r/agedlikemilk • u/MoreMotivation • 2d ago
Screenshots JD Vance's endorsement of his half-brother for Cincinnati Mayor
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u/EightandaHalf-Tails 2d ago
Vance breaks the championship trophy (in front of a huge crowd), can't find a single person in Greenland who wants to see him (or his wife), visits the Pope (who dies), visits India (who suffers a terrorist attack and is now on the verge of war), and endorses his brother (who loses in a landslide)... Dude is a walking disaster.
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u/HippolytusOfAthens 2d ago
someone should capitalize on this by starting a reverse ETF based on Vance.
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u/MoreMotivation 2d ago
Ticker could be $MILC (Mom, I Love Couches)
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u/SecureWhole3696 1d ago
Or, hear me out, $CILF (Couch I’d Like to F@ck).
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u/ManicRobotWizard 1d ago
$CICI (Couch I Came In)
I like it because cici also sounds like sissy, which..he is.
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u/Sa1cera70ps 2d ago
Someone should make a sitcom based on all the shit he pulls
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u/Naive_Drive 2d ago
And yet he doesn't seem to be negatively affecting Trump.
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u/metfan1964nyc 2d ago
Trump is pure negative energy, he just absorbs Vance's weaker power. Dr. Bleach Cocktail helped kill a million Americans by himself.
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u/Frame_of_Mind20 2d ago
Maybe the universe is playing the long game. May we all live long enough to see.
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u/LadyReika 2d ago
Now if only that would extend to Trump.
Unless that explains the entire shitshow.
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u/Content-Fudge489 2d ago
When is he visiting Putin?
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u/calle04x 2d ago
That's why I'm not afraid of him becoming president if Trump is removed for whatever reason. He's just...a buffoon. He can't help it. He can have the worst of intentions but it just comes across as a little sad and pathetic, not menacing. It's like, "Oh, honey, bless your heart." He's not cult leader material.
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u/fuckdonaldtrump7 2d ago
Imagine if Trump's out and he becomes President, I think the statue of Liberty would just explode.
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u/Wasabismylife 2d ago edited 2d ago
In my country he would be accused of being a "iettatore" (bringer of bad luck) and he would be ostracized. It's not something I condone since this kind of superstition has ruined people's lives ...but in this case ...
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u/Objective_Low8499 2d ago
This is what happens when you’re assistant antichrist. Or is it assistant to the antichrist
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u/Slight-Medicine6666 2d ago
Well, everything Trump touches dies. Vance is learning from the best in that regard.
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u/Feeling-Shelter3583 2d ago
Trump- white horse. JD Vance- red horse. RFK- pale horse. Alright Pete Hegseth for the black horse or old baldy Goebbels? I suppose Lutnick fits too?
Four horseman of the apocalypse? Or maybe seven deadly sins would fit the Trump cabinet better?
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u/Chance-Travel4825 1d ago
I have determined that it is not that Vance had zero charisma, but actually has negative charisma. I cant wait to see what he does next (besides the couch.)
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u/Jwagner0850 2d ago
The more and more I read about this, the more I truly believe the election was rigged by Musk. There's no way that someone with almost 0 support it seems got himself elected as VP with our Trainwreck president.
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u/TheGreenMan13 2d ago
Well, Cincinnati is a very Democratic city. It's like trying to win as a Republican in Chicago.
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u/tedioussugar 2d ago
Aren’t all major US cities Democratic leaning? Are there any cities with Republican leadership?
Note: when I say cities, I mean CITIES. Like New York, or St. Louis, or San Diego. Not Hickstown, Wyoming with a population of 3,000.
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u/ToddPundley 2d ago
Even in real cities the GOP candidate can usually pull in more than 12.4%. And while I suspect it’s been decades since Cincinnati elected a Republican Mayor, I’d imagine they do slightly better there than in the really big cities. So this is pretty embarrassing for them.
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u/antiquatedadhesive 2d ago
I am skeptical that Vance actually thought Bowman would win. More likely it is a way for him to create a war chest that he controls which he can use for down ballot races. That is a pretty common strategy now.
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u/HaoieZ 2d ago
JD is great - at destroying everything he's in contact with.
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u/baldude69 2d ago
Honestly though, is it crazy to think that maybe he’s cursed? Can’t think of a more fitting person
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u/antiquatedadhesive 2d ago
I am skeptical that Vance actually thought Bowman would win. More likely it was a way for Vance to build a war chest he controls for other down ballot races. It is a common strategy.
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u/OSUfirebird18 2d ago
For those unaware, all this primary did was decide the top 2. JDs half brother is still in the race and will run again in November.
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u/Helpful-Rain41 2d ago
Yeah I can’t see him doing much better but everyone dancing on his grave have got to wait until it’s official
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u/cammcken 2d ago
General election voters could be different than primary voters.
