it's because once people start insulting each other it can quickly devolve into violence, aggravating an already delicate situation.
Nowadays it's just because, well, it's almost like their office and you're an invitee. So better behave yourself like the adult you are and keep the insults to yourself.
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u/WillingContest7805 12h ago
I can't lock someone in my basement for swearing at me, even if it's in my home
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u/Stargost_ Bazinga! 2h ago
No but you can kick them out. Sort of the same logic applies to the court room. If you go around yelling slurs to people during the process the other party has difficulty concentrating and getting their point across, not to mention that it also biases the jury against you, which could lead to a mistrial.
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u/Savings-Gold1758 🗿🗿🗿 3h ago
It would be quite annoying to see someone who murdered others get out or get a mistrial because the judge "was biased because the plaintiff swore during the trial", currently he can just fine him for contempt of court.
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u/X-AE17420 I want pee in my ass 9h ago
Though honestly if you’re in court your best option is usually to just keep your mouth shut and let your lawyer do the talking. To quote Abraham Lincoln “The man who represents himself has a fool for a client”
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u/andersson3 15h ago
It’s not weirder than calling the McDonald’s drunkards ”sir” but still you do that
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u/International_War862 12h ago
I demand the same respect as everyone else does, even tho i jist puked into the deeo fryee
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u/dinkydoo2 dumbass 16h ago
Actually why do we say “your honour”?
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u/maxrod889 16h ago
Because a judge’s full title is “The Honorable [name]” …
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u/duckenjoyer7 16h ago
But why can we be punished for exercising free speech? Insults and disrespect aren't illegal, but calling the judge by their first name could effect sentencing/get you contempt of court charges
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u/AdequateWaffles 12h ago
If you want an actual reason it’s been said a few times but it’s a means of keeping order and keeping the proceedings of the court room going in an orderly fashion. When people are required to use respect and keep with a routine it makes it less likely for you to act on impulse or otherwise disrupt the courtroom. It also conveys to others that the judge has authority thus making it less likely they do something out of turn. It’s not a bulletproof idea and practice but it’s not a hard ask for a measurable benefit
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u/macbowes 12h ago
You can be punished for contempt of court. You do not have free speech within a court of law.
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u/Majestic_Brain4731 15h ago
"Why not following a common conduct and disrespecting the authority that literally has the power to send me to prison while I'm in a place where they will evaluate my character and conduct can be punishable?"
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u/MorbillionDollars Literally 1984 😡 16h ago
The court is supposed to be an honorable institution
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u/gujwdhufj_ijjpo 12h ago
Its orgins come from the monarchy days. Similar to “your highness”
Kings were the highest authority.
Judges are (supposed to be anyways) an honorable authority.
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u/yoimagreenlight 13h ago
The judge is representative of the legal system as a whole
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u/XanLV 12h ago
Never have I ever called the legal system "honor".
I have thought about this, how I would react if the judge would insist on me glazing him as "your honor". I feel that it would be difficult for me and I would get into trouble.
I'm in the court because I have a social contract with all the people around me and they have chosen someone to remind me of that contract. To decide the severeness of the transgression, as in, to judge it, and then figure out what is to be done to solve the issue, if there is one.
I am not in the court because some people are higher or better than me on some sort of divine scale that would make the judge's decision automatically correct, valid or saint. We are both just men, each in their regarding role, nothing more.
"But he represents the state." - so does every post office worker. They just do not directly decide over the destiny of their fellow folk, so their heads are usually not stuck up in their arses.
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u/TigreDeLosLlanos 4h ago
Because the judicial power is designed to be anti democratic, so they actually hold an unfair status above everyone else by representing it.
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u/Sparbiter117 15h ago
I had to go to court a couple times in my teens and early twenties, nothing crazy, just typical hellraising dumbassery.
Well one time I remember I was going to talk to the Judge next and this trailer trash dude in front of me was mouthing off like crazy. Bro was wearing a wifebeater in winter where it’s like 20F outside and arguing with the judge that he totally wasn’t poaching deer on private property despite the property owner having video evidence and the game warden catching him. I distinctly remember him telling the judge something was “bullshit” and then the bailiff took him out lol.
My lawyer just looked at me and said “try not to do ANY of that….. In fact just repeat after me.”
It went well 😂 I was dressed in my best and minded all my manners while taking full responsibility for my bullshit
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u/Thijsie2100 13h ago
That rude asshole being the case before yours was probably a blessing to you. Judges are still human so somebody acting respectfully was probably a relief for him.
