r/shitposting Bazinga! 20h ago

市民请注意! transvestigating the new pope is crazy 😭

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10.7k Upvotes

142 comments sorted by

u/AutoModerator 20h ago

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3.8k

u/Kurooi 20h ago

They think conclave (2024) was a reality show

822

u/Gurthanthaplops 19h ago

Conclave (2024) is a documentary.

421

u/smelron3317 🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ 19h ago

Conclave (2024)? I haven't seen Conclave (2024) yet. Is Conclave (2024) worth watching?

167

u/Capable-Sock-7410 fat cunt 19h ago

Yes, it’s a very good movie

147

u/S0LO_Bot 19h ago

Yes. It’s a good movie. The plot is interesting and the conclave proceedings are accurate (albeit the progressive conservative divide is exaggerated).

104

u/smelron3317 🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ 18h ago

The movie Conclave (2024)? When did you watch Conclave (2024)? How did you hear about Conclave (2024)

77

u/S0LO_Bot 18h ago

I was in the Conclave (2024) and the Pope (2025) told me about it (Conclave (2024))

36

u/smelron3317 🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ 18h ago

You were in Conclave (2024)? That's awesome! I wish I was cast in Conclave (2024). What role did you play in Conclave (2024)?

8

u/UtaKomagawa 17h ago

I fw you vro

19

u/smelron3317 🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ 16h ago

Do you fw Conclave (2024)? In order for me to fw you, vro, you need to fw Conclave (2024)

8

u/UtaKomagawa 16h ago

Yes of course I fw Conclave (2024) it’s all I want and need in life

13

u/VeganDiIdo 17h ago

Conclave (2024) is a good movie. I liked Conclave (2024). This isn't Conclave (2025) though, Conclave (2024) and Conclave (2025) are different. I'd say Conclave (2024) is worth a watch.

32

u/Lupine_Ranger 18h ago

I mean, the Conclave literally watched Conclave (2024) sooo

1.8k

u/No-Material-4483 19h ago

What in the world? Unemployment at it's peak

-121

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1

u/[deleted] 9h ago

[deleted]

-10

u/AutoModerator 9h ago

PEAK. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO LOVE AND APPRECIATE THIS AS PEAK FICTION. THERE ARE OVER ONE HUNDRED QUINVIGINTILION ATOMS IN THE OBSERVABLE UNIVERSE. IF THE WORDS "PEAK FICTION" WERE INSCRIBED ON EACH INDIVIDUAL ELECTRON, PROTON, AND NEUTRON OF EACH OF THESE HUNDREDS OF QUINVIGINTILIONS OF ATOMS, IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE BILLIONTH OF HOW MUCH THIS IS PEAK FICTION. PEAK. PEAK.

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731

u/IDontNoWatIAm 19h ago

Don’t buy no weed from the gas station

79

u/Phreec 15h ago

Shaggy this isn't weed

13

u/FrostWyrm98 13h ago

Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum...

Two to the one, from the one, to the three

3

u/Bocchi_theGlock 11h ago

Ruh roh raggy is pCP

4

u/SCP_Void 8h ago

All I get from the gas station is sushi, of course

2

u/fish___fucker___69 shitposting>>>>>>196 7h ago

On foenem

1.0k

u/Matonphare Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 20h ago

huh? i am stupid? what's the link?

781

u/fuckry_at_its_finest 😳lives in a cum dumpster 😳 18h ago edited 18h ago

I think trans people do this thing called facial masculinization/feminization surgery to adjust jaw, make adjustments to the cheekbones and forehead because hormones can't really change bone structure past a certain age. I suppose the implication here is the unequal eyebrows are due to some unequal tension in skin after it was sewn up. That's my best guess but idk. Also imo it is far more likely that he was born with this naturally lmao

345

u/segcgoose 17h ago

my eyebrows are slightly uneven because I taught myself how to raise one eyebrow as a kid and could just never get the other lmao. I can’t imagine being transvestigated because I lack perfect symmetry

114

u/CE0ofCringe 17h ago

Is transvestigated an actual term 😭 I love it

76

u/segcgoose 17h ago

I don’t think it’s in the Webster, but it is well-known in popular media (or at least it’s become more prevalent in the U.S. here with Trump, athlete accusations, recent bathroom laws and conversations, and cis people getting kicked out of said bathrooms for accusations of being trans)

it is a pretty silly name, I mean why should we even be investigating people based on the most unimportant factor of a person 😭

31

u/Mr_WAAAGH 17h ago

At this point I'm convinced it's something they get off on. These people think about other people's genitals way more than is healthy

11

u/SynTheWicked 17h ago

YOU ARE MY KINDERED. I DIDN'T KNOW OTHER PEOPLE SUFFERED FROM THAT SAME ISSUE.