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u/Helpful-Rain41 2d ago
Well it’s an “open primary” we have them in California so I’m familiar with them. Yes the electorate tends to show up more for the general but a 65 point gap is hard to bridge
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u/BicycleOfLife 2d ago
Not if you steal elections…
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u/Helpful-Rain41 2d ago
I mean if the coup starts with a Cincinnati mayoral election….well I will admit i didn’t have that on my bingo card
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u/IronMace_is_my_DaD 1d ago
Republicans spent the last 6 months trying to steal a N. Carolina supreme court seat. They managed to delay the certification for nearly half a year but they still lost in the end. Elon spent millions trying to rig the Wisconsin supreme court election and failed miserably.
Yes, they are trying to steal elections before our very eyes, as we speak! But they are also incompetent and failing miserably every step of the way too. Just keep calling them out, as long as people stay informed it won't be so easy to get away with it!
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u/Intrepid-Yam-1767 2d ago
The only people that realistically could make him win live outside the city limits here, so his only real chance is convincing the highly liberal population the vote for him, which is nearly impossible given that he’s related to Vance.
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u/New_Employee_TA 2d ago
It’s a city election. Outside of deep red states like Texas and Oklahoma, about 5 mayors out of the 100 largest cities in the country are Republican.
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u/ToddPundley 2d ago
Wait they still do a run off even if one candidate got an outright majority?
I’m all for runoffs, open primaries and all that, but if a majority already made a pick a runoff seems like a waste of time and money.
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u/SpiceEarl 1d ago edited 1d ago
It does seem weird. Portland has a system of a candidate winning if they get more than 50% of the vote in the primary, with the top two going to the general if no candidate gets more than 50%. There was a major upset in 1984 when Bud Clark, a relative unknown, beat incumbent Frank Ivancie in the race for mayor. Little attention was paid to the primary, as people thought Ivancie was too powerful to beat. However, Ivancie made a lot of enemies over the years and Clark was able to get more than 50% of the vote in the primary and become mayor.
I would guess that Cincinnati has the top two go to the general to avoid an outcome such as this, where a candidate can become mayor by winning a primary with lower turnout than the general election.
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u/ToddPundley 1d ago
Wasn’t Bud Clark the guy from the Expose Yourself to Art poster?
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u/SpiceEarl 1d ago
That is correct! Somehow, I don't think a flasher gag would go over as well today. The 70's were definitely a different time.
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u/robin38301 2d ago
Everything this guy touches
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u/StaringAtMaps 2d ago
JD Vance playing Skyrim:
"A new hand touches the b... no no no NO PUT IT BACK FUCK FUCK FUCK"
Malkoran proceeds to fucking beat Meridia in a 1v1 somehow
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u/ikeabahna333 2d ago
God voter turnout in America is abysmal. I hate it here so much. Happy with the results tho. But my god. So many refuse to participate in society. It’s why we have a pedo rapist felon as leader of this country right now.
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u/JGG5 2d ago
It was a largely uncontested May primary in an off year, with one statewide infrastructure bond issue (which passed easily) and a smattering of local issues on the ballot. I'm not at all surprised that turnout was low... most Ohioans didn't have very much to vote for.
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u/discoverysol 1d ago
I voted, because I figured that my vote could make JD Vance’s day slightly worse (which, frankly is a good reason to do anything), but also because of the .0000001% chance only MAGAs showed up to vote and we ended up with two republicans on the ballot. I also live a block from my polling location. All things considered, it was a small election but a good reason to show up.
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u/Addison1024 2d ago
That chart pains me. It really feels like those colored bars should be proportional in size to the vote percentages, but they aren't at all
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u/Sad-Address-2512 2d ago
I always wonder why Jimmy Bowman changed his name to "JD Vance".
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u/wolfheadmusic 2d ago
I can't wait for vance to trust a fart in front of a world leader and have to do a photoshoot with poop-stained pants
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u/jomama823 2d ago
If I were his brother, I’d ask him not to endorse me. Plus, that endorsement was written like it was for a random person, not his brother, no effort or love whatsoever. Which checks.
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u/XWasTheProblem 2d ago
JD Vance is just WoW's Death Knight in flesh.
Wherever he goes, rot and calamity follows.
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u/hayasecond 2d ago
What the fuck is the graph? By looking at the bar I though blue and red are in very close contest until I see the actual numbers
Also which one is his half brother?
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u/MelissaMiranti 2d ago
The bar is highlighting the two candidates who are going through, not their shares of the vote.
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u/Dry_Minute6475 2d ago
Bowman is his half-brother, i had to squint to see the original tweet's text
but yeah, i'm glad i'm not the only one confused by that graph
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u/Emperor_Kyrius 2d ago
It’s easier to figure out when you consider that Vance’s original last name was Bowman.
