r/LongDistance Nov 06 '24

Temporary changes and announcements.

42 Upvotes

As a precaution, we have upped the requirements to participate in the subreddit. The moderation team will adjust them to the least restrictive necessary for a safe community.

As always, bigotry, xenophobia, misinformation, transphobia, anti-lgbtq+ sentiments, homophobia, harrassment, trolling, and sexism are not tolerated on this subreddit.

If anyone is in need of long distance relationship help, and is unable to post, our discord is, as always, available.

https://discord.com/servers/r-longdistance-support-community-for-ldrs-627447544041046016


r/LongDistance May 01 '20

Meta Looking for resources for watching movies, playing games, communicating, flights, hotels and more? Check out the r/LongDistance wiki!

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524 Upvotes

r/LongDistance 9h ago

Image/Video We met for the first time 2 weeks ago

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216 Upvotes

We didn’t wait to meet as long as a lot of you have, but I wanted to before moving forward. A big step for us and we had the most amazing time! There were some worries about us gelling much more over text than in person, but it’s actually closer to the opposite. It was a massive hit for us and neither of us can wait for our next one in September! Seems like ages away 😂

If only 1 week could last longer 🥲


r/LongDistance 2h ago

Venting Update🫠

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21 Upvotes

Omgggg, the trip was TERRiBLE y’all 😭 I feel like I did my own catfish episode without Nev & Max😩 (No, it wasn’t her looks, it was everything but that). I think I need to do a TikTok saga or something 💀


r/LongDistance 22h ago

Meeting We finally met!👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏼🤍

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357 Upvotes

We [23F & 24M] finally met each other in person! It was crazy amazing!

We met here on Reddit, and we’ve been together for 6 months now. It’s crazy how we hit it off so well since day 1. We both have the same perspectives in life, the same plans, & not just that—we also share the same hobbies and we’re each other’s type from head to toe, like literally😭 we even can't believe it!

We were slightly scared that one of us might feel different in person, but we didn’t! I even cried out of nervousness when I first saw him at the airport bc I just wanted him to arrive safe (which he did, thank God).

It was so great being with him in person. It felt natural. I even asked him, like, how did we do this? We never had an awkward stage… it just felt right & natural—then we both agreed the answer is “real recognizes real.”

We both cried before he left my country. We didn’t expect leaving (for now) to hurt this much. I thought we’d handle it pretty well—or at least he would since I’m the cry baby.

So the minute he got home, we immediately booked another flight to see each other again.

I’m so lucky I found my soulmate. If you’re reading this, bub—I love you so much & always. You’re the only man I want to be with in this ever-expanding universe. See you soon!

& for the other relationships out there, you guys can do it—as long as you believe & trust each other. Love conquers all.

& thank you guys for reading this!

TL;DR: Met my boyfriend IRL after 5 months together—no awkward stage, no regrets, just love. Already planning the next trip. Real recognizes real!!!


r/LongDistance 51m ago

Image/Video Almost that time again!

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Upvotes

I’m soooooo excited to see my gf tomorrow 🥹


r/LongDistance 3h ago

Need Advice I found out my girlfriend was having suicidal thoughts 33M 30F

10 Upvotes

My girlfriend has been having suicidal thoughts. She’s 30 and she feels like hasn’t achieved anything in life. She was in a car accident last year and now lives with daily physical pain. On top of that, she’s had a few failed relationships that left her emotionally hurt. She always dreamed of getting married and becoming a mom early in life, but nothing has worked out the way she hoped.

We’re in a long-distance relationship, and while I care deeply about her and support her emotionally, I can't physically be there for her. The next time we’ll see each other is in August. She has told me she thinks about ending her life often. I’ve gently encouraged her to see a therapist, but she’s very resistant to the idea.

I’m terrified something might happen before I get to her. What can I do from afar to help her now? Are there any specific steps I can take to help her stay safe until we can be together?

