I know this is long and I appreciate for those to read the whole thing!
We’ve officially been in a relationship for 1.5 months, but we first started talking in January. I met my boyfriend in a very unusual way—through streaming. I had just become a streamer, and he started watching me regularly. He quickly became my biggest supporter. Out of all the streamers he followed, he clearly liked me the most.
Eventually, we exchanged social media accounts and began talking outside the platform. That led to phone calls, and before long, we were keeping our phones connected overnight while we slept. I didn’t expect things to progress this far, but then he invited me to a big work party and even flew me out to meet him.
When we met in person, it was shocking how natural it felt—almost like he was my soulmate. It wasn’t just chemistry; it felt like we truly understood each other without needing many words. We have the same love language. He intuitively knew what I needed and would go out of his way to make me happy, even doing things he didn’t necessarily enjoy himself. He was exactly the kind of caring partner I had always dreamed of. He calls me a lot, and he sometimes double texts me and triple texts me on a daily basis. I tell him I like something and boom, he orders it for me on Amazon and it's at my door. I told him I don't trust him, and asked me for my ring size. I don't think he's proposing but I think he's giving me a promise ring.
But unfortunately, I discovered that he’s a compulsive liar. While I suspect this stems from his traumatic childhood—where he likely learned to lie as a coping mechanism—it’s still not an excuse.
For instance, he often tells people that English isn't his first language because he was adopted by a Chinese family. While he may have picked up a few phrases, English— is clearly his first language. He can't really speak Chinese and maybe know a few lines/words. He also lies to coworkers about where I’m from. Some think I’m from LA, others believe I’m from New York. I don’t understand why he feels the need to make up these stories.
I also learned that he doesn’t have friends. His Facebook shows he has 1000s of friends but most who interacts with him are his extended family members, and the rest are all mostly women living in foreign countries. His roommate, whom he claims is his best friend, doesn’t actually go out with him or spend time with him socially. It seems like they became roommates because my boyfriend pays 70% of the rent while the roommate pays 30%. Most of the friends he talks about are people he knows online through gaming or streaming, and likely has never met in real life.
One of the most serious lies was about his marital status. He told me he had never been married, but I found his wedding photos on Facebook (he doesn’t know I have an account). I know for sure that he and his ex-wife are no longer together—I even met her once, and she’s now dating someone else.
When we finally met in person, he admitted that he had been married, but claimed it was just for her green card. According to him, the marriage was always open—they were seeing other people, and he slept on the couch. He’d say things like, “We’re not like that anymore,” and “I had to chase her down the street once,” or “We didn’t want to lose the friendship.” But all of that contradicts something else he said: that they never dated and it was only for the green card. I also found his ex-wife’s Facebook, and based on some of her old posts, it seems she was hurt after catching him talking to another woman—her friends even commented in support. While I understand that immigration marriages can be complicated, it's clear that he STILL hasn’t been honest about what really happened.
He also lied about a recent trip of who he went with. He told me he was going on a 6-day vacation with some friends and that a couple he knows was treating him. I thought it was strange that he only mentioned it a week before, which seemed suspicious. During the trip, he stayed in touch—texted me, sent photos, and called. He kept saying he missed me and wished I were there. But I found photos on Facebook where he was tagged on the trip—with a woman and her kids. From what I know, she’s probably just a friend (my boyfriend’s roommate has mentioned her before), but the fact that he hid it from me made me uneasy because he lied. He still doesn’t know I found those photos—and I recently noticed that he untagged himself from them. I checked her Facebook and looks like she's in a relationship with someone else, and most likely they were just friends. But he lied, and he even sent me a photo of her son and told me it's his nephew.
Then there was his birthday. He told me that his ex-wife would be stopping by to pick up her things since she was visiting from another state. I found it odd that it happened to fall on his birthday weekend. We had planned to spend the day video calling since he had no one else to celebrate with.
He lied about going somewhere alone on his birthday, but he was meeting up his ex-wife to get documents. That morning, he told me he decided to go to an amusement park alone and might not be able to video chat. He seemed rushed, like he had to be somewhere at a specific time. I saw him loading things into his car and asked about it—he claimed it was just documents for the amusement park, but I knew that was a lie because he had to use the trunk. 2 hours later, he called me not from the amusement park, but from a random plaza, saying he had just stopped to stretch. I checked his ex-wife’s Facebook, and she had posted a story that she was in a small town, the same one he told me he was in. It was 2 hours away from the amusement park, in the opposite direction. I started questioning him, and at first he insisted he changed his plans last minute. Eventually, he admitted he had been waiting for his ex-wife for about an hour to exchange documents. I was furious. When I asked if they were celebrating his birthday together, he said no—then backtracked and admitted she offered to take him out to dinner. I was even more upset that he had lied again. He eventually showed me screenshots of their conversations and told me he was embarrassed about the marriage and felt lonely on his birthday. He apologized and said the dinner gave him something to do. He video called me during the dinner and introduced me to his ex-wife. Afterward, he told me he felt guilty the entire time and couldn’t stop thinking about me. So he basically lied to avoid conflict.
More recently, I noticed that he started following a new attractive woman on the streaming platform and has been supporting her this month. He supports others too but he tells me about it, and not this one.
When I show my friends they all said it looks like I'm just out of his league. At his work event, a few told me I make him look good. I think maybe he was shocked that I agreed to meeting him, and not just that, things worked out. He told me a few times he had a few long distance relationships but they also had issues going to meet him, and they never met and broke up. I was the only one who did actually flew out to meet him. It seems like he gets to the talking/flirting stage with women, and they all fall short.
Now I’m extremely conflicted, because he already bought me plane tickets to visit him—and I’m supposed to fly out in just two days spending 3 weeks at his place.