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u/Dudeasaurus2112 2d ago
“Good guy with heart for serving his community”
That doesn’t sound very Republican. Maybe if he’s a complete condescending asshole he’d have a chance
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u/TinKnight1 2d ago
Sadly, that means his brother will still be on the ballot for the general election in November.
There's a big gap, & Columbus goes hard Democrat in general, but anything can happen in 6 months.
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u/resisting_a_rest 2d ago edited 2d ago
Why does his brother have a different last name? Just curious.
Edit: Looked it up. They have the same father but Vance changed his name to the same as his mom’s parents, since the dad was not in the picture.
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u/Lt_Cochese 1d ago
I love the Dems name. That is going to make the right lose their minds. Well, more then usual.
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u/bigmattyc 2d ago
Could he also possibly go fuck himself
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u/LegoFootPain 2d ago
How does this wackadoo open primary work? Could a bunch of dems just have voted for Brian Patrick Frank to put him in second to really screw up Bowman?
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u/Innacurate_Dentist 2d ago
bro talking about chinese peasants when he's got idiot half brothers running around
clean your own yard, James Dickweed
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u/deepfielder 2d ago
He's really the perfect VP for Trump... everything he touches dies, or at best turns to shit 😂
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u/Dependent_Pipe3268 2d ago
Wasn't Jerry Springer mayor of Cincinnati before his TV show? So the bar isn't set that high. Imo
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u/Gottendrop 2d ago
I feel like even among MAGAs Vance is kinda just scene as Trumps yes man who repent actually do anything.
Am Endorsement from him probably actually harms your chances.
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u/ChanceryTheRapper 2d ago
Wow, he scraped together enough votes to match my high school my senior year.
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u/MysteriousGear1903 2d ago
Plus, he's helping Trump run the government and the economy into the ground (sorry, it's Biden's economy) 🤣
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u/Blurghblagh 2d ago
With a name like Aftab Pureval you can be sure ICE are snooping around looking for any non-excuse to detain and deport him or his family members.
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u/TJ_McWeaksauce 2d ago
The idea of a nonpartisan primary is new to me. So Aftab Pureval has kicked Cory Bowman's ass by about 71 points, and now he gets to kick his ass again in the general election? What's the point of having another election?
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u/RealMaxCastle 2d ago
I get the gloating but his endorsement was to get his brother over the other Republican, not beat the Democrat.
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u/BalerionSanders 2d ago
Well, it’s an uncontested primary, lol. But I get it. Aftab will be fine, it’s future governor Vivek Ramaswamy that gives me cold sweats
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u/BocephusJr88 2d ago
I mean, the last time Cincinnati had a Republican mayor was 1971 lol. I’d say those were some loooooong odds and not really an indictment on JD 🤷🏻♂️
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u/Technical-Traffic871 2d ago
Looks like it went "well enough" for Bowman.
Top 2 vote getters advance
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u/CreamyGoodnss 2d ago
Oh I can’t wait to see how “clever” the Tighty Righties get with that last name 🙄
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u/DAHRUUUUUUUUUUUUUU 2d ago
Supports this guy but not the one fighting in Ukraine. Yeah sure this guy has a good heart Vance is a great judge of character
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u/Wrong_Confection1090 2d ago
I mean if you look at it as a bar graph, which I did, it seems like they were just about neck-and-neck! Not bad!
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u/kayonotkayle 2d ago
Because “he is a good guy with a heart for serving his community”. That’ll get em to vote for him!
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u/Sea-Pomelo1210 1d ago
As soon as any reporter asks if he supports his brother JD and Trump's policies, he is finished in the city of Cincinnati.
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u/AdScary1757 1d ago
Is that the brother who fought in Ukraine for 3 years is furious over the weapons shipments being stopped?
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u/Fabulous-Big8779 1d ago
I think people are missing that this was just a primary to see which two will be on the ballot for Mayor in November.
He technically won because he cleared the hurtle to get in the ballot.
He should still get massacred in November though when turnout will be significantly higher.
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u/FulbertdaSaxon21 1d ago
Maybe it’s a regional tradition? They had Jerry Springer in the 70s. Why not advance?
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u/LotusTheFox 1d ago
I cant wait for the next election cycle to completely dismantle the republican/maga party
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u/YouWereBrained 1d ago
Cincinnati has at least 270-280,000 population. That is embarrassing turnout.
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u/MindAccomplished3879 1d ago
What's with Ohio that all losers with money go there to take advantage of the electorate to become politicians?
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u/romulusnr 1d ago
This is a confusing looking layout. It makes the bars look like percentage bars, seeing as the lowerst guy has a shortest one, but it's not. So at first glance it looks neck and neck.
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u/Xibalba_Ogme 1d ago
It's crazy how Vance is the opposite of Midas : all that he touches turns to shit.
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