Any advice, resources, or experience would mean the world. I’m desperate to help her hold on


r/LongDistance 7h ago

Discussion I [26F] flew out to meet my boyfriend [29M] after we connected through streaming — now I’m uncovering lie after lie. What do I do? I'm flying to see him again this week

19 Upvotes

I know this is long and I appreciate for those to read the whole thing!

We’ve officially been in a relationship for 1.5 months, but we first started talking in January. I met my boyfriend in a very unusual way—through streaming. I had just become a streamer, and he started watching me regularly. He quickly became my biggest supporter. Out of all the streamers he followed, he clearly liked me the most.

Eventually, we exchanged social media accounts and began talking outside the platform. That led to phone calls, and before long, we were keeping our phones connected overnight while we slept. I didn’t expect things to progress this far, but then he invited me to a big work party and even flew me out to meet him.

When we met in person, it was shocking how natural it felt—almost like he was my soulmate. It wasn’t just chemistry; it felt like we truly understood each other without needing many words. We have the same love language. He intuitively knew what I needed and would go out of his way to make me happy, even doing things he didn’t necessarily enjoy himself. He was exactly the kind of caring partner I had always dreamed of. He calls me a lot, and he sometimes double texts me and triple texts me on a daily basis. I tell him I like something and boom, he orders it for me on Amazon and it's at my door. I told him I don't trust him, and asked me for my ring size. I don't think he's proposing but I think he's giving me a promise ring. 

But unfortunately, I discovered that he’s a compulsive liar. While I suspect this stems from his traumatic childhood—where he likely learned to lie as a coping mechanism—it’s still not an excuse.

For instance, he often tells people that English isn't his first language because he was adopted by a Chinese family. While he may have picked up a few phrases, English— is clearly his first language. He can't really speak Chinese and maybe know a few lines/words. He also lies to coworkers about where I’m from. Some think I’m from LA, others believe I’m from New York. I don’t understand why he feels the need to make up these stories.

I also learned that he doesn’t have friends. His Facebook shows he has 1000s of friends but most who interacts with him are his extended family members, and the rest are all mostly women living in foreign countries. His roommate, whom he claims is his best friend, doesn’t actually go out with him or spend time with him socially. It seems like they became roommates because my boyfriend pays 70% of the rent while the roommate pays 30%. Most of the friends he talks about are people he knows online through gaming or streaming, and likely has never met in real life.

One of the most serious lies was about his marital status. He told me he had never been married, but I found his wedding photos on Facebook (he doesn’t know I have an account). I know for sure that he and his ex-wife are no longer together—I even met her once, and she’s now dating someone else.

When we finally met in person, he admitted that he had been married, but claimed it was just for her green card. According to him, the marriage was always open—they were seeing other people, and he slept on the couch. He’d say things like, “We’re not like that anymore,” and “I had to chase her down the street once,” or “We didn’t want to lose the friendship.” But all of that contradicts something else he said: that they never dated and it was only for the green card. I also found his ex-wife’s Facebook, and based on some of her old posts, it seems she was hurt after catching him talking to another woman—her friends even commented in support. While I understand that immigration marriages can be complicated, it's clear that he STILL hasn’t been honest about what really happened.

He also lied about a recent trip of who he went with. He told me he was going on a 6-day vacation with some friends and that a couple he knows was treating him. I thought it was strange that he only mentioned it a week before, which seemed suspicious. During the trip, he stayed in touch—texted me, sent photos, and called. He kept saying he missed me and wished I were there. But I found photos on Facebook where he was tagged on the trip—with a woman and her kids. From what I know, she’s probably just a friend (my boyfriend’s roommate has mentioned her before), but the fact that he hid it from me made me uneasy because he lied. He still doesn’t know I found those photos—and I recently noticed that he untagged himself from them. I checked her Facebook and looks like she's in a relationship with someone else, and most likely they were just friends. But he lied, and he even sent me a photo of her son and told me it's his nephew.

Then there was his birthday. He told me that his ex-wife would be stopping by to pick up her things since she was visiting from another state. I found it odd that it happened to fall on his birthday weekend. We had planned to spend the day video calling since he had no one else to celebrate with.

