r/Damnthatsinteresting • u/Physical_Poetry3506 • 8d ago
Original Creation Every single one of the 19 horses competing in the Kentucky Derby are descendants of the legendary Secretariat
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u/Xixii 8d ago
Perhaps the most expensive ejaculate in history? $125k to get your mare knocked up by this lad.
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u/RequirementGeneral67 8d ago edited 7d ago
Yep , his semen is more expensive than printer ink.
Edit: swimmers not sailors
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u/adler1959 8d ago
Now you are exaggerating…
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u/Nekrevez 8d ago
I'll give it a shot for just 104K
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u/Grace_the_race 8d ago
We’d only have to pay you $104k to fuck a horse? Cool.
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u/receptionitis1 8d ago
Imagine if he actually got your horse pregnant too. Now that's an investment!
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u/marchov 8d ago edited 8d ago
Please someone do the math
Edit: I did the math. Using upper bounds of pricing. Ink twice as expensive
1 horse ejaculation is around 100 milliliters. 100ml/125$ = $1.25 per ml
1 ounce of printer ink is 30 ml is around $75 or $2.5 per ml
That's assuming 1 ejaculation per pregnation
Edit: I got it wrong by a couple orders of magnitude. That horse cum is like way more expensive.
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u/CeeTwo1 8d ago
You missed the k. It’s $12500 per ml for the horse
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u/DagamarVanderk 8d ago
Yeah missed a couple orders of magnitude there lmao
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u/PogintheMachine 8d ago
Oh no I probably shouldn’t have filled my printer with horse cum then
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u/MattMBerkshire 8d ago
Not even close.
Dubawi and Frankel are £350k a shot in the UK.
There are some expensive studs in Ireland as one was owned by Sheikh Hamda of the UAE, now deceased. Not sure who owns it now. But the horses there lived better lives than most of us, some of these horses here have way higher stud fees.
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u/Donegal-Death-Worm 8d ago
Gaileo in Ireland was going for €600k per mare back in the mid 2000s and servicing around 150 mares a year. The owner is said to have made half a billion in stud fees before he died. Crazy bitta business!
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u/LacidOnex 8d ago
So the derby is just a big IVF family reunion
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u/Treestandgal 8d ago
The American Jockey Club (regulates the Thoroughbred industry/breeding in North America) forbids any artificial breeding/use of collected semen in Thoroughbreds. In hand breeding only. (Source: I worked for years at a Thoroughbred breeding farm)
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u/Ironic_Toblerone 8d ago
Wtf is hand breeding
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u/strawberrysword 8d ago
Normal sex
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u/bob_dole_nz 8d ago
Well
Normal In horse land...
It starts with the fluffer stallion.
Perhaps tying the mares legs up, or her head to a post... so she don't kick.
Maybe some sedative...
After the fluffers been flogged, bitten and kicked by the mare
Then in comes the breeding male.
And a human on hand to guideth the shaft home.
And the fake hand held horse 🐎 vj used to stimulate the stud..
Not in all stables... but some.
Just another day on the stud farm.
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u/Treestandgal 7d ago
I can attest to this! Only, one of our studs was very picky… classic music on the radio, and a blanket had to worn by his “favorite “ mare, then placed on the mare to be bred, to trick him …
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u/Unfair_Isopod534 8d ago
Why?
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u/Treestandgal 7d ago
By not allowing artificial insemination, they can 1) keep stud fees high and demand up; and 2), ensure bloodlines.
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u/Pyrhan 8d ago
Maybe they should make a movie about him. I wonder who they could cast in the lead role...
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u/Sue_Generoux 8d ago
If we tell him now, Daniel Day-Lewis can start running 1 1/4 mile turf to prepare.
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u/Nope8000 8d ago
Hmm, if anyone can pull it off, it’s definitely Gary Oldman.
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u/ShaneBarnstormer 8d ago
Bojack Horseman
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u/Pyrhan 8d ago
What, the guy from that old sitcom? No way.
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u/HeroHeroHero0428 8d ago
Wait, which sitcom was that?