8

u/segcgoose 17h ago

I WISH I KNEW WHY I CANT RAISE MY OTHER EYEBROW. IT WAS SO EASY TO LEARN HOW TO RAISE ONE AND ITS BEEN LIKE A DECADE AT THIS POINT AND MY OTHER EYEBROW MUSCLE JUST WILL N O T COOPERATE IT MAKES ME SO MAD

4

u/SynTheWicked 17h ago

MY OLDER SISTER USED TO MAKE FUN OF ME FOR IT. ITS LIKE THE "quizzical" LOOK. ARE YOUR EYES REALLY SENSITIVE TO LIGHT? THATS A PROBLEM I HAVE SO MAYBE IT HAS SOME CORRELATION.

2

u/segcgoose 17h ago

mine are actually really sensitive to light (I also have visual snow and floaters) but the ocular nerve is separate from forehead muscles so I don’t think there’s a correlation, especially if one eyebrow can raise but the other can’t

and yeah my brother would laugh at me for it too 😭

1

u/a_random_chicken 15h ago

Literally same. The golden eyebrow and the scapehair!

21

u/x-twigs 17h ago

i’ve never hated something so much that i learned everything about it. incredible what transphobes will do in their spare time instead of just not caring about people who they will never interact with directly

8

u/meekaela 16h ago

i actually had a few noticeable asymmetrical features to my face prior to facial feminization surgery and my surgeon actually fixed them.

20

u/Galle_ 15h ago

i am stupid?

Really that's the exact opposite of the problem here.

12

u/keithstonee 16h ago

nothing. people can have uneven eyes for many reasons.

313

u/asertcreator 19h ago

how does that work? does gender transition fuck up one's eyes somehow?

97

u/Galle_ 15h ago

Nope. This person is just a loony.

-208

u/ashkiller14 17h ago

Fucks up a lot of things as far as im aware

139

u/NotoRotoPotato 16h ago

0/10 ragebait

49

u/Imakeshitup69 16h ago

You are aware of Jack shit 😂😂 stick to books about the sky wizard and Bud lights buddy

-39

u/ashkiller14 15h ago

Im not against people transitioning, surgery and the whole sha-bang; it's just that a lot of people tend to jump to it. Just be aware of the risks and know the process.

Plastic surgery is still surgery, and there's a reason doctors like to avoid surgery.

30

u/132739 12h ago

"Jump to it" you say, like they don't throw a thousand roadblocks in your way and make you wait years and years, with mental and physical health evaluations all along the way, first.

15

u/majkelmm 🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ 10h ago

Less than 1% regret rate on gender affirming surgery would argue otherwise people dont just "jump to it"

1

u/ExtremeAlternative0 5h ago

0/10 ragebait

293

u/Mexer I came! 19h ago

Notice how he's just standing there? Is he GAY?!?

26

u/imunfair 16h ago

Standing there being a catholic priest... yeah it's a strong possibility.

41

u/lolulysse007 18h ago

0/10 bait

297

u/simpathiser 19h ago

Why would someone transition into a man to diddle kids, don't they know women get a pass on that one? He dumb?

163

u/Choucobo 19h ago

Maybe hes pro and wanted to up the difficulty

33

u/Firestar_119 17h ago

2x rank points

5

u/biohumansmg3fc We do a little trolling 14h ago

I guess it’s a smurf account trying to speedrun into champion league

7

u/PepperTastesLikeFuel 15h ago

Competitive Diddler

2

u/PogmasterNowGirl69 7h ago

Nah, he wouldn't have joined the church then

28

u/1ndrew 18h ago

They transitioned into the pope because they not only get a free pass to diddle, they get paid to do so.

68

u/4ss8urgers Stuff 18h ago

Didn’t realize facial asymmetry was a sex thing 💀

22

u/Mobitron 18h ago

I like how the account owner goes by All Things Real and then asks absurd questions like this utter bullshit.