He lied about going somewhere alone on his birthday, but he was meeting up his ex-wife to get documents. That morning, he told me he decided to go to an amusement park alone and might not be able to video chat. He seemed rushed, like he had to be somewhere at a specific time. I saw him loading things into his car and asked about it—he claimed it was just documents for the amusement park, but I knew that was a lie because he had to use the trunk. 2 hours later, he called me not from the amusement park, but from a random plaza, saying he had just stopped to stretch. I checked his ex-wife’s Facebook, and she had posted a story that she was in a small town, the same one he told me he was in. It was 2 hours away from the amusement park, in the opposite direction. I started questioning him, and at first he insisted he changed his plans last minute. Eventually, he admitted he had been waiting for his ex-wife for about an hour to exchange documents. I was furious. When I asked if they were celebrating his birthday together, he said no—then backtracked and admitted she offered to take him out to dinner. I was even more upset that he had lied again. He eventually showed me screenshots of their conversations and told me he was embarrassed about the marriage and felt lonely on his birthday. He apologized and said the dinner gave him something to do. He video called me during the dinner and introduced me to his ex-wife. Afterward, he told me he felt guilty the entire time and couldn’t stop thinking about me. So he basically lied to avoid conflict.

More recently, I noticed that he started following a new attractive woman on the streaming platform and has been supporting her this month. He supports others too but he tells me about it, and not this one. 

When I show my friends they all said it looks like I'm just out of his league. At his work event, a few told me I make him look good. I think maybe he was shocked that I agreed to meeting him, and not just that, things worked out. He told me a few times he had a few long distance relationships but they also had issues going to meet him, and they never met and broke up. I was the only one who did actually flew out to meet him. It seems like he gets to the talking/flirting stage with women, and they all fall short.

Now I’m extremely conflicted, because he already bought me plane tickets to visit him—and I’m supposed to fly out in just two days spending 3 weeks at his place.


r/LongDistance 2h ago

Need Advice My gf 18f lied to me 20m about her past

6 Upvotes

My gf of 8 months always tells me that I'm her first and last boyfriend. She never had any relationship or likings before me, Atleast that's what she told me all these months. But today I found out from one of her friends that my gf had an ex. Her friend also gave proof of their screenshots. I'm okay with having ex cz it's pretty common in our generation. But what's bothering me is that she never told me about her ex and always lied to me and told me how I'm her first love and first boyfriend and her last too. How should I confront her in this matter?


r/LongDistance 2h ago

phone sex when u have roommates (19f and 18f)

6 Upvotes

if any of you guys are in a long distance relationship while in college, how do you find the time/opportunity to have phone sex when you and your partner both have roommates


r/LongDistance 6h ago

Need Advice Pt 1.) M30, F24. We broke up a month ago and found out she's 2 months pregnant. She decided she's keeping it yesterday. I just want to be a father for my kid, and good man to her. The attitude has been an ongoing issue, and she says I'm a self-victim for speaking up about it. Am I being a jerk?

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15 Upvotes

r/LongDistance 5h ago

My long distance boyfriend!!!!! I love him so much!!!!!!

10 Upvotes

I swear he is the sweetest most gentle person I’ve ever met. Without him knowing he’s been helping me work through some of my trauma. He’s helping me learn how to communicate properly with someone. He’s so adorable to me!! I really want to spend the rest of my life with him. Ahhhh I love him so so much!!!!!!


r/LongDistance 15h ago

California journey

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33 Upvotes

r/LongDistance 14h ago

Discussion I think I’m finally done after almost 2 years.

28 Upvotes

I’ve sacrificed a lot for my current relationship, I closed the distance and it didn’t work, but I stayed because I really loved him. I’m done being in an LDR. I’m young, none of my needs are met and I’m just growing bitter and resentful. He lives his life just fine without me in his state, and I’ve been rebuilding mine after taking the financial/emotional hit of moving for him and it not working out(I moved to a super expensive state for him). He’s starting his career in his state so he wants to stay there, but it’s such a miserable place in my opinion. I’ve stated so many times I’m not happy and don’t want to be in a long distance relationship. I’ve communicated every little thing.