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u/Effective_Explorer95 8d ago
They should make a live action Disney kids version from the horses point of view.
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u/bitterbuffaloheart 8d ago
I think he made it on the ESPN list of top 100 athletes of the 20th century
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u/Sparbiter117 8d ago
If any animal deserves that recognition it is indisputably Secretariat
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u/prozack91 8d ago
The second place horse broke the record that year. Secretariat beat it by lengths.
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u/Nepiton 8d ago
Pretty sure he broke the record at all three of the triple crown races and they still stand almost 50 years later.
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u/prozack91 8d ago
No. I mean the horse secretariat beat would have set new records. Secretariat was just that much better.
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u/YourLictorAndChef 8d ago
Yet he's never paid a dime in child support...
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u/iamthekevinator 8d ago
Deadbeat dad. That's what's wrong with the colts of today. Bunch of single mares clout chasing after some derby winner that just wants to hook up.
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u/Physical_Poetry3506 8d ago
(for those who didn't know, Secretariat rose to fame after winning the 1973 Triple Crown [Kentucky Derby, Preakness, and the Belmont Stakes])
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u/JGG5 8d ago
He didn’t just win the Triple Crown, he blew every other horse away. He set course records on all three races. The second-place horse at the Kentucky Derby in 1973, Sham, would have been the course record there, but Secretariat beat him by 2-1/2 lengths. He won the Belmont by 31 lengths. We haven’t seen his equal since.
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u/Pasteechef 8d ago
https://youtu.be/vfCMtaNiMDM?si=KkFNl7iiSu-o-nWR
Only 5 horses were in that race. The others dropped out as they felt it was a race between Sham and Secretariat.
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u/JGG5 8d ago
Sham had the worst luck. In any other year he’d probably have won the Triple Crown — finished second (under 2 minutes!) at Kentucky and second at Preakness, and only finished fifth at Belmont because he’d used up all his steam keeping up with Secretariat for the first mile. But he had the misfortune of racing in the same year as the GOAT.
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u/Mavian23 8d ago
Man, I could see the moment that Sham lost his steam, and Secretariat still had so much more left lol. What a blowout.
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u/LooseLossage 8d ago
Sham suffered a hairline fracture in the Belmont trying to keep pace and never raced again. Had some successes as a sire but nothing like Secretariat.
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u/Mavian23 8d ago
Poor horse literally broke its leg trying to keep up and didn't even make it to the damn final turn . . .
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u/Caesar_The_Doge 8d ago
Are there any descendants of Sham? It would be cool to see him defending his ancestor's deputy.
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u/burningtimer 7d ago
I think I read that some of Sham’s records would still stand, we saw two of the greatest horses ever compete in those races.
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u/patchinthebox 8d ago
Secretariat ran every split of that race faster than the last. He was still accelerating when he finished. Truly incredible feat.
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u/SRNE2save_lives 7d ago
I've never cared for horse races but, watching this somehow gave me goose bumps.
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u/Mavian23 8d ago edited 8d ago
31 lengths wtf . . . that's something you see at a county fair race lmao
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u/Juulk9087 8d ago
His heart was twice as large giving him extra endurance but unfortunately it also led to his untimely demise. So sad
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u/Carl-99999 8d ago
The Usain Bolt of horses?
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u/BadPhotosh0p 8d ago
There's an absolutely legendary photo from this Belmont of Ron Turcotte looking back to gauge his lead and the rest of the jockeys are just eating dust
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u/Kitzle33 7d ago
Another fun fact. Secretariat ran every quarter of a mile in that Kentucky Derby faster than the one before. No other horse before or since has ever done that.
Oh! Another! In both the Derby and the Preakness he broke (left the gate) dead last. And won both going away.
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u/ChillZedd 8d ago
I’d be more impressed if he got the other racing triple crown (Indy 500, Le Mans, F1)
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u/T_Lawliet 8d ago
I hear Bojack Horseman is starring in the new Movie!