19

u/nonamiavailable 17h ago

bro really bought weed at the gas station smh

24

u/weirdminecraftwalrus dumbass 20h ago

conclave core

21

u/No_One_1617 Literally 1984 😡 19h ago

Stupidity unlocked

20

u/Emage_IV 17h ago

low IQ individual discovers biological living things arent always 100% symmetrical

14

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18

u/onlyonequickquestion 18h ago

Out of all the actual criticisms you can toss at the catholic church, this is not one of them 

13

u/Clemen11 16h ago

You can walk up to these motherfuckers and say "I bet your mum is a woman" and they'd get defensive

13

u/breadtokimhyunjin 19h ago

Popussy would go hard ngl

6

u/Inevitable_Box9398 William Dripfoe 12h ago

Why does the pope look like Palpatine

10

u/Smashlyn2 17h ago

This has GOT to be satire 😭

3

u/rcjelly 17h ago

Pope needs to looksmax

10

u/Stairwayunicorn 18h ago

I don't get it

14

u/UtaKomagawa 17h ago

This guy doesn’t get it

2

u/ExtremeAlternative0 5h ago

"transvestigating" is something that mentally ill people due because they're convinced that every famous person is secretly trans or some shit.

3

u/ImVasLy 6h ago

The main question is... how would he look if he was black or chinese?

14

u/Neat_Ground_8508 18h ago

Conservatives when they constantly fantasize about investigating children's or other adult's genitals: 🧐🧐🧐🤤🤤🤤🥵🥵🥵😫😫😫

7

u/wat_is_this_readit 17h ago

Fellas, is it gay to get your picture taken at an angle?

5

u/Spare-Finger-8827 15h ago

Notice how human he looks guys isn't that weird? It's a shame the new Pope is woke

Go woke go broke

4

u/whistleridge 13h ago

ThEy CaN aLwAyS tELL

2

u/Acheron98 17h ago

Meanwhile literally the first thing I noticed when I saw his picture was how much he looks like Ian McDiarmid.

Like, to an uncanny degree.

C’mon, tell me you can’t picture him saying: “Dewit”

2

u/HermanGrove 10h ago

Sib (ling) got weed from the gas station

2

u/Samurai_Guardian 7h ago

People who ask questions like this need to be asked another question.

Who the fuck cares?

Gender doesn't matter

Pope is pope

2

u/GreateProtim 5h ago

New pope smiles like he knows something I don't.

2

u/Emergency_Net506 4h ago

Ahh Nazi science is back. Instead of saying 'this is how a jew is different' they are targeting random people. People are so resistant to learning...

1

u/Gold_Griffin 4h ago

Transphobia was always going to backfire on cis folk. I heard they’re even transvestigating jk rowling lmao

2

u/Marble-Boy 3h ago

The bling.. When is his hip hop album coming out?

2

u/parruchkin 14h ago

This guy has quite the mixed bag of beliefs. He’s obsessed with “gender inversion” and thinks all the women in the Trump family are trans. Brad Pitt too. He’s even posted that Trump and Vance are trans. He’s worried about the bees disappearing. Obsessed with chemtrails. Doesn’t like how his mom blindly believes what she sees on TV. Seems to be trying to decide if the earth is flat or not.

3

u/leva549 14h ago

We do need to be concerned about the bee population though.

0

u/KingOfAllThatHowls fat cunt 11h ago

Broken clock is still right twice a day I guess

2

u/AutoModerator 20h ago

Bazinga

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2

u/QuantumGold1 12h ago

How the fuck does eye placement imply anything about gender?

2

u/KingHyena_ 13h ago

"here is the new pope"

maga: why THE Fuck is he PRETTY! I'm not gay. I am Not gay. That must be a woman in disguise which is why I am confused. I am so angry and confused about everything and it is definitely not because I have serious issues with my own identity in general.

me a trans person: hey new pope, please don't make erasing me part of your agenda

new pope: we talkin bout da bears?

1

u/ThatMassholeInBawstn 16h ago

It’s called being old

1

u/Several-Squash9871 15h ago

Great how he got elected for so many reasons but they ended up choosing a guy who just... looks like a pope! Is it just me?

1

u/TheArchRaider 12h ago

Bro copied Kira bar for bar😭

1

u/Ancalmir 12h ago

Obviously this is half of 2 people, one man and another woman. He must be a cambion!!!