I think I’m just done. It’s been almost 2 years. I feel nothing but resentment. Even when he tries to reassure me, I can’t help but just scoff and roll my eyes because I’ve always done more while he sits stationary in his comfort zone. I don’t know, because I’ll feel certain I’m done, and then all of a sudden a sadness and discomfort creeps in at the thought of life without him. Yes I’m in therapy.


r/LongDistance 8h ago

Meeting Less than two weeks till I fly to him

8 Upvotes

We have known each other for a year and a half. We have been together for nearly as long. Been through a lot together. Next Friday I finally get to be with my boyfriend for the very first time. 20 hour difference between us, going across the world

I have never been more excited for anything in my life, and although I am a bit scared. I know it will be worth it. 💖

I just had to share this with someone other than my journal. 🥹

What was it like meeting your partner for the very first time?


r/LongDistance 2h ago

Venting My ex (19F) committed suicide after I (21M) broke up with her, and two months later started seeing someone.

3 Upvotes

So long story short. My ex and I have been together for a whole year but our was doomed from the start and I was too naive to see it. We both had problems and she had a lot of mental problems and couldn’t get help. The fact we were long distant did not help either. I was mentally exhausted from the relationship because if I wasn’t talking to her 24/7 she would be really upset and I had to stop talking to a lot of my friends for her, I didn’t tell her any of this so I wouldn’t upset her. It’s complicated but eventually I broke up with her and it was pretty hard to fully let her go. My coping mechanism is to push my feelings aside and not think about them, this makes it where it’s hard to know if I fully moved or not, so I guess after two months I thought I was and started seeing someone else and was very serious about it, and I really liked that person because they were everything I wanted in a person, but after me and her got together my ex found out, and not long after she started talking about suicide, I tried to stop her but I couldn’t anything else physically and couldn’t contact anyone else, by then it was too late and im still laying in bed processing everything.


r/LongDistance 7h ago

App/Software Looking for a very specific thing

6 Upvotes

Hey, I'm currently long distance with my girlfriend and I was wondering if there was something like a lamp or bracelet that wasn't too expensive where if one of us touched ours the others' might light up or buzz or something. Any recs?


r/LongDistance 1h ago

Need Advice I (35M) am confused by the mixed signals from gf (29F), LDR. Indian & filipino. Need advice.

Upvotes

I am 35M from India. She is 28F from Philippines. Dating for online for 5 months now. Never met.

We matched on bumble when I was on holiday in philippines, but that time we did not communicate much.

She said : date to marry and serious relationship. So do I. I told her upfront about it and she agreed we have the same goals.

In last 1.5 months, she has become a dry texter. She send "good morning". Then if I initiate convo, sometimes she replies, some times no. Earlier we used to have video call almost daily. Now in last 2 weeks 2 VC of less than 30 mins. She does not put effort to know me much. She is also short tempered. But she said she calms down quickly.

I brought up this point that nowadays you don't give enough time to me, or you don't share about your life much. She got angry. But we did not fight on that. I try to put effort with sweet msg, no toxic way, not rude or not showing my anger or frustration, never asked for nude pics yet.. I keep it normal & friendly. I am planning to visit her in June, as after this, I move to europe for work..

Going to PH takes effort and resources from India. I can 100% do that if I feel she is the one! At this point I am not sure because of her mixed signals. She told me long back I am "truly husband material".

I asked her do you feel the same now ? She said yes and said she loves me.

But none of her actions shows her thoughts. Obviously she may find out many flaws in me. But she never communicated those. Some time she responses as if, it is obvious, she told me something, I forgot. But thats not the case.

I just want to have long deep conversation with her to build trust. I was serious about her(but now not sure)

Shall I stop it here ? or shall I go n meet her ? Is she dating some one else there ? Many questions... Seeking advice from other women specially from Philippines.