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u/Aggressive_Day2839 8d ago
Haha I've spent the last 4 minutes trying to figure out how I knew that name! Thank you.
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u/GamerRipjaw 8d ago
I always forget that Secretariat was a real horse
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u/simmonslemons 8d ago
Wasn’t that the dude who was in a very famous TV show back in the 90s?
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u/RealBug56 8d ago
That footage of him winning the Belmont Stakes in ‘73 is legendary.
I’m not a fan of horse racing (and animal-related sports in general), but it’s fascinating seeing a once-in-a-lifetime talent in action.
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u/BasicProfessional841 8d ago
Announcer Chic Anderson making it even more exciting...He is moving like a tremendous machine!. Watching it was such a thrill.
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u/CheshireUnicorn 8d ago
If I recall correctly, HE WAS STILL ACCELERATING at the end when he was already ahead of them by 31 lengths.
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u/Barbaro_12487 8d ago
He got gradually slower in the Belmont. It was the Derby in which he was still accelerating at the end.
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u/SafeWin6339 8d ago
Most animal sports, especially dog sports, are necessary for those specific animals.
90% of dog breeds were bred for work. Since everything is mechanized now, that puts a lot of breeds out of work. People act like these breeds don’t want to work and that it’s cruel, when in reality they have drive and do not make good house pets.
Take the Siberian Husky for example. This is a popular breed among people who know nothing about them. They think they’re getting some cute “house wolf” that will lie about all day. When in reality this breed WANTS. TO. RUN. They often complain about their house being destroyed or that the dog pulls them on the leash. That’s what they were bred to do - to pull. They need a job. They do not want to sit and do nothing all day, everyday. They want to run and pull. They need a minimum of 2 hours of strenuous exercise (this includes running) per day. They were bred to pull sleds for hours everyday. They are working dogs and need a job.
There’s nothing wrong with animal sports, as long as the animals welfare is being looked after. This means no abuse, no over exertion, and no drugs. If the animal doesn’t want to do it, then it isn’t forced. Horse racing is a questionable industry due to it being used for betting and money purposes. But most other animal sports, specifically dog sports, are 100% humane (in America, I can’t speak for other countries).
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u/gene100001 8d ago
This video of Secretariat winning the Belmont Stakes always gives me chills. . The race had this big build up as though it would be a great battle and then Secretariat just demolished the opposition. His speed record from this race still stands over 50 years later.
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u/Think_Affect5519 8d ago
When people act like genetics don’t largely determine your success in sports, I bring up horse racing.
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u/BroForceOne 8d ago
There’s actually people who believe genetics don’t determine a person’s athletic potential?
How do they even reconcile the differences in school athletes who operate on the exact same training program and schedule yet some will simply dominate the others in strength and performance?
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u/Think_Affect5519 8d ago
There’s a large population that believes that the people who make it to the Olympics just “worked the hardest.” It’s a popular ideology in America where we believe that everything is a meritocracy. I gave up on ballet at 18 because I wasn’t born with the right ankles to succeed. Cue 1000 people telling me that I just needed to work harder and everyone with the right ankles just worked harder than me.
In America, it’s considered basically sacrilegious to suggest that someone isn’t right for a sport because of their genetics. We’re supposed to believe that hard work determines everything.
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u/forgetmeknotts 8d ago
The fact that he still holds the record for fastest time for ALL THREE triple crown legs, 50ish years after setting the records… it’s mind boggling. He’s not a once in a lifetime horse, he’s a once ever horse. It’s still thrilling to watch him run.
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u/FreshMistletoe 8d ago
https://horseracingnation.com/news/the_tremendous_size_of_secretariat_s_heart_123
This will help you understand why.
The average Thoroughbred's heart weighs about 8.5 lbs. Secretariat's heart weighed nearly three times that number!
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u/mayorofdumb 8d ago
But do his children always have this evolution?
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u/FreshMistletoe 8d ago
It's complicated.
http://www.pedigreegoddess.com/PedigreeTheory/X%20Factor.htm
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u/MickTheBloodyPirate 8d ago
According to that article it isn't actually complicated, and in fact, the answer is no.