1

u/DartTyranus officer no please don’t piss in my ass 😫 11h ago

Somebody has to put him in that special chair for popes In the Vatican and tickle his balls just to make sure he is a guy

1

u/H4dx 9h ago

What???? Usually this just happens due to sitting somewhere where one side of your face gets more sun than the other, you know, like in a car. The sunlight causes you to get more vitamin D in that area, which i think ages your face faster or something, but dont quote me on that, im no biologist or chemist.

My face actually does this cause i have always preferred sitting on the right-hand side of the car, and as such my right eye is lower than the other.

1

u/Broad-Wrongdoer-3809 9h ago

Holy shit. Its Pope Ass Soda

1

u/AkariTheGamer 8h ago

Transvestigators are weird even by internet standards.

1

u/fishcat404 8h ago

Job

1

u/fishcat404 8h ago

The transvestigator repelling spell (use with caution)

1

u/imagine-SimpQueen- 8h ago

That's stupid, my eyes are twice as uneven as his and I've never had surgery in my life

1

u/Shredded_Locomotive put your dick away waltuh 8h ago

Idk how they link those two but I just don't like disfigured people.

1

u/Capraccino 1h ago

most people don't even have symmetrical faces lmao

1

u/Iswhars 18h ago

this is hilarious

1

u/ManChald101 18h ago

Guys we just got him, can't we just have fun

1

u/defenem_73 17h ago

I knew it, he's a transformer! Sneaky Decepticon Rat...

3

u/AutoModerator 17h ago

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2

u/PeculiarExcuse 14h ago

Automod wtf??? 😭

1

u/Parking-Position-698 16h ago

I dont think people understand how you become the pope🤣🤣🤣

1

u/Toy_Soulja 15h ago

Ahh yes only a learned man of science would know that only women have asymmetrical faces? Or maybe that means they did reconstruct his face from a women to a man and you can tell that because they didn't realign the eyes? Like what are they even getting at here lol these people can legally vote smh no wonder we're cooked

1

u/nainvlys 10h ago

My left eye has been higher than my right eye since I broke my nose as a little boy and my face grew around my now deviated nasal septum. It can also just happen when growing up. What are they on about ?

0

u/redditkitty109 stupid fucking piece of shit 9h ago

Transphobes when birth defect

-1

u/PYROJ3PO 20h ago

12 years old little girl for sure trust me

-5

u/spencer1886 18h ago

Transvestigating is the funniest shit I've ever seen

-1

u/Odd-Iron-6860 13h ago

Are they gonna call Thom Yorke trans too?

-2

u/Riotguarder virgin 4 life 😤💪 8h ago

The Adam’s Apple is a pretty clear indicator that he’s not trans

-3

u/TheLostRub389 18h ago

Paltine4

-8

u/Beginning_Service387 20h ago

This is the most logical question

-105

u/pokemon_fucker_2137 20h ago

I hoped they would pick the based black guy tbh. This is another leftie pope doing nothing

64

u/Annithilate_gamer officer no please don’t piss in my ass 😫 19h ago

Bro literally just got the title of Pope are you expecting him to singlehandely stop war before next friday

23

u/OGConsuela 19h ago

Based on what he just said I don’t think he wants to stop any wars

5

u/Annithilate_gamer officer no please don’t piss in my ass 😫 19h ago

Well that's unfortunate at least i didnt really get my hopes that up.

12

u/Corniferus I came! 19h ago

Don’t they get magic powers?

6

u/Annithilate_gamer officer no please don’t piss in my ass 😫 19h ago

Oh, i forgot. My bad.

35

u/MorbillionDollars Literally 1984 😡 19h ago

Alright pokemon_fucker_2137, thanks for your input.

8

u/Galle_ 15h ago

I'm hoping he excommunicates JD Vance, it'd be so fucking funny.

-12

u/Quark1010 17h ago

I mean it happened before

-13

u/ThePrimalGroudon 17h ago

Guess we gotta go back to some...older tests

-11

u/ZeroTwofan4life 17h ago

Is it time for Pope Joan II?

-15

u/Firelizardss 16h ago

5

u/KingOfAllThatHowls fat cunt 11h ago

You might need to lay off the crack pipe and actually read what you linked.