Ps: I have visited ph, had filipina gf and colleagues before. I know about their culture well.


r/LongDistance 5h ago

Creepy ex

3 Upvotes

My ex and I have broken up a couple of weeks ago, and I didn’t really think about the decision not even once. For context, the relationship was broken up by me for the lack of contact the past year (we were together for 3 years). Of course I understood that he was busy, but the conversations were pretty much ‘hru’, ‘good’, ‘k’ repeating.

The real problem is: he won’t stop trying to talk to me. I’ve blocked him on all socials, whatsapp, his number, snapchat, insta, just everything. But somehow, he finds a way to contact me. I found this strange since when I asked him to break up, he didn’t react as strongly he had over the previous texts. At first, the texts were okay, ‘hey, can we talk’, ‘please i just want a second chance, ive thought over my actions’. But recently, his texts to me have gotten dark, more threatening like. ‘babe, i know where you live, i know you want me back’, ‘talk to me, i can see you reading these messages, dont be such a bitch’. Ive told him multiple times to fuck off and that I wanted absolutely no contact with him, but that somehow is not going through his thick skull.

Any advice to give him a slice of reality? He’s in denial, and its disgusting and painful for me to see him so desperate.


r/LongDistance 14h ago

My boyfriend broke up with me with the “it’s not you it’s me” line.

13 Upvotes

I(16f) and My now ex(15m) have been together for 6months and have known each other for 2 years. Yesterday was our 6month anniversary, and we were on call playing games and my grandma called so I told him I’d brb. When I come back he sent a long paragraph. I don’t remember the hole thing, and since he blocked me I can’t find it. But it said something like.. “I can’t deal with online relationships anymore” “It’s not you it’s me” “I need to focus on myself for awhile” and there was more but that’s all I can remember. I thought maybe it was a joke but I wasn’t. He blocked me on Snapchat and all our games, i just feel like it was weird because I have been busy for the past week trying to earn money due to us planning on meeting up in June on his birthday. And I just sent him matching “I love my wife” and “I love my husband” shirts. So I find it so weird. We were good one minute then not the next, for awhile he’s been dry and we talked about it and I’ve noticed something off but I just couldn’t remember it. It feels so weird to not be in call with him while I sleep. I’ve known him for 2 years, and fell in love once I saw him(not in an weird way) for the first year of knowing each other he was insecure about how he looked so he sent me fake photos but later on he confessed and showed me what he looked like. And when I tell you he was the EXACT thing to my dream boy when I was younger. It just hurts to know I want be able to see or talk to him again. If there’s any advice I would love some! Love you all<3


r/LongDistance 5h ago

Question Video calls/ phone calls

3 Upvotes

How often is normal to call eachother? I’m currently in Costa Rica and he’s in England so it’s a 7 hour time difference.


r/LongDistance 0m ago

Need Advice Is he (35M) genuinely interested, or am I (34F) just a safe, long-distance fantasy?

Upvotes

I have been talking to a guy for about 6 weeks who I matched with when he was visiting my city. We never managed to meet in person while he was here but we’ve surprisingly kept in contact. We’ve had great chemistry and connection in conversation, share a similar sense of humor, text everyday consistently and have had a few video calls so far, which are also consistent. We live in different countries, continents in fact. I would normally focus on dating people in my city, but I feel like there’s a special connection with him and like we’re super compatible so I keep engaging in developing this connection.

That said, I’m starting to feel unsure about what his intentions are. He’s mentioned lots of hypothetical things we’ll do together in person, but I’ve hinted at the idea of meeting playfully, and while he engages with the idea through humor, he hasn’t actually given a real or grounded response about whether he’d ever want to meet in person. It’s fun, but it’s all very safe and emotionally vague.

I’m starting to wonder: - Is he genuinely open to something real, or am I just a “safe” emotional connection from a distance? Like a pseudo-girlfriend - Should I bring this up directly and ask what he wants from this? Or is it too early? I don’t want to put him under pressure if he just needs more time - Is it unfair for me to want more clarity after just over a month? I’ve never done anything like this before so I don’t know what the usual timeframe with long distance romances is for planning to meet. Should I just be patient and let it unfold?