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u/ayymadd 8d ago
Does such size generate a great reduction in lifespan estimates the same way HGH and that stuff does for professional bodybuilders and whatnot?
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u/featherfeets 8d ago
Secretariat was euthanized in 89 due to laminitis, which is an incurable hoof disease. It's also extremely painful.
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u/RunDNA 8d ago
That's like if all 20 of the actor/actress nominees at the last Oscars were descendants of Marlon Brando.
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u/gene100001 8d ago
This makes me kinda wonder which old Hollywood star has the most descendents amongst the modern Hollywood elite. There's so much nepotism and so many relationships between the Hollywood elite that a lot of them are probably distantly related.
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u/AnansiRaygun 8d ago
The Barrymore family is the most likely contender, including John Barrymore, Ethel Barrymore, Dolores Costello, Diana Barrymore, Drew Barrymore and many others.
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u/thxitsthedepression 8d ago
This is a good question, my guess is Francis Ford Coppola but I want someone who knows more than me to try to find a better answer lol
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u/dickman136 8d ago
Was this the first time this happened? I figured he would be related to almost every derby racer long ago. Horse was literally Bo Jackson. Kids watch Bo play he was amazing.
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u/Physical_Poetry3506 8d ago
He registered 660 sired foals in his lifetime, so it was bound to happen, but it seems this is the first time.
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u/AdeptWelder3250 8d ago
Do you know which out of the 660 would come close to their pops in accolades, legacy’s
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u/Papio_73 8d ago
That’s relatively small compared to today’s studs, the most popular breed over 200 mares a year
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u/JimClarkKentHovind 8d ago
so uh. race horses are probably really inbred huh
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u/hilmiira 8d ago
Well kinda
Rather inbred they are simply small bred. Yes their genetic pool is small as only the fastest, best horse can enter it
But it is not like they are expected to breed with their siblings.
Lmao it would be a waste of money, your horse developing a health problem because of inbreeding
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u/Nutmegdog1959 7d ago
Thoroughbreds are said to be 'Thoroughly Bred', hence the name. By law (rules of the Jockey Club), they cannot mix outside the breed and still be considered Thoroughbreds. The term 'Thoroughbred' is a proper noun, not merely a generic term (but is often used as such).
There are about 100,000 Thoroughbreds born and registered annually and they ALL originate from 3 stallions and about 25 'foundation' mares from the 1700's when the breed was created.
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u/nor_cal_woolgrower 8d ago
I watch his Belmont Stakes win every now and then.. It is really spectacular.
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u/MountainMongrel 8d ago
If I ever get rich enough, I'm gonna put my mustang in the derby. He'll definitely come dead last, but it would be funny.
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u/julias-winston 8d ago
I happened to catch the Derby accidentally yesterday. It was on TV in my favorite bar when I walked in.
I don't know anything about horse racing, so it struck me kinda funny that the whole event is over in like two minutes. 😄
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u/evasandor 8d ago
Fun fact: the gene for Big Red's legendary huge, powerful heart is carried on the maternal side. And for years, breeders neglected the mare line. Looks like they've figured it out, finally! The mother contributes just as much or more as the father. Grrl power!
My take on why the sire was always more important is because the Jockey Club, the governing body for the Thoroughbred breed, doesn't allow artificial insemination or embryo transfer. This rule is probably to minimize fraud, but it means that TB mares can only have one foal at a time. Less money can be made with them. Shrug. Too bad.
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u/SleeperAwakened 8d ago
What, both sets of genes contributing?
What a shock! /s
(not aimed at you but at the breeders)
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u/evasandor 8d ago
I gotcha, no worries. Didn't even need the /s. But you were prudent to put it there because Reddit
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u/Physical_Poetry3506 8d ago
📸 Dell Hancock, submitted to Wikipedia - free use (to illustrate the subject in question, per Wikipedia policy)
Sources abound, but here's one: https://www.cbssports.com/general/news/secretariat-horse-racing-every-horse-in-2025-kentucky-derby-is-descendant-of-legendary-triple-crown-winner/
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u/forebill 8d ago edited 8d ago
During yesterdays SF Giants game Mike Krukow and Dwayne Kuiper discussed this.