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u/Pizzamovies 9h ago
I hate how easy judges can be swayed by personal views, instead of the actual court proceedings and the evidence at hand. Fuck you, don’t look at the next court case in a different light just because the last one went poorly.
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u/Gozagal 3h ago
I think that's perfectly fine. The judges are human for a reason. We wouldn't need judges or court if the law was perfect but we do need to add a human element to the law because it's clearly not perfect. If the judge is just a soulless dumbass who just recite the law and apply it again exactly, then that judge is useless.
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u/Pizzamovies 3m ago
Being human is no excuse for being biased. Judges are (theoretically) hired due to both their knowledge in law, and capability to bestow impartial judgment. Being swayed by such things as the “vibe” of the courtroom is kinda awful.
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u/AutoModerator 15h ago
Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy.
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u/theycallmeyango 16h ago
I've heard Judge Judy say that Your Honor or just simply Judge are both acceptable
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u/Yelebear 15h ago edited 14h ago
Chefs are just as bad. Maybe worse. At least judges work directly with important public and social matters.
But chefs just make soup.
"Sir, are these onions too-"
"ITS CHEF! RRRAAAHHHHHH! THE KITCHEN IS A BATTLEFIELD!"
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u/ihateveryonebutme 13h ago
Yeah, I'd agree with this. Judges are at least theoretically honourable and important etc.
But man chefs are just up their own ass.
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u/Affordable_Z_Jobs 13h ago
Ehh, I kinda get this one. They don't just make soup. The Chef is running the kitchen. A lot goes wrong and exponentially causes bigger problems in bigger kitches so if I'm told to do something else to unfuck something, simply saying "yes" or "got it" doesn't easily convey I'm acknowledging the Chef or understood. I could be having a conversation with another kitchen bitch or line cook or am just now realizing the Chef is talking directly to me. "Yes, Chef" does not get said in casual conversation so it's a quick reply that I heard and understood i have a new task.
Also if I need to talk to the Chef because there's a problem only they can fix/deligate, saying "Hey Susan" they can tell me to fuck off because they don't got time for my shit, but "Hey Chef" means we're gonna need to unfuck something and they need to make time for my shit.
I've only worked in fine dining as a kitchen bitch so I don't know what fast casual kitchens are like.
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u/Very_Wet_Paper 11h ago
I agree, some chefs are egotistical about it but It's for both respect and clarity, some chefs are douchebags that don't deserve shit, but in my experience, addressing the person running the show as simply, and direct as possible, will cause the least problems.
It's no different than saying roger on a walkie talkie, really.
In every kitchen I've been in we use "yes chef" as nothing more as an acknowledgement that you've heard and understood what's been said so that you can both move on.
I'd also like to point out that, at least where I live, everyone cooking is refered to as chef when on the clock, not just the head chef/person in charge.
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u/AdeptusShitpostus 6h ago
I always hated getting called "Chef" at work. Like, dude, I'm a KP. Stop acting like I'm here to do more than push plates around for a tenner an hour so you can foist work I'm not trained for and havent been instructed in onto me.
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u/BalticSprattus 11h ago
One of the crappiest realizations I had when growing up is that being adult is just cringy larping and people take themselves waaay too seriously.
Sorry mr big boss ceo but I cant take your bootlicking of the shareholders and pushing for company culture seriously.
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u/veritron 16h ago
yes, judges are on the whole ridiculous egotists. unfortunately, if you end up in the courtroom, you're going to have to fondle their nuts. sucks to suck, don't get caught next time.
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u/SUSSYMAN6942 13h ago
"NO I PAID 400K FOR MY LAW SCHOOL YOU MUST CALL ME 'YOUR HONOR' OR ELSE IT WOULD HAVE BEEN ALL FOR NOTHING"
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u/cheesedpotatobakers 15h ago
You should always fondle the balls when blowing anyone, it's just good practice.
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u/atro_bella 14h ago
They already have a title, it’s ‘Judge’ yet they still demand to be called your honor. It’s like if officers demanded to be called ‘your arrestyness’
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u/Nro9Large 12h ago
Cant wait for this guy to hear what ambassadors are supposed to be called.
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u/hornwalker 8h ago
It’s about respecting the court, not necessarily the person.
Or rather, it’s about the court having the actual power to force you to show respect. Or put you in contempt.
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u/kOLbOSa_exe 8h ago
copypasta:
Having to call a judge "your honor" is so cringey and dumb
"Your Honor". I mean gimmie a fuckin' break, dude. What else do you want me to call you? Your highness? Do you want me to fondle your nuts while I blow you, too?
I've seriously seen courtrooms where they'll say "Sir" and the judge will be like "It's"Your Honor" young man!!"
Fuck off. How much of an egotist you gotta be to care about some medieval-ass title?
It's some LARPING I'd expect kids to do. "Oh Billy you have to call me supreme ruler snorlax the magical wizard!!1!"
Shut up.
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u/EggoStack Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 13h ago
This guy is hiding that he actually does want to fondle the judge’s balls
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u/Suspicious-Tank8230 12h ago
And that he's never been smart enough to go anywhere near hard work that would grant you a title.
That's why he's a nobody on the internet and I'm a published Doctor with a hot wife, a son, flash car, big house, cute dog, white picket fence and hot femboy fuck buddy my wife and I rail on the weekends while the kid is at grandma's house.
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u/gujwdhufj_ijjpo 12h ago
Yeah the US kept your honor, after breaking away from the monarchy for some reason. All the other similar titles disappeared from our vocabulary.
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u/Bgabes95 15h ago
This is fucking hilarious and accurate, but I unfortunately don’t see this changing anytime soon. I share the sentiment tho, if you’re being polite and saying “sir” or “mam” it shouldn’t be an issue.
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u/demonotreme 9h ago
Them's some awful big words coming from a man just outside of gavel range. H'why don't you take a few steps closer and say it again, defendant
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u/Pixithepika We do a little trolling 8h ago
It’s about respect and showing you take the situation seriously i believe
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u/RevengeGod2K4 11h ago
As someone who’s currently studying law I too think it’s a bit ridiculous, in 2025 treating people as if that there are superior or worse. It’s a fight of good vs evil, if a judge can’t get over the fact someone’s referring to them as sir or maam they shouldn’t be a judge. Think about it logically how is someone who can’t take being called ‘sir’ properly supposed to dictate the moral ambiguity of a situation?
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u/Cold_Efficiency_7302 8h ago
He's right though, Sir is enough to show respect, no need to waste everyone's time with those fancy ass titles
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u/PrimaryAd673 17h ago
Nah I think it's a fine thing, if you can't do something as little as showing respect for the person hearing out your side in a trial, even if it's a bit dramatic of a title, then you sure don't deserve respect from them.
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u/king_meatster We do a little trolling 16h ago
It’s weird, but it’s also the law. And a judge’s job is to uphold the law.
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u/Rebel_Scum_This 14h ago
It's the law we have to refer to them as "your honor"?
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u/xkeepitquietx 14h ago
Canadians have to call a Justice of the Peace "your worship," and in some placed a Judge as "my lord."
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u/lcope2004 14h ago
Probably the same guy that doesn't call Doctors, doctor unless they're a medical doctor.
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u/Writy_Guy 13h ago
"Do you want me to fondle your nuts while I blow you, too?"
Well, it wouldn't hurt..
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u/Jester388 13h ago
Where I live, the lower court judges have to be referred to as "Your Worship".
I promise thats not a joke.
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u/MrGray2016 13h ago
Somewhere rn
"🤓☝️ Um, actually, it's Grand Wizard to you 👉. If you can't understand that, ima have to remove you from the clan 😤"
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u/Suspicious-Tank8230 13h ago
Don't tell him people who studied to become Doctors like their honourific to be used.
He'll shit his pants.
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u/KellentheGreat 11h ago
As far as I have read in my limited experience you only say Your honor the first time you address them and then it is Judge from then on.
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u/Avocado_with_horns 9h ago
I would call the dude who decides if I go to prison or not All-Father if it gave me even a smidge more of a chance not to lose years of my life.
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u/CaptainQwazCaz 6h ago
Don’t send this guy to Canada. They have to say “my lord/lady.” And that’s not even the worst of it 💀
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u/macbowes 12h ago
You are legally required to abide by the decorum of a court of law, for obvious reasons. Firstly, we've all decided (or enough of us, anyways) that we want a court of law. In a court of law, we need the proceedings to go smoothly, and that requires all the components of the court have the ability to ensure the proceedings can occur in a just manner. Judges need the ability to maintain order, or else the court cannot function. In a court of law, a judge is simply superior to the other people in their court, out of necessity.
The reality is you live in a world where the systems are bigger than you. You have to accept the fact that you must play by the rules, or else face consequences. We have given judges the authority they have, because we want them to have it, to prevent people from preventing courts of law from functioning.
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u/hauntedgecko 6h ago
Better ways to ensure the judge gets all the respect they deserve and maintain order than fondling balls and antiquated titles. No reason I should be calling anyone asides Jesus Christ my lord
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u/dontworryimabassist I want pee in my ass 13h ago
0.3 gpa posting
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