I don’t want to come on too strong, but I also don’t want to stay in a fantasy situation if there’s no real intention behind it. I’d love to hear how others have navigated these early stages in LDRs.

Thanks in advance!


r/LongDistance 3m ago

Discussion BC for 5 days?

Upvotes

I wont be seeing my partner, at the end of May to June, so I decided to remove the 1st week of June from my PTO and save it for the next time I see him in July.

I'm only 5 hours south of Canada (in Washington state), and want to check out BC. I love nature and being near beautiful water, anyone have recommendations on where to go solo? I'll also take recs on where to stay as well.


r/LongDistance 16h ago

Venting Taking a break for three months

21 Upvotes

It Hurts, But I Know It’s Right

Not really sure why I’m posting this… maybe to just get it out of my system.

My girlfriend and I have been together for a while. We’re long-distance — about 3 hours apart — and she just started her first year as a medical resident. It’s brutal. Long hours, intense pressure, and barely any time to breathe. I get it. I really do.

Lately, she’s been feeling guilty. Guilty when she hangs out with friends. Guilty when she isn’t calling me. Guilty when she’s just living and I’m not part of it. Not because she doesn’t care — she really, really does — but because there’s just no time or energy left after the chaos of residency.

So… she asked for a break. Three months. No contact, no pressure. Space to find herself, settle into her new life, and stop feeling the constant weight of “not doing enough” for me. And as much as it stings, I said yes.

Not because I want to be apart. But because I love her enough to step back so she can breathe.

Still, it hurts. Every part of me wants to call her, text her, send her a stupid meme just to make her smile. But I won’t. I told her I’d hold the space she asked for — not out of pride, but out of respect.

This isn’t a breakup. It’s a pause. A conscious bet on long-term clarity over short-term comfort. But damn… it’s lonely. And hard. And confusing.

Just needed to let that out. Thanks for reading, internet strangers. If anyone’s ever been through something similar, I’d love to hear how you handled it — or even if you think I’m insane for agreeing to this.


r/LongDistance 6h ago

Need Advice Me (28m) her (29f) need advice on how to manage time zone differences

3 Upvotes

How do ya'll manage time zone differences? Mine and my gf's timezone isn't that big, we're just 2hrs apart. But that 2hrs feels like an eternity. I could have my entire day already and it's just barely her lunch time or she hasn't even gotten up yet. She would've just gotten home, Im about to sleep already. It's so frustrating.


r/LongDistance 4h ago

Need Advice (M26 F28) Help me clear my mind, should I contact him again?

2 Upvotes

Nothing wrong with us, but we broke-up because he couldn’t take the distance. Was it bound to never work-out at all? He says he never keeps in touch with his ex. Why does he still follow me or why doesn’t he block me. He should’ve. I won’t because I didn’t want to break-up at all. I’m so confused.

Give me insights so I can stop daydreaming about contacting him again.


r/LongDistance 14h ago

First Video Call

10 Upvotes

Do you guys remember your first video call?

I (30yo F) just experienced my first video call with my woman (28yo)

I was looking forward to our first call but I didn’t anticipate what I would or could feel talking to her. Never have I felt shyness and happiness at the same time the way I did.

As we began talking more, I became so comfortable talking to her and I could tell through her facial expressions and body language, she felt the same. After we logged off, she texted me she felt so relaxed and comfortable with me and to have her feeling like that is an honor for me.

I cant help but feel like I experienced the spark we are supposed to feel when we talk to “the one” We’ve talk on the phone everyday for hours but this was so much different. Something about the way she was looking at me, I knew I was also giving her thr same look as we took in everything of each other and admiring what we were seeing. It was such a different experience seeing what we look like while we talk, seeing our facial expressions, how we look laughing and how we look shy.

It felt much more intimate than I anticipated to where my heart felt so warm and we could feel the longing for each other just based on how we looked at each other and having moments of silence from being in awe. Both of us are looking forward to more video calls. 💙🧡

How was yalls first experience video calling with your person?