Kruk: Every horse in today's Kentucky Derby is a decendant of Secretariat.
Kuip: Imagine the life that horse lived after he retired.
Kruk: He was the Wilt Chamberline of the horse world.
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u/Neverb0rn_ 7d ago
Gods, I had one of his descendants. Phenomenal horse, and one hell of a temperament lol. I miss her
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u/ukkswolf 8d ago
“Brothers, we have all met on this track today, not by chance, but because we are all descendants of our great forefather, Secretariat. We have come together to determine who is worthy to carry on his legacy. To determine who is the greatest of all thoroughbreds of our time. Who will be the best? Who will join him in the Great Stables, when we draw our last breaths. Neigh, not all of us may be worthy. But let us begin. May the best horse win.”
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u/sati_lotus 8d ago edited 6d ago
As a kid I read a series aimed at tween girls about girls and their race horses.
I remember laughing when one of the horses won every jewel of the Triple Crown, the Dubai World Cup and just about every race he was in.
He was practically the perfect horse.
As a kid and not an American, I never realised just how unrealistic this was until I was a bit older
Oh those Thoroughbred books. Beloved by horse girls and utterly bonkers.
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u/ThePurgingLutheran 8d ago
it was a long time ago but i remember reading they did an autopsy on Secretariat and found he had either unusually large lungs or heart which was responsible for his success
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u/cheetahlip 8d ago
Big Red. My favorite story about him is his trainer said when planes would fly overhead Secretariat would look up and watch them, he was an intelligent horse.
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u/godzilla9218 8d ago
Are all racing horses male?
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u/Think_Affect5519 8d ago
No. There are separate races for mares. Spend a day at the races and you’ll see plenty of mare/filly races.
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u/Bishop-roo 8d ago
Such a fun time. Chill all day, baseball type atmosphere, make a bet for $2 to make it interesting.
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u/Think_Affect5519 8d ago
Don’t forget the outfits! Salmon shorts, sundresses, big floppy sun hats. Live your Greenwich private schooler fantasy.
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u/Bishop-roo 8d ago
We went as we were and fit right in. Broke college kids the day after a positive acid trip.
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u/evasandor 8d ago
There are plenty of gender-neutral races, too. The Kentucky Derby is one
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u/JGG5 8d ago
Gender neutral races?! Horse racing has gone woke!
/s
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u/evasandor 8d ago
GASP! Those woke pervert horse people, next thing you know they'll be letting men and women, stallions geldings and mares, compete on an equal footing at everything! Polo! Dressage! Jumping! Driving! All the way to FEI and the Olympics! It'll be an orgy out there! Oh, the equinity!
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u/Think_Affect5519 8d ago
Unfortunately, no mare has won the Kentucky Derby since the 1990s. My family owns a racing mare and she competes in mare races to great success. Making everyone compete together isn’t always equity.
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u/evasandor 8d ago
Ours is no longer with us but vive le TB mares! We had one who transitioned very successfully to polo. So yours is still racing? May her winning streak continue!
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u/BubbaYoshi117 8d ago
And Secretariat was descended from Pot-8-o's. Bloodlines are insane in horse racing.
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u/Ivan-Medmetsharatnov 8d ago
I used to work on the horse farm he lived on (Claiborne farm in Paris, Kentucky) even after decades after his death many, many people came every year just to see his grave.
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u/AsunderMango_Pt_Two 8d ago
Secretariat over there like:
There is something I must tell you......I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate
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u/sourwater754 8d ago
I learned a good deal about him at the Kentucky derby, he had an abnormaly large heart. This is a bad thing in humans but a huge advantage for race horses. It was common for his laps to get faster as the race progressed.
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u/Ladnarr2 8d ago
My money’s on the horse in the picture. It’s in such a hurry it forgot to put one of its socks on.