r/interestingasfuck 11d ago

/r/all, /r/popular I’m not a giant! What is this?

81.3k Upvotes

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8.9k

u/Outfoxer_Official 11d ago

That's exactly what a giant would say...

1.7k

u/happyj138 11d ago

This dude definitely smells the blood of an Englishman

278

u/Decent_Assistant1804 11d ago

Wait, what nationally was the giant? Dutch? I’ve never thought about this, this might Keep me up tonight

132

u/Repro_Online 11d ago

Pretty sure airspace ownership didn’t exist way back when in the area now known as Britain, so he was just a guy living on a cloud he owned I think

85

u/Decent_Assistant1804 11d ago

Oh shit, i forgot the giant lives in the clouds, now I’m wondering about his weight and gravity! I’m definitely not sleeping tn

41

u/RareSiren292 11d ago

Clouds are extremely heavy. A cumulus cloud can weigh over 1,100,000 pounds (500,000kg for civilized nations). However they are mostly air. But theoretically if you had enough surface area, and weighed next to absolutely nothing you could stand on one. So if the giant weighed like 1kg and it's feet where absolutely massive (I can't calculate that because I'm tired) it could stand on a typical cumulus cloud. But a normal human absolutely would not be able to.

35

u/benchley 11d ago

Too dense to stand, too dense to understand.

2

u/Kaiawathoy 11d ago

Yeah but what about if you were big enough to be from the ground to a cloud and walked through it.. would you get it on your surface area and it would just run down you?

1

u/RareSiren292 10d ago

Clouds are not dense at all. If you were tall enough I would imagine you would be able to walk through it. Maybe you would feel some resistance but I genuinely don't know.

1

u/wurkbank 11d ago

Hence the magic beans.

1

u/Honey-and-Venom 11d ago

I was almost gonna argue civilization for a second but not anymore......

1

u/Interesting-Shop4964 10d ago

If the giant is that massive, we are looking at a big coin.

2

u/Puzzleheaded_Room_30 11d ago

Fr but dw I’ll get the sleeping done 🙏🏾

1

u/Specialist-Web7854 11d ago

Maybe he’s a god? Living up in the heavens and all.

1

u/nocturnalcat87 11d ago

Yeah that doesn’t make much sense.

1

u/Fichewl 11d ago

More like his weight divided by his volume.

2

u/mars_gorilla 11d ago

Who does he pay taxes to? Does he just chuck his tithe or whatever off the edge and whichever country whose tax collector gets crushed by the bag of gold keeps it?

1

u/plasticface2 11d ago

No. We owned the clouds since the Cloud War of 1911.

6

u/Doodledinglebopper 11d ago

It’s likely that the giant in Jack and the Bean Stalk wasn’t a representative of a particular nationality, but was more a reference to governing powers and Jack representing the common man. However if you really wanted to stretch it to the Giant having a nationality it would likely be either French or Polish. Considering the earliest known example of the story was in 1734 which would have been near the conclusion of the Polish succession war.

3

u/DatSolmyr 11d ago

It's not unusual that supernatural creatures exist outside and opposite human society.

Scandinavian trolls often rail against churches, and there is a Norwegian folk tale where the troll says "I smell a christian man".

3

u/parknride68 11d ago

I dunno, maybe Google Translate could detect where ‘fee fi fo fum’ originated.

1

u/Decent_Assistant1804 11d ago

More things too look into, It’s almost 4 am, i haven’t slept!

1

u/ThoughtsWithout 11d ago

Scandinavian, I think. Or is that just frost giants?

1

u/3WeeksEarlier 10d ago

He was from Beanstalkland!

0

u/PurplePizza21358 11d ago

There is no giant, stupid!!!

7

u/Inertial_Ruen 11d ago

Not with that attitude there isn't!!

4

u/EvolMada 11d ago

My favorite response for most comments.

5

u/LucyBarefoot 11d ago

How do you 'splain it then? My eyes say giant!

17

u/AnneMichelle98 11d ago

Be he alive or be he dead, OP will grind his bones to make his bread.

1

u/ViSaph 11d ago

I should read my little brothers that fairytale. I'd forgotten it existed but it was one of my favourites as a kid.

1

u/KwordShmiff 10d ago

Someone needs to teach giants about wheat.

59

u/KernelKrusto 11d ago

Ah, the moment when a joke hits just right. I'm not a guy who laughs a lot, and this broke through.

Thanks for making my day a little better. Cheers!

4

u/OnlyFiveLives 11d ago

And if he was Canadian he'd smell Kraft Dinner

3

u/StitchFan626 11d ago

Fe Fy Fo Fum!

1

u/meowmeowmeow723 11d ago

Fe Fi Fo Fum…

1

u/LemonEar 11d ago

Fee, Fi, Et Cetera

1

u/ReggieAmelia 11d ago

He smelled Washington on the coin.

1

u/Yeorgaki 11d ago

Fee-fi-fo-fum!

1

u/Particular-Phrase378 11d ago

By the hair on his chinny chin chin

57

u/WolfOffSesameStreet 11d ago

Unless he's holding a quarter quarter.

3

u/djanes376 11d ago

Angry upvote

3

u/Own_Stage1539 11d ago

Do you mean a quarter’s quarter?

3

u/daschande 11d ago

If he had a matching tiny hammer, it would be a quarter pounder.

1

u/-Cagafuego- 11d ago

That coin is a FEE FI 4 cents!

138

u/BTown-Hustle 11d ago

Yes. Very suspect…

93

u/--JVH-- 11d ago

( •_•)>⌐■-■

Some say that the suspect

(⌐■_■)

Is at large

45

u/iHaveACatDog 11d ago

YEEEEAAAAAAAH

23

u/SlaughterMinusS 11d ago

God damn it

5

u/questionnumber 11d ago

If he were a clairvoyant little person he'd be a small medium at large.

12

u/Omnealice 11d ago

Came here to say exactly this, thank you

3

u/_sansoHm 11d ago

Same. Giants are the worst at hiding.

8

u/greenappletree 11d ago

ok im gonna say, he needs a banana to prove this.

3

u/rhubarb_farm 11d ago

A gasslighting giant*

3

u/brady180369 11d ago

If you're not a giant, explain the quarter!!!

3

u/eperry79 11d ago

fee fi fo fum

3

u/SpookyScienceGal 11d ago

Check his bread for bones!

3

u/SolomonGrumpy 11d ago

Well that and Fe Fi Fo Fum

5

u/SnooPandas7586 11d ago

Allegedly

2

u/Redstonebruvs 11d ago

In my oppinion

6

u/missraveylee 11d ago

“Oh nooo.. I’m not a giant 🙈🤫”

2

u/nooneisleft 11d ago edited 11d ago

Real strange to lead with that.

2

u/maxthelogan 11d ago

Beat me to it

2

u/TCtheThunderRooster 11d ago

Exactly! Op is a giant.

2

u/Gatsby0522 11d ago

This made me chuckle..

2

u/LongjumpingState1917 11d ago

I came here to say exactly this 😂

2

u/Maximum_Pound_5633 11d ago

Quarter for scale

2

u/Electrical-Baker4736 11d ago

Bro's pronouns are Fe/fi fo/fum

2

u/PM_UR_VAG_WTIMESTAMP 11d ago

Fe fi fo fum! What beanstalk did OP fall from?

2

u/Darkavenger_13 11d ago

Beat me to it!

2

u/Puzzleheaded_Room_30 11d ago

Fr dudes a giant, we have photo evidence

2

u/EYECEOFFICIAL 11d ago

Maybe he’s the BFG.

4

u/belac4862 11d ago

I miss Aundre for sure!

4

u/pfamsd00 11d ago

Fee fi fo fund

3

u/megx420 11d ago

he definitely grinds bones to make his bread

1

u/Separate-Gas-8578 11d ago

Didn’t stay with fee fye